When I was younger you’d be hard pressed to find a bigger fan of the Master of the Universe series.  I had all of the toys and I mean ALL of them.  I loved the cartoon movie, hell I even watched She-ra to get all the action I could. I saw the live action movie and even at that time my young moviegoer heart knew something was a mist. This can’t be THAT bad right?  Fast forward to now and I’m reading a digital comic from DC written by big comic fancy man Geoff Johns—let’s go! On planet Eternia, centuries before Prince Adam; two brothers from a ravaged city of Tratvera are deep within the jungle running for their lives as a horde of beast men pursue them. With their backs against the wall one of the brothers attempts to make the sacrifice to hold off the monster to buy some time for the kids to escape. But the brothers agree that if they die they die together.

Before the beast can react, a man comes from the shadows with an electric mace that seamlessly smashes in the army of beasts. The brothers are now rescued by a knight that once served under the now deceased King Grayskull. Before a second army of best men make their way the hero takes the boys to his cave home.

As the boys settle in they instantly recognize the man as Sir Laser Lot (sigh). The brothers proceed to tell Laser Lot his own back story. They proceed to talk about how the gem in his armor’s chest plate is made of talmadge, which is made from a dragon’s heart that Lot had once killed.

Sir Laser Lot agrees and feels the guilt about letting King Grayskull fall.  While chatting he walks over to the sacred skull as a series of strange voices fill the room. Then from out of nowhere a vortex opens from the sacred skull and instantly the room is filled with unspeakable evil.

Whoa! What in the hell just happened? Sir Laser Lot? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I know Johns said he created this character when he was little and MOTU characters are notorious corny names but this is bad, really, really bad.  So save your pennies because Mattle said that they’re going to make Sir Laser Lot a toy.

But in typical DC fashion they made Johns the jump off write to get peoples interests so don’t expect to see him on issue two. Not sure if he’ll be around for the print one, I’m guessing not. Howard Porter’s art isn’t too bad but it just looks and feels rushed. Regardless the best artist in the world couldn’t save this slop.

I could be a little too close to the source material and blinded by my fanboy-ness thus making my review a little one sided but this is an AMAZING property that could be ushered in revamped cool and fresh and this is what you give us!!?

On a related note, this story will be tied into the upcoming print comic He-Man and the Masters of the Universe that will hopefully (better) make a better impression than this.

Score: 1/5

Writer: Geoff Johns Artist: Howard Porter Publisher: DC Comics Price: $.99 Release Date: 06/23/12