We all know that there are comic book movies based on comics but what if there were comics based on a comic book movie? In that comic you could have the actors that play heroes in their movie be heroes in real life. Wouldn’t that be crazy… wouldn’t it? September 11th 2001, a young Chris loses his father in the attacks. Cut to the present and adult Chris is the Olympian, a super powered individual and leader of the Olympians; a super hero team that protects the planet in a Marvel’s Averger-ish way. As they battle the evil entity known as the Brainchild and his Devastator machines, we soon see that this is nothing but a summer block buster from Hollywood named the Olympians: Devastation.

On Hollywood Blvd tons of press and media sit outside of Grauman’s Chinese Theater for the red carpet premiere of the latest comic book movie. An entertainment reporter for CNN is covering the moving and giving a load of exposition for our cast. As she does, the movie’s cast linger around the theater while deciding on which after party they should attended and we are treated to more examples of the cast and their personalities. But before anything can happen, the theater is attacked by a swarm of real life Devastators. They begin to obliterate everyone and everything.

As the Olympian cast flees frantically they are teleported to an empty room. They open the door to see that they are no longer in the same theater. As they try to figure out what’s going on, their host appears and explains everything.

First off the good, the art is great.  Hitch’s art has always been his strong suit. I do understand that this is his first time writing his own story and doing the art. That being said the idea for me and me alone is completely stupid and the reasoning is completely lost on me. Okay so actors being forced to play heroes because some asshole saw them in a movie and that he could pass them off as a threat to whomever or whatever is trying to kick his ass?  My question is, if you have that kind of power, talent or tech than why not create a weapon or leave the planet that’s being attacked or get something or someone else besides actors that have the personalities of the ripest twats ever. I mean it, they all suck. There’s is no likable quality to any of them. They are pompous, self-righteous, typical Hollywood shitheads. It’s really hard to cheer for them let alone hope that they make it out alive.  As for Chris, the only one who doesn’t seem to be completely annoying but one thing is for sure he doesn’t get a free “cool guy” pass because his father was a hero that died in 9/11. I’m also still not sure why it had to be 9/11. Firefighters are heroes on all occasions not just in tragic events. It felt tacky and unnecessary to add that event in hope to gain favor.

Basically Real Heroes has great art work but the story needs a lot of work and explanation.  Sure a lot of my grips could be solved and answered in the second issue. My guess is that they’re going to grow out of their selfish ass-face traits as they go on their epic quest and become better people. Or maybe they’ll all die horrible deaths.  Too bad I won’t be around to see any of it.

Score: 1/5

Writer/Artist: Bryan Hitch Publisher: Image Comics/The Hitch Factory Price: $3.99 Release Date: 3/26/14