Gather around my faithful comic readers. I have a love story to tell you. It is a great love story, one for the ages. Onc that was so powerful that all the land knew of it and everyone who heard of it would be moved to tears. This is the tale of the unstoppable love between She Devil with a Sword, Red Sonja and her hulking husband, a man named Malek. Yes, you heard this right. Red Sonja was married. Not only that, she was married to a goon of a man who also isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

So goes what we read as we page through Red Sonja #0. On the surface, we have the aforementioned love story. But what we end up with is that things might not exactly be as they would appear to be. Things are a little complicated to say the least and it looks like the She Devil herself may be the one who is left in the dark for much of this issue. Of course, she is supposed to have been dead, so she would naturally be in the dark.

I can't remember describing anything regarding Red Sonja as "cute". but that is what this #0 issue is. It is cute. A little bit weird. A lot, confusing, but cute. As it turns out, Sonja has been at sea for some time and while gone, this man named Malek decided to take advantage of that. He has laid the claim that he and Sonja were married. But theirs is a love that was cut way to short by Sonja's demise. Since then, Malek has run up and down the countryside telling the world of their love that can't die, even if Sonja herself is indeed dead. Malek has been living quite large as a widower, accepting the benefits that are associated with the taming of Red Sonja and her wild heart.

Truth... Malek knew Sonja and was madly in love with her. Unfortunately, his romanticism was more of the grope and bang your lady over the head with a club style. Which in Red Sonja's case, is probably not the best way to try to seduce her. He never had a chance.

She has now returned and begins to put the pieces together while exposing Malek for the freeloading oaf that he truly is. But though Malek must face the consequences of his actions, he still has an opportunity to redeem himself as well, making for a "cute" tale penned by one Gail Simone and drawn by Noah Solonga.

I must say that this could be the most unique tales that I have ever seen regarding Red Sonja as we see her in a light that we have never really seen her in before, whether it is real or imaginary. We see her in love... kind of. Simone writes this one with a healthy balance of comedy and action, that wraps up with a nice whipped cream topping outcome that I will not divulge here. All in all, it is a satisfying desert to a series that has been a full on meal for months on end.

Solonga's art is respectable and also ebbs and flows with the comedic and action elements that hit through the issue. He totally nails Malek to be what he is and it is real funny to view the drawn character in his oaf like goofiness, yet also in his powerful lover role as well.

Like any dessert though, it is just that. This is nowhere near the best Red Sonja I have seen by Gail Simone. But it is satisfying with some sugary sweetness. And it definitely has a better feel than the Legends of Red Sonja stories that simply have not captured my imagination. But, this story is just that. dessert. Not bad to pass by, but I need more subsistence in my meals.

Score: 3/5

Writer: Gail Simone Artist: Noah Solonga Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment Price: $3.99 Release Date: 7/30/14 Format: Ongoing; Print/Digital