By Dustin Cabeal

As a lifelong fan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, most people expect me to be tired of the franchise or, worse yet, hate every new iteration of the franchise. And while I have been that person for other franchises, I have found it to be a waste of energy and passion. There is, in fact, only one iteration of the TMNT that I have not enjoyed or consumed, and that was the terrible Michael Bay live-action films. There was no greater joy for me than the sequel succeeding in ending the live-action reboot. The one lasting effect that the Bay live-action films have had is the infusion of hip-hop into the franchise, or rather, a more mainstream approach to hip-hop/rap, having moved away from songs about the Turtles or Ninjas… for the most part.

To get it out of the way, I just love the Ninja Turtles. I love seeing what they’ll do with them, how they’ll tweak them and change them, and for some reason, it doesn't corrupt my childhood memories of the animated series and pretending to be Donatello with my three friends making out the rest of the Turtles. It was an amazing feeling to watch this new version with my sons and see them enjoy what’s already their second Ninja Turtle franchise.

There are a lot of comparisons to this film being at least visually inspired by the Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse series of movies, which really misses the mark since nearly the same team behind those did The Mitchells vs The Machines, and that is directed by the same person as this movie, Jeff Rowe. Rowe’s style here is much closer to what Mitchells looked like and continues to evolve and change for each project he works on.

My family and I enjoyed the ever-loving crap out of The Mitchells, and even after my youngest latched onto it and watched it for a month straight, I still found that the deep story beats resonated and invoked emotions out of me, even after losing track of my viewing count. I bring this up because usually TMNT movies are about the Turtles fighting from the shadows and defeating whichever bad guy was picked out for that reboot. While this TMNT is about teenagers trying to find their acceptance and freedom in the world. They’re not heroes or even looking to become heroes at the start of the film, but this emotional journey makes this iteration perhaps the most relatable they’ve ever been.

One thing I will say is that the origin story for Master Splinter continues to get worse and worse. Rise of the TMNT saw him as a gross short rat that was once a Kung Fu movie star running from his destiny of preventing the Shredder from being assembled. He was a lazy teacher, but he at least had a martial arts background… not a ninja one, and he had no reason to name the Turtles after Renaissance artists, but it was still better than this version. Splinter, who I’m not even sure is called Splinter in the movie, is voiced by Jackie Chan and was just a rat looking for a friend and acceptance in the world. He stumbled upon the mutating Turtles and mutated himself into a frankly disturbing-to-look-at Rat man with hairy arms and an Afro. He’s like a weird dad more than anything. He takes the Turtles up into the human world and is chased away and called a rat-man, and so now he’s very much against the existence of humans. He teaches the Turtles martial arts from movies and interview videos, and frankly, this was the dumbest part of the story. Not only were there clips of Chan’s movies sprinkled in every third clip, but it made it even less likely that this rat and four turtles would have any martial/ninja skills or access to weapons.

The Turtles' path becomes crossed with April O’Neil, who has also been reimagined as a high school teenager. I saw all the ridiculous hate that her character received, and frankly, this version works in this movie, and as far as a supporting role, it’s the best she’s been since the first live-action film, if not better. Eventually, they befriend each other, and the Turtles' goal is to stop the villain Super Fly and be publicly accepted as heroes and loved by humans so that they can go to High School.

Super Fly is where the movie starts, and once again the franchise has reimagined Baxter Stockman, this time as a runaway scientist from TCRI who has mutated a Fly and others. Baxter is captured/possibly killed during the opening, but Super Fly is his son and takes his siblings and raises them in parallel to the Turtles. Superfly is stealing equipment, and it doesn’t take a lifelong TMNT fan to figure out that he’s likely trying to mutate something.

One key difference is the mutants that are introduced in Super Fly’s family, all of which are reimagined classics from the TMNT franchise. They all have relatively small roles in the film, but they’re used not only to drive the story forward but also in new ways. They start off as villains, but when the Turtles turn on them, they quickly turn into reluctant villains, and by the end of the movie, they’ve redeemed themselves and become heroes alongside the Turtles.

Along with the heart-to-heart moments, there is a ton of comedy. Jokes that kids can laugh at, but then also jokes that adults will understand and laugh at more. The audience I saw it with was divided into older turtle fans and families, and it was interesting to see what each group laughed at. I was surprised by some of the swearing and subject matter that made it into the PG film. Paramount must have caught the ratings board on a lack day or something else that I could very easily allude to involving money.

Which brings me to the music, which is almost entirely 90s rap and Hip Hop… that is not appropriate for kids. I mean, I laughed when I heard ODB’s "Shimmy Shimmy Ya," but at the same time, I didn’t feel like a song about having unprotected sex was appropriate for a PG film. Another example is the song "No Diggity," which is about protecting yourself during sex. Hell, they can’t even stay on message with the music. Now granted, they keep both songs as clean as possible, but again, I wonder how this qualifies it as a PG movie. I don’t particularly care about ratings, but I find that when they’re broken and hypocritical, it should be pointed out, and that the movie industry can basically police themselves at this point, and we don’t need an out-of-touch group pretending to be child- and parent-focused, lying about ratings. Also, at no point did this feel like a PG film, which should be pointed out as well.

Overall, this is a solid reboot of the franchise, and I really lose track of how many times they’ve been rebooted, but somehow, they manage to continue on and reintroduce this once-in-a-lifetime concept to new audiences. With a sequel and two seasons of a television series already greenlit, I hope that this version will at least stick around a little longer than the poorly timed Rise of the TMNT, which seemed like an unfortunate victim of Covid. The heart of the Turtles and their personalities remain mostly the same here. Your favorite will still be your favorite, but you may add a new mutant to your favorite pool, which is something that hasn’t happened since the original cartoon.

Score: 4/5

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
Paramount/Nickelodeon Films