By Patrick Wolf

I actually read this issue a few days ago but didn’t get around to reviewing it until now. Unfortunately, the moment I put my pen to the paper and tried to write about this comic, I realized I couldn’t remember a single event that happened. The story was so mediocre, bland, and uninspiring that it actually completely erased itself from my memory within just a few short days. I think this pretty much sums up what I think of Eternity #1: Epic cover, epic writer, epic fail.

The story takes place shortly after the Divinity series and opens with the murder of the Observer. With the Observer dead, the land of the unknown must now find a replacement before their enemies get a whiff of his absence. Travelling as quickly as they can, they fly to Earth to find Divinity and Myshka. However, it’s not the couple they seek: it’s something much more closer to them. 

Normally, I’m a huge fan of Matt Kindt. I consider him to be the master of action and fast-paced storytelling, and I usually love everything he touches. Unfortunately, I can’t get behind this one. I know we’re only one issue into this series, but I already sense it’s going to be as boring and forgettable as its predecessor: Divinity.

To begin with, the main characters are a bunch of uninteresting, unemotional, unexciting sacks of muscle. There’s just no depth to them. I get it that they’re god-like beings, but giving them robot-like personalities just doesn’t make for good drama. You could literally kill any of the principle characters in the next issue and I wouldn’t be fazed in the slightest. That’s how little I care for these people. 

Another element that also bothered me was the plot: ‘The son of a superhero gets kidnapped’. Wow, original. Not only has this archetype been done 5-gazillion times already, but also we all already know the kid’s not going to die. My prediction is he’ll become the next Observer, but even if he doesn’t, I don’t care. There’s just not enough suspense, drama, and personality for me to become emotionally invested in any of these characters’ destinies.

As for the art, it didn’t fail to disappoint either. I guess what got to me was the stark contrast between the cover painting and the in-page drawings. Whereas the cover is dark, deep, and intriguing, the in-pages are rushed, simplistic, and uninspiring. It’s almost as if Trevor Hairsine read the script and transferred Matt Kindt’s lifeless drab into an equally uneventful pictorial representation. If that was indeed the case, kudos to Hairsine: he really managed to capture the boringness of this story in visual form.

The only thing decent about this book was the cover. In fact, the cover’s so awesome Valiant should give the artists responsible for it a raise. Because of these brave souls, this series will actually sell a few copies. I can already see it: some poor chump sees the stunning cover and says to himself, ‘Wow this looks epic!’ He then buys the book, goes home, flips the pages, and exclaims the only thing a human with any decency could exclaim: ‘WTF?’

SCORE: 2/5

Eternity #1
Writer: Matt Kindt
Artist: Trevor Hairsine
Colorist: David Baron
Inker: Ryan Winn
Publisher: Valiant Comics