The first issue didn’t win me over much. I didn’t hate it, but at this point in my life I’ve read enough of Mark Millar’s stuff to know how this is going to go. And it does that. Eighty percent of this issue is spent with Roscoe, his girlfriend and his friend basically just fucking around. No exaggeration. There are two moments of revenge as Roscoe comes and fucks over his former boss and mentor. It could have been great except for the fact that the speed is never shown. I don’t know if this was something that Duncan Fegredo chose on his own or if Mark Millar was involved in the decision, but it sucks. I’m not saying that there needs to be lightning bolts or some other comic book cliché, but when you represent the super speed with jumps cuts alone… it’s boring to look at and doesn’t translate.

I honestly thought it was going to be more like what Steve had suggested on our podcast and that they were actually manipulating time, but then they show them running. Even then it’s a still frame, no trail of dust or anything like that. They run, but it doesn’t affect anything around them unless it’s convenient to the story. Their clothing is also perfectly fine and never affected by the insane speed they’re supposedly traveling at. The extremely strange part to me is that for the most part they look like they’re walking and yet we’re told they travel from L.A. to N.Y. in four hours. I just think that the way it’s shown makes it seem like they’re still experiencing normal time, just that everyone else isn’t. I would be pretty bored running that far if I experienced everything in real-time and was the only one. That's just another problem with the super speed in this story, it's not consistently represented.

They also stop at a fucking Taco Bell and have one of everything on the menu. If this is an indication of their appetite due to the speed it’s never properly addressed. And did they make the food because I doubt they would wait and it’s not like Taco Bell has one of everything on the menu still chillin’ waiting for super speed douchebags to come by.

The other super annoying thing is that Roscoe has had some time on the junk, but his girlfriend instantly knows how go at normal speed to beat up some gang bangers and boast about it. Here’s my problem, this book loves its detailed expositions describing everything that the characters are doing and experiencing and yet it doesn’t explain how they’re able to go at a normal speed while still under the effects of the pills.

Another super shitty thing is that the issue ends with practically the same cliffhanger! And it was already obvious in the first issue so it didn’t need to be teased again.

There was one thing I want to point out about the story, it's not so much what happens here, but here it's going. It's obvious that Roscoe's friend is the one that actually set him up to be with his girlfriend... it's painfully obvious and just lame storytelling. It's the oldest trick in the book for crime stories and its never interesting. You can do better Millar... well you used to be able to do better.

I’m bagging on this book because it’s all about super speed and yet it reads at a snail’s pace. If you’re going to make a book about super speed that needs to come across on the page and again I’m not talking lightning bolts or paper’s flying off the desk. There’s many ways to show super speed, but this comic chose to make jump cuts. Moving the character from one frame to the next is how a comic normally reads… so it’s not special when that’s how you represent speed.

MPH is boring. It’s a boring fucking book and if you think I didn’t tell you anything about the issue I’ve actually told you everything. Roscoe’s revenge, his girlfriend’s revenge, the trio running, stupid ass cliffhanger… that’s the entire issue; that and more of Millar thinking that he’s writing unique and interesting dialogue, when it’s actually trite. Pure fucking trite and that’s why there’s four covers, to squeeze as much money from fans as possible before they figure it out for themselves.

Score: 1/5

Writer: Mark Millar Artist: Duncan Fegredo Publisher: Image Comics Price: $2.99 Release Date: 6/18/14 Format: Mini-Series, Print/Digital