By Dustin Cabeal

I’m going to ask a serious question: Why was this made? That’s seriously my question because there’s nothing of value to this comic. Whatever love anyone might have for these two characters, I can assure you that nothing is being added to their lore. There’s no “fan” moments to the story, and in the end, this will be quickly forgotten if it even makes it to its sixth issue. DC has made a lot of improvements since Rebirthing itself, but this… I don’t know what the fuck this is. It doesn’t feel like the rest of Rebirth, it doesn’t feel like the New 52, and it doesn’t feel like old DCU.

Let me walk you through it. We open, yet again, in the future of the story with Strange and Hawkman having already fought a battle that we’ve yet to see. They’re still injured and standing around… that’s all they’re doing. But it gives us a window into Marc Andreyko’s version of Adam Strange. He’s a dad joke. His entire character is just one big fucking dad joke. It’s as if Strange is a TV fucking dad and one of the kids came home with a shitty report card and he has to make the audience laugh… make us laugh, Adam Strange… make us laugh.

He won’t though. Adam Strange not only didn’t make me laugh, but he genuinely disappointed me with his comedy, how paint by numbers it was. I can’t for the life of me picture anyone actually laughing at the terrible jokes that run throughout this book. If you lie and say you did, please tell me the page and the joke and include the rock you’ve been under all your damn life because all of the jokes have been used before… years ago they might have been funny. Might.

What happens in the story you ask? Adam Strange sees Hawkman’s dick. That’s it. And that should be funny, but then he says. “This is something I’ll never unsee” while making a fart face. The biggest problem is that artist Aaron Lopresti didn’t draw his eyes looking at Hawkman’s dick.

We finally meet the villain… I guess. I mean he shows up and does nothing. Gives us no insight into his plan. He just says, “I’m home… or something.” I was like, “Who are you talking to? Who are you even? REMIND ME!” Because the story refuses to do it’s goddamn job and tell me your name you’re just red fish turd because that’s what you look like and that’s aaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllll I have to go on.

My biggest problem with Death of Hawkman is that I think it’s trying to be a fucking comedy. Like Andreyko pitched the idea of doing a comedic death for Hawkman and someone actually thought it would be a good idea.

“I want to kill Hawkman…”

“Who doesn’t?”

“I want to do it with bad jokes.”

“I’m listening.”

“Adam Strange will make the jokes.”

“Who?”

“Adam Strange, he was created by Gardner Fox… I want to shit all over his creations.”

“Who doesn’t?”

“It’s a death book, but funny… can I do it?”

“We have some room in the schedule… let’s pluck this bird’s wings!”

“Oh, that’s good. Can I use that in the comic?”

“I don’t see why not, I don’t even work here… you almost done on the toilet Mr. Andreyko?”

“I’m making comics… I mean poopies.”

“Basically the same thing, well you just flush twice when you’re done so I can finish this floor and move on to Didio’s office… he’s making big poopies in there.”

I’m no longer interested in Hawkman’s death. This book has made it clear from this issue that it has no interest in highlighting what’s interesting about these two characters so that one is deeply affected by the other’s demise. Instead, it wants to shit all over them, and it’s doing that quite well. Death of Hawkman won’t just kill Hawkman, but it’ll kill any readers interest in the character for years to come. I’d say the same for Adam Strange, but I’m pretty sure no one cared, to begin with. I wish I knew the answer to the question I asked at the start, but I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

Score: 1/5

Death of Hawkman #2
Writer: Marc Andrekyo
Artist: Aaron Lopresti
Publisher: DC Comics