By Dustin Cabeal

Never thought I’d be here again, reviewing Seven to Eternity, but it was a busy week, and none of the other reviewers picked it up. Everyone is going to wish that they did because I’ve never been a fan of this series and this issue didn’t make me one.

After the last issue, we just pick up with our group of Seven Samurai… sorry, our Magnificent Seven… wait that’s the same thing, the fellowship of… damn. Anyway, these seven people that could be easily dropped into a parallel universe featuring the X-Men start their journey of taking the Mud King to his future prison or something volcanic.

There’s a lot of talking in this issue which is needed since the reader doesn’t know dick about any of these characters. They all seem very familiar with each other for the most part as none of the conversations between the six, plus our main character, come across as new or unfamiliar. I guess when everyone knows all about your family already it makes conversations easy. There’s a bit of a conflict towards the center of the issue, and it’s the first bad omen for this group. It’s a strange scene, to say the least, but not because of the art, but rather how quickly it’s all over with once it's started.

They for some reason ungag the Mud King… you know, the guy that can whisper into your ear and get you to bend to his will. Brilliant idea guys and gals, brilliant. Then there’s the fact that they do the opposite of what he says and tell him that they’re doing the opposite of what he says… like he won’t be able to use that against them later on.

Remender’s writing is just typical Remender. The dialogue flows nicely, but for the most part, the story is transparent. This is just Seven Samurai with mutants on a Lord of the Rings journey, and nothing is particularly fresh or interesting. The concept of one family standing against the Mud King is cool, but there hasn’t been much built around it to support that. It’s not my story, nor my desire to say what could have been added to this to build around that idea rather than making it a scapegoat for conversations that run dry.

The art is beautiful, but it’s still stiff. There’s no life in these pages. There are still images that lack any sense of movement. They don’t sing off the page rather exists solely on the page. The scene with conflict is the best segment, but only because it becomes trippy in an art history type of way. Even then, it didn’t come off the page but felt like still-life art. The designs are still impressive, but it’s just not enough to make the world look real while reading.

I’m sure for some this story is amazing, and I’m not taking anything away from anyone’s individual experience, but given the caliber of talent on this title, the story should be epic. The art should be the biggest buzz of the industry, and yet it’s not. Because at its core, it’s just The Lord of the Rings: Starring The X-Men. At the very least, I didn’t hate it while reading it, but I wasn’t entertained either.

Score: 3/5

Seven to Eternity #5
Writer: Rick Remender
Artist: Jerome Opeña
Colorist: Matt Hollingsworth
Letterer: Rus Wooton
Publisher: Image Comics