Review: The X-Files Conspiracy: Ghostbusters #1

The Lone Gunmen use fake press credentials to sneak into the firehouse headquarters of the Ghostbusters to investigate the team for being frauds.  While there, the trio unwittingly releases a nasty class-five free roaming vapor.  Hilarity ensues as the two groups cross over to track the free ghost, spout conspiracy theories laced with the latest science, and slow cook French waffles over the engine block of a 52nd street hooker’s broken down Cutlass Sierra. Sorry, the last part about the waffles was made up.  I tried to be as serious as possible with this review, but my mood shifted fast.  First, the major IDW license crossover doesn’t deal with Mulder and Scully, but the Lone Gunmen.  While I like those guys and watched their spinoff ravenously, they are out of place dealing with Transformers, Ghostbusters, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

What’s worse is that people will see X-Files and think Mulder and Scully.  Clever marketing ploys hide the fact that Chris Carter probably shit his surfboard knowing that his iconic duo would be transformed, slimed, or shredded.  So IDW plops down these guys and tricks any unsuspecting fans.

XFiless_GB01_cvrAAdditionally, I still have a bone of contention with the whole Ghostbusters premise.  Ghosts are the disembodied spirits of people forced to exist in this plane of existence until something intervenes and allows them to pass on.  So why the hell do all the ghosts in Ghostbusters comics look like monsters?  Seriously, the pink tyrannosaurus rex with a huge mouth and a mouth on the belly was the ghost of no human being.  Well, maybe Chris Christie. I know, the demon dogs in the film where monsters—but they were never ghosts.  They were transdimensional creatures under the control of Gozer.

Also, when the Lone Gunmen release the ghost, the Ghostbusters allow them to tag along to recapture it.  Wouldn’t the logical step be to get the civilians out of the area so as to engage the entity?

For fuck’s sake.  This is the lamest concept execution since Bob Villa did the traveling ice show version of This Old House.   At least Salvador Navarro’s art does a great job of capturing the likeness of The Lone Gunmen.  For his work under duress of dealing with such shit of a concept, I give this book a 2 out of 5.  Who runs IDW and allows this to happen?  Someone in an executive board room thought this was a great idea?  This is why the comic industry will never rise higher.  No one applies even a scintilla of common sense to the source material.

Score: 2/5

Writer: Erik Burnham Artist: Salvador Navarro Publisher: IDW Publishing Price: $3.99 Release Date: 1/22/14