Sexcastle is probably the greatest thing ever. In fact they should just put that quote on the cover and for the name under the quote just put “everyone whose read the book.” Because that’s what you’ll say when you read it, “it’s probably the greatest thing ever.” The only reason you’ll say “probably” is because you’ll hate yourself and everyone around you for not thinking of it first.

Kyle Starks is a goddamn genius.

That’s the second thing you’ll say.

Sexcastle is actually really, really easy to sum up. It’s the culmination of every great action and martial arts movie (focusing on the 70s to 90s) wrapped up into one world. That’s like all I want to tell you about it which is more than I knew going into it. Seriously, that’s the end of my summary for this 200 or so pages of this book. 200 pages. 22 words to sum it up.

If you’ve heard any hype about this book than believe it. I’m not joking about its genius. It puts all action movies to shame with its amazingness. Shane Sexcastle is my character of the year. He’s hilarious with his non-stop one-liners. Everything out of his mouth is over the top and awesome. At one point in the story a raised truck that could be confused for a monster truck pulls up and he says,

“Shhhhhh. Can you hear that?”

“What does it sound like?”

“Dicks. Itty. Bitty. Dicks.”

Fucking hilarious. I laughed my dick off, but then Starks followed it up with Shane giving a young boy some advice when he wouldn’t stop crying. I won’t ruin that joke for you, but it shows what to expect from Sexcastle… for it to top itself. With. Every. Single. Page.

The art 100% fits the story. It’s in all black and white and thank god for that. Color would have ruined this amazing piece of work. Instead it’s all grey scale with thick linework and soft details. Starks doesn’t go crazy with the detail because he doesn’t need to. Honestly the art reminded me of a young adult graphic novel. I don’t know if Sexcastle qualifies as a young adult graphic novel, but maybe it should I learned a lot about myself and stuff… Ah who am I kidding I laughed. I laughed and laughed some more and I made the mistake of reading this in bed while my wife was sleeping and had to leave the damn room.

It’s the funniest comic book I’ve ever read and I trust me I do not say that lightly. It takes a lot to get that belt, but Sexcastle is definitely the current reigning champ.

I want nothing more than to tell you everything about this graphic novel. I want to spoil every page, every line of dialogue, I want nothing more than to enjoy this comic with others. Don’t just pre-order it, but pay the money now. Go to your comic book store and give them $15.99 and say “keep the change.” I mean you’ll probably owe tax, but I don’t know where you live so I can’t tell you how much that will be. The point is you don’t need to debate over this one, just outright buy it. You won’t regret it.

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Score: 20/5 (Yes I broke the scale, but when you read this book you'll know why and agree)

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Sexcastle Writer/Artist/Creator: Kyle Starks Publisher: Image Comics Price: $15.99 Release Date: 3/18/15 Format: OGN; Print

You can also hear me be giddy as a school boy about Sexcastle on our comic book podcast the CBMFP