By Kelly Gaines

Assassinistas continues to confound me. #4 has raised some serious questions about how conjugal visits work, what qualifies as bad parenting for a spy, and exactly how easy is it to function after being stabbed? It’s a whirlwind story in the best way. Assassinistas offers no chance to catch your breath once an issue is started. It’s action, action, action. Well- It’s Espionage, sex, stabbing- and that’s fine too. We pick up again with the over 30 superspies as Octavia and her son (and her son’s boyfriend) search for Charlotte’s son, Charlotte reaches out to Octavia’s ex because she suspects Octavia of being the kidnapper, and Rosalyn continues to be an asshole and reminisces about other times she was an asshole. If you can keep the characters straight, Assassinistas is pure fun. There’s quite a bump of time between issues, but opening with a quick recap is an easy fix- one I wish comics would use more frequently.

Assassinista’s #4 starts off with a blast from the past. Specifically, Rosalyn betraying her friends for some good old fashioned prison sex with their #1 enemy. I experienced a new high of disgust when Julien says the words “you smell pregnant, darlin’” after stabbing Rosalyn in the stomach. Did the guards not check for shanks before clearing him for a sex visit? Where was he hiding that? AND HOW CAN YOU SMELL PREGNANT. That is a sentence I hope to never read again, and I assure you all now- in written sincerity- that should anyone ever say those words to me, I will likely stab myself. They didn’t want us to like Julien, and mission 100,000,000% accomplished.

Rosalyn and Julien’s history is cut by scenes of the present, where Octavia and Charlotte exist in constant suspicion of one another, though they appear to be on the same page. Charlotte, still pregnant and diving into unhealthy stress levels, has become increasingly impatient with the return of her son. Her choice to enlist Octavia’s ex and Dom’s father, Carlos, as a food truck wielding spy tracker feels only slightly petty. Carlos may seem more interested in promoting his breakfast bar on wheels, but he agrees to help Charlotte follow Octavia. Meanwhile, Octavia, Taylor, and Dom have zeroed in on where they think Kyler might be hidden. Bizarre as ever, Octavia and Dom find the middle of a shootout to be the best time to have the “mom, are you mad that I’m gay” talk. I assume that conversation is difficult enough, and dodging literal bullets doesn’t seem to make it any easier for them. For a woman who has murdered, betrayed, and allowed her child to join her on a life-threatening mission, Octavia seems to be having a difficult time fully accepting her son. While Octavia exhibits more questionable parenting decisions, Taylor has a mini-meltdown when he realizes that the targets he’s been shooting at are human beings, not robots as he had originally believed. In the midst of his self-pity smoke break, Taylor comes face to face with the real target- Kyler. In a Disney movie things would wrap up nicely at this point, but I don’t get the sense Assassinistas has any such closure in mind. In fact, I think the discovery of Kyler is likely just another step down the rabbit hole for this team.

This whole series has been refreshing, fast-paced, and full of clever twists. Simply put, I’m enjoying the ride. If you haven’t read the first 3 issues it’ll be difficult to jump in, so I recommend backtracking to #1 and giving the title a shot. Who doesn’t love a quirky spy story with complicated parents and even more complicated backstories? It’s like a more female-centric Archer, minus the wealth and double the mommy issues. If you’re interested, it’s not too late to catch up. And if you’re not interested, well, you must not be any fun.

Score: 4/5

Assassinistas #4
Black Crown/IDW