Review: Cross Ange - Episode 1

This show somehow ruined the high concept mechs fighting dragons. Yes, that's right, there is a way to ruin giant robots fighting large dragons. It all starts with mecha fighting dragons. Sadly the fight is a bit over done in 3D animation that would have been amazing to look at a decade plus ago but is really just out of place with the rest of the animation. For good measure we get a few random ass shots of the main character while she fights the dragons, to illustrate her strength and poise under pressure. The dragons are defeated and the day is saved.

Flash back to a few months ago, Angelize (or Ange, aka our main character) is playing lacrosse and is bad ass at it. She is so great that not only is her team cheering her on, but her opponents are saying how amazing and spectacular she is. With both sides right behind her, she wins the game and the peasants rejoice.

Besides most excellent lacrosse skills, Ange is also a princess. Tomorrow is the day she will be crowned Princess Awesome Pants and be given a real voice in the politics of her society. On her way back home she runs across a crowd that are in panic. Since they must not have seen her impressive lacrosse game she goes to investigate.

A small child is being imprisoned by a squad of police/military goons while holding back a crying and frantic mother. Ange, being the voice of the people and rationality, explains to her handmaiden (and the audience) the toddler is a norma, an inhuman beast who can't use magic thus meaning they need to be shunted away from awesomeville. Now, Ange is a compassionate woman. So she goes up to the grieving mother and tells her that maybe she can have another child and get it right this time.

IĀ  must stop the plot summary and mention this important fact. All normas are female. Probably because men can't wear the thongs and ass-less pants required to fight dragons. Now back to this thing we call plot, already in progress.

That night Ange is narrating why all the normas should be just killed outright instead of the humane treatment they get now, being taken from their homes forever. Just as she is about to go full Hitler, her mother shows up, half naked in white. The two have a bonding moment, and besides the outfit choice, is probably the most humane any character comes off in this episode. We get to the big day finally and Ange's brother pops up, reveals that Ange is a norma and his despicable parents (the king and queen) have been hiding it. Ange escapes thanks to mom, mom is killed, and Ange is sent off to loserville. The brother takes time to give an evil villain speech about repopulating the royal blood line with her. It is super super creepy and beyond creepiness adds nothing to the plot.

Ange continues to bitch and moan about being royalty even though she is a prisoner. She is bound and verbally assaulted. Then some other random woman shows up, smacks her around, strips her, and shoves some kind of tube up her ass. According to Wikipedia, it is done to implant her with devices and such she will need to work mechs and fight dragons. Why we needed to see her get stripped and implanted is beyond me. And why the camera had to be angled in the same fashion it would for a porno, taking time to linger on her exposed curves further escapes me. We end with Ange on the floor naked covered in bruises and cuts crying. The montage of other women is shown, most of them are half or completely naked and none of them seem to be happy about it. Finally the credits roll.

So in summary, the main character is perfect in every way, but also annoying, bratty, and genocidal. The animation is okay at best. The plot is nearly random in its delivery, yet still allows for a few gratuitous shots. The villain is skeevy, plotting an incestuous affair at best and rape at worst. And it ends with the main character we have absolutely no reason to sympathize with being humiliated and objectified in as sexy of a manner as possible.

Just avoid this show. It is trash. There are better shows with mechs. There are better shows with dragons. There are better shows with ass less pants. Have some respect for yourself and go watch any of those instead.

Score: 1/5

Studio: Sunrise