Can we all just pause for a moment and bask in the glory of the age we live in? Its 2015, cars still suck, jetpacks are impractical and I’m tired of hearing about hoverboards, but do you know what we do have? Archie vs. Predator. No you’re not getting it.

This book isn’t going to change your life. It isn’t going to revolutionize Archie Comics (because they’re basically doing that already), it’s not going to add something new to the Predator lore. And none of that matters.

Why you ask? Because Archie. Versus. Predator.

ARCHIE. VERSUS. PREDATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here’s the thing. I don’t think Archie Comics receives enough credit for just how fucking incredible their company is. I’m almost sad to see them reboot the main line because I’m afraid that things like this won’t be possible. How many people have illustrated this series and it basically looks the same? You don’t jump on to Archie and add your flair, you do the Archie style and that’s fucking boss. That’s comic book and that’s what this story is, it’s very comic booky.

Dumb term right? Well it’s something that can and will only happen in a comic book. You’ll never get this anywhere else and why would you? Here it’s simple, it’s sweet and amazing because it shouldn’t exist. Yeah, no fucking way should this be a thing. “Archie” plus anything is pretty great, but Archie vs. Predator? Bloodbath. Bloodbath waiting to happen.

That’s another kudos for Archie as they actually allow for this to happen. Will everyone die? Will Danny Glover make an appearance and nervously wipe the sweat from his lip? I don’t know. Kudos to Dark Horse as well because let’s be serious this isn’t really for their typical Predator fan. That’s bold because they’re risking their report with that fan base to produce something comic booky which isn’t something they do often as a company.

What happens in this first issue? Well it’s spring break and the Jughead wins the gang (the entire gang) a trip to an exotic island! Take that rich assholes that drive by to rub their vacation in everyone’s faces! Hijinks ensue as they hold a best dressed contest for the year book and Veronica draws first blood on Betty. Also Archie has heart eyes for like 30% of the issue.

It’s fucking great.

Alex de Campi weaves a story that is very Archie, but then on this cusp of going mature, but mature in the Archie style. It’s weirdly awesome. Does everyone talk too much? Check. Is that the Archie style? Fuck yeah it is and she nails it. Some might be put off by that, but I couldn’t stop gobbling up every pointless exposition that moved the plot forward. Is there a lot of Predator time in the story? No, but that’s exactly like every other Predator story ever so its spot on as well. I didn’t realize de Campi was writing this and I’m glad that it was her, it was perfect.

I’ve never heard of Fernando Ruiz, but he nails this story. His artwork is in the Archie style through and through. In particular the one appearance from the Predator is pure camp and I loved it. Also I loved how Ruiz manages to fit the entire cast of characters on the page as often as possible. Its total overkill, but in the best possible Archie way. It’s a visual assault but I loved it. Also Betty’s “best dressed” outfit was hideous, but something about the way the men reacted made it great. Just dumb fun.

Should you buy this issue and series? Absolutely. Tell your friends, buy one for a random stranger. Give a copy to your kids and prepare for the questions. This issue was everything it should have been and everything I wanted. Will it beat any of Archie’s other random ass meet ups? I don’t know, but there’s a strong possibility and even if it doesn’t it’s still incredible. Lastly we owe everyone involved a debt of graduated as this series gives new meaning to AVP.

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Score: 5/5

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Archie vs. Predator #1 (of 4) Writer: Alex de Campi Artist: Fernando Ruiz Publisher: Dark Horse/Archie Comics Price: $3.99 Release Date: 4/15/15 Format: Mini-Series; Print/Digital

Here more about Achie vs. Predator #1 on this week's episode of the CBMFP!