By Cat Wyatt

Batman #46 continues the alternate timeline plot started in the last issue. Last we learned Bruce’s parents are alive, resulting in him never becoming Batman (but don’t worry, another familiar figure picks up the mantle – though he has no problem just killing the criminals and anyone else that gets in his way). He’s not with Selena either. This whole mess is courtesy of Blooster; this was his bright idea of a wedding gift.

It’s been a year since the last issue, where Blooster tried to talk to Bruce Wayne, only to have his time travel device (and friend) destroyed (thus ensuring that Blooster couldn’t simply press a button an resolve all of this). It seems like ever since that moment Blooster has been desperately trying to find a way to resolve this problem (you know, the one he created) and he isn’t having much luck. Nor is he having much access to razors, but that’s a different point altogether.

You’re probably wondering what his latest plan is, huh? Apparently Booster decided that since it was the love of Bruce and Selena that caused this (and by this I mean Booster wanting to give them the wonderful wedding gift of still alive parents) the best way to make Bruce into the man he was meant to be is to introduce (reintroduce?) him to Selena Kyle.

There’s a slight problem with that logic (besides the obvious that is); Selena is in Arkham. And not for one of the fun heist gigs we know and love her for…but because she’s a known and dangerous serial killer. From what I understand, this alternate future Selena is a blend between her character and that of another (her childhood friend who snapped and killed all of those responsible for tearing apart the orphanage they grew up in). Which is…interesting. I’m not sure how Bruce’s parents being alive would result in Selena becoming a killer instead of a high rolling thief… but I’m getting distracted again, aren’t I?

Anyway, naturally, the only way to get these two…lovers…reunited is to break Selena out of Arkham (which sounds like a bad idea, if you ask me) and bring her to Bruce. And that’s assuming both parties are willing and will respond the way Booster wants them to…and since they’re humans with complex emotions (at least, I’m going to assume they both have that capability) that so isn’t going to happen.

Meanwhile, Bruce is watching the city burn. No, really. He and his father are watching a bunch of fires and explosions from the safety of their tall building. The elder Mr. Wayne feels that he failed the city – everything he and his wife tried to do to save the city and it all amounted to nothing. Villains and anti-villains are running all over the city, and it doesn’t seem to matter how much money the Wayne's throw at the problem, it refuses to go away.

I’m not sure if it was his emotional response to what is happening or awful timing, but the elder Wayne has what appears to be a heart attack (or a cardiovascular event of some sort). I’m not going to lie to you; my first and immediate thought was that this was the timeline trying to right itself again and that he was doomed to die. That doesn’t actually appear to be the case, but seriously, can you blame me for jumping right to that?

For the record, Booster totally succeeded in springing Selena from Arkham. That actually isn’t my concern here. Actually, I have two concerns. One, he’s just set free a known serial killer. Two, she has only said one word to him: meow. It isn’t a sultry meow either, more like it’s the only one she’s retained over the years. So consider me worried. I don’t know how Booster expects Selena to wow and seduce Bruce like this…but he does.

And no, the inclusion of her cat suit (sewn by Booster) will not help. Speaking of her Booster sewn catsuit…um…it looks an awful lot like the Halley Berry catsuit many of us have spent years trying to forget about. Is this an intentional reference? And if so, is it meant to make us cringe? Because if so, it worked!

I think we can all agree that throwing a half-mad Catwoman and an angry and bitter Bruce (who just almost lost his father) into the same room is not a good idea, right? It’ll be even worse if he does this with no warnings, introductions, or any semblance of control over the situation… which is totally how this is going to end up going.

The conclusion to this issue is one of those that are better off read and seen than discussed like this, so I’m not going to ruin it for you. I will say that I wasn’t even remotely surprised how things went…though I was a little shocked by the…severity of it all. I sincerely have no idea how Booster is going to fix this one.

I’m having a bit of a love/hate relationship with this plot. On the one hand, I’m pretty tired of alternative timeline and ‘what if’ stories like this. On the other hand, I’m somewhat amused by Booster's antics; it seems like the harder he tries to fix something, the worse he makes things. I think I would actually enjoy these antics a whole lot more if he weren’t mucking about in an established character’s world and plots.

Where there parts of this story that have caught my attention? Absolutely? Do I hope that this plot ends soon? Yes, please! Honestly this whole thing feel more like a stalling tactic (to make us wait longer for the wedding) than anything else. It doesn’t feel well thought out, and while some of the changes that have happened make sense (like Grayson becoming a violent Batman after the death of his parents; with no Bruce to soften his edge it was sure to go poorly) others feel like they were done just to make a change (like Selena; wouldn’t the Wayne’s have personally insured that the orphanage kept running?).

Score: 3/5

Batman #46
DC Comics