Alright, folks. Strap-on to your dildo controlled, rocket powered magical time traveling wheelchair, because motherfuckin’ Gawd H8s Fapstronauts 10 is here! The final issue! Last of its kind. The end. No more. That’s it. They’re finally taking good ol’ Ryan Browne out into the back shed and putting him out of his misery. RIP Ryan Browne (please work on a new series with Charles Soule already). I swindled this review out of my fellow comic bastich/roommate Nick, who lost it after an intense match in which he crumbled under my fantastic submission maneuver, the “Pabs Blue Ribbon.” That’s right. He tapped out like a BITCH. Hold on, I think he heard me. What? … Yeah, I called you a bitch! … No, in the review. … Yeah, the review of the book you lost. LIKE A BITCH! … Bring it, son! Anytime!
Anyway, he won’t be bothering me now. In this issue we find out that our good bud 3-D Cowboy is doing great! And we join Starrior and her gang of superpowered bro husbands, plus a giant head, minus a foot, as they venture into the land of Super Gentendo 64 to rescue little Starlina from becoming their power battery. Meanwhile on Earth…
Anyone heard that?
Just me? Ok. Moving on. There’s something very interesting to be said about God Hates Astronauts as a series. From the surface it seems like it’s a random mash up of jokes and craziness. Like what would happen if some weird version of 4chan has been filled with a bunch of pre-teens who’ve just learned how to curse because they were kept in basement with nothing but Marvel comics, videogames, and art supplies. But once I’ve sat down and studied this issue, there is something more fun to be had here. Ryan Browne managed to mash all these comic and videogame references in a way that doesn’t feel tiresome even after 10 issues and several rereads… what?
I swear someone is moving around outside my window, guys. It’s ok, I’ll get this review done even if it kills me. And it won’t. I mean, it’s just a comic book review.
Dios Odia Astronautas could have easily been a series done with simple, almost simplistic art, and it would have a similar effect, or would be chucked off as another web comic from a crazy guy who writes great jokes. Instead there was no spared detail in this comic. Browne’s penciling was on point with every panel in every issue, the background work alone should earn him taking over Howard The Duck after Chip Zdarsky is inevitably murdered by either a fan or Matt Fraction wearing the skin of a fan and-- FUCK!
Folks! My fellow reviewer and new arch nemesis Nick “Petunias” Philpott has crashed down through my window Jason Bourne-style and use his momentum to put an elbow drop that threw me off! He is trying to pry my hands off the keyboard but I’ve managed to push him away and now have him on a headlock, I believe the rest of this review will be written with my expertly trained toes, BUT WAIT! He’s broken off the lock and drop me into a jawbreaker! He’s now swinging from the couch and bounced back to deliver a closeline that damn near ripped me in two! He’s going for the cover! There’s a referee running in from the broken window to give a three count and I’ve tapped out at two!
I’m not sure I’ll be able to go much longer here, but here I come! Throwing fellow comic bastard and Marvel aficionado Nick off the top rope so I can turn around and jump into a spring moonsault off the third rope! I get up and throw aspiring comic book writer and lover of pop music Nick Petunias back into the ring. Oh my god! he just ran back and forth for a baseball slide that hit me square in the face as I was getting back in the ring!
Fantastic comic book reviewer and maker of supreme grilled cheeses Nick Panama is going to take to the air… I slide his leg and falls right into the turnbuckle! Ladies and gentlemen that has GOT to hurt! I quickly run back into the ring and put Green Day fan and lover of event comics Nick Pistachio up in my shoulders.... Running power bomb! 1… 2… 3! That’s it folks! I’ve managed to take down wrestling fan and quoting master Nick “Philpott” Petunias!
All in all, God hates Astronauts is a pretty great series. I truly hope this isn’t the end and just a fairly extended hiatus because Mr. Ryan Browne’s work got the acknowledgement it deserves, therefore we will be seeing a lot more of him working with other characters we love.
God Hates Astronauts #10 Writer/Artist/Creator: Ryan Browne Colorist: Jordan Browne Letterer: Chris Crank, Ryan Browne Publisher: Image Comics Price: $3.50 Release Date: 7/29/15 Format: Ongoing; Print/Digital