Review: Snake Eyes – Agent of Cobra #2

Oh... hello... ...

I suppose you're here about the review of your latest issue.  You probably want to know what I think of it.  My opinion.  A brief recap of the story followed by subjective editorializing.

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Of course you do, why else would you be here.  You know... GI Joe used to be huge... in my youth.  We used to gather in parks and on playgrounds, in sandboxes and in the school yard.  All those were places people played, where they gathered, and we turned them into a battlefield.  Our battlefield.  Where we waged your war, the war that we MADE our own.  Because we had to.  Because that's what the cool kids did and we wanted so desperately to be... cool...

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You want to know what I thought of the story.  I don't know what's happening in it.  Apparently the son of Cobra Commander is very important.  Did you know Cobra Commander was a used car dealer?  It said so on his file card.  I bet you didn't know I that had a file card on you.  I have file cards on all of you, I got them when I bought you and your people wholesale!

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Alright, alright, I can tell you're mad, I'll get back to the story.  There is suddenly no mention of Destro or Cobra proper or even GI Joe.  It kind of made the last issue pointless really.  The entire issue is just one person talking.  Having a whole conversation by themselves, knowing exactly what you want and responding accurately and efficiently.  There's also padding in the form of flashbacks and internal monologue.  Extending the story artificially.  I personally don't believe in padding an article.  Everything I do is vital to the review, I learned that in high school when my writing teacher...

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(I could tell that he was mad so I decided to get back to the review) Sorry.  The story doesn't establish much other than revealing Storm Shadow at the end.  That's right... Storm Shadow... I spoiled it.  I spoiled it so that others won't have to waste their time with this nonsense.  Nostalgia carried you through the first issue but now it's time to stand on your own.  You did manage to slip in one comment about how you make people have conversations with themselves but can't you see... you still do it so you can't be forgiven.  Just because you make fun of the trope doesn't make it better.

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But what about the art?  The art is, at this point, you're only saving grace.  It's really clean and dynamic and I think the action scenes have a lot of flow to them.  In fact, those action scenes are the only reason I want to continue the series, your plot kind of ground to a halt this issue and if it weren't for that last panel I probably could have missed the whole thing without consequence.  This series really needs a buddy cop to play off you.  This person that talks this whole issue, I don't care about her.  I was hoping Destro would be the Eddie Murphy to your Nick Nolte but he's gone now.  If you wanted to team up with a Cobra woman then Baroness or Demolitia would have been cool.  I will admit, by playing the Storm Shadow card you've eliminated the most obvious twist, you being Storm Shadow so I am curious how this plays out but I hope it picks up soon.

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What is it?  What could I have possibly forgot to mention.

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Finally, some sign language I understand... but it won't raise the score of your book any.


Score: 2/5


Writer: Mike Costa Artist: Paola Villanelli Colorist: Joana LaFuente Publisher: IDW Publishing Price: $3.99 Release Date: 2/25/15 Format: Ongoing; Print/Digital