It’s a big TV day here on the site! I’m trying to start positive because man oh man… this fucking episode. I will say that I popped a little for the ending, but overall it did so many stupid things that I could barely make it through. I decided after watching this episode that if the finale didn’t wow me and win me over in a big way that I wouldn’t be back for the next season. The villain of the episode is Everyman. He’s a shapeshifter and so that’s… that’s about all you need to know. Just kidding. He’s framing people for crimes as he commits them in their skin. Eddie falls victim to this as Everyman aka Hannibal Bates aka seriously we took Hannibal Lecter and Norman Bates and created a character? (I don’t know if that really happened, but come on… it probably did) Any way, Eddie is framed for murder and of course bringing in a shapeshifter to prove it isn’t quite where the city and police are at just yet. The conclusion of this is lame as shit and defies logic and police procedure which happens twice in this episode.

Meanwhile Hannibal finds Barry… easily by the way and takes his place for a bit. No real reason is given. Barry obviously can’t get him any money and Hannibal doesn’t get the powers to go along with it so… why did he do this? Oh yeah so they could have Barry/Hannibal kiss Caitlin and stoke those flames of desire in her once again. Remember that? Remember for like two episodes they made her interested in Barry only to bring back her fiancé and completely forget about it. I was happy about that because there really was fuck all of a reason to make Caitlin fall for Barry other than to copy the terrible storylines from the Arrow. Well it looks like they really want to copy that storyline so it’s back. It’s also sadly some of Danielle Panabaker’s best acting on the series, but I’ll never forget the whole “you can peek” business so whatever.

Cisco and Joe head to another Arrow crossover as they go to Starling City and find Harrison Wells body. Yeah fuck Starling City, you couldn’t find a body in a three-inch grave for the last twenty years? Also rubber much? This entire storyline was stupid and served the Arrow more than it did the Flash as Cisco makes the “Canary Cry” for Black Canary and then she takes a picture with him in costume, but if you ever pay attention to Cisco’s shirts (which I fucking do) then you’ll know that it was from the Atom crossover episode meaning they were all on set that day and no one thought to change his fucking shirt for the picture.

This part bothered me because they remove the body with fucking Capt. Lance right there and then take the body back to Central City… um what? Is that a thing that police just allow? Oh you clearly found a murdered person go ahead and take it to another fucking city and I won’t tell anyone or do anything about it… #policeworkwat. Also, Reverse Flash knows that Joe was in Starling City even though it was never told to him and Joe doesn’t think to call him out on that bullshit. If I’m the villain and I discovered that the detective that was previously looking into me went to my former city the first thing I would do would be to zip over there and check on that fucking body! Of course if I was a villain with super speed (even spotty super speed) I would move the fucking body!

It’s really like fake Wells is just dying to be discovered which makes zero sense to his character and the story and is more in line with what the TV audience wants. Well it sucks so thanks for that CW diehards.

I’m going to talk about the ending so if you haven’t watched the episode here’s your Spoiler Alert!

Barry, Cisco and Caitlin discover fake Wells’ secret room. Which was cool for half a minute because why the fuck would you enter the room without having a plan? Fake Wells is still apparently a genius so to think he wouldn’t have security or at the very least a GoPro hanging out in one of those bubbles is just stupid. Clearly everything changes after this and its go time, but this execution was sloppy and just to entice the audience rather than be handled in a way that was smart and made our characters look like the geniuses that they pretend to be.

I mean busting in on this room is some real Scooby Doo shit and that’s what continues to annoy me about this show. The characters are supposed to be smart, but they’re all fucking idiots. Four “geniuses” on this show and they’re all fucking stupid. No one thinks before they act. No one thinks period really unless it has something to do with what someone else is packing in their pants i.e. dicks and vaginas.

That’s why I don’t think I can continue watching The Flash anymore. I care about good stories. I care about science (even bullshit TV science) at least playing a role in the story rather than being an off mention of “hey we solved the problem with science off camera.” I care about Barry growing as a person and a hero and that’s not something he’s doing. He’s a vengeful child with super speed that knows how to make his day job easier. It’s absolutely clear to me that all this show and the CW care about is making love stories that happen to have super heroes in them and by doing that it washes away anything else that could have been good about it.

Then next time you watch Flash just think about how much focus is put on “dicks and vaginas” rather than the character development, the plot development or just having a competent story.

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Score: 1/5

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Flash 1.19 – “Who Is Harrison Wells?” The Flash airs Tuesdays 8/7 C