Written by Guest Contributor: Jefferey Pinkos The Annie trailer is out! Wait. Hold up. That doesn’t sound right. (Hey, Dustin, buddy, are we sure we’re covering this? We are? You know there really isn’t much overlap between our readership and the fandom of uplifting children’s musicals. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And how much is Jay-Z paying you? Nothing, you say. Mmhm.) Back, guys. But, yeah, Annie!

There are songs! With backbeats! Jaime Foxx is there. I like him. Quvenzhané Wallis seems…fine. As does Cameron Diaz. And…Rose Byrne…who was good in Bridesmaids. IMDB says that Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is there and he’s always a hoot and a half. Sorry, bros and ladybros, this is not my wheelhouse.

Frankly, it comes off a little contrived. I mean, “Sometimes what you’re looking for is right in front of your face”? Preachy! But I’m not shitting on it. Like, I’m really, really trying! It’s not something I would seek out, personally. I mean, Depression-era cutesy? What kind of madman would advertise that here? (What’s that, Dustin? Uh-huh. Both my knees? Okay. On it, chief.) Welcome to the dawning of a new America! Annie!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=869sl8a8OUk