Ah, Riverdale. You haven’t been in this much trouble since that Al Qaeda sleeper cell that planned to dirty bomb the sock hop was discovered to be working out of the malt shop. But this is worse… Zombies have overtaken the place. Kiss showed up to rock some tunes and break some maidenheads like they did when the Alive tour rolled through Riverdale in ‘75.

Veronica brought the drama two issues ago when she botched one of Sabrina’s protection spells. And now Archie and the gang have to deal with the fallout of her poor life choices like they did when the bumbling brunette gave them all crabs in issue 570.

Kiss saves Archie. But it’s not permanent. Unless the crew can destroy The Dynasty Amulet, the zombie curse won’t be broken. Jughead cries foul, so Paul cries “Black Diamond” and turns his guitar into a flying ankh. Via a Dickensian Christmas Carol episode, Kiss shows the Riverdale gang what the place would be like if run by zombies. Meanwhile, Veronica learns that the group of monsters (complete with an apathetic Twilight vampire knock-off) has the Dynasty Amulet. The baddies plan to hold a carnival to suck the fun out of everyone. And suck some other things in the process.

Kiss and the Archies get back in time to have their asses handed to them by the Monster Squad (great movie, go watch it soon!). Next issue will tell if Archie lives through this or gets a full-page ad in the yearbook…

I was a little disappointed in the slow pacing of issue 628. This issue, however, moves along better, has cheesier jokes, and features Sabrina in that killer plaid skirt. That said, this issue was better than the last. The story felt more vibrant and less stagnant due to Kiss’ active involvement. And as hokey as the flying ankh was, it did elevate the conflict.

The art is typical Archie comics. That means I may need to see a therapist for how badly I wanted to bone Betty, Veronica, Sabrina, and Salem the Cat. Sorry about the last one, but I’d hit all the pussy in Riverdale. Take that, Gene Simmons.

Score: 3/5

Writer: Alex Segura Artist: Dan Parent Publisher: Archie Comics Price: $2.99 Release Date: 1/25/12