Review: The Illegitimates #4

I’m going to see this series through to the end; it’s just something I’m reading now. It’s not good, but it’s not terrible either. It’s just one of those unique stories that really can only exist as a comic book even though it’s trying really hard to write its script for a movie at the same time. The problem is that if it were a movie you’d have the same problems as this comic book. The first issue took the time to set up the father’s existence, our James Bond character and because of that he’s far more interesting than the rest of the story which has been setting up his children and nemesis. None of which are even a fraction of interesting. This issue dives into the deep end of the wacky James Bond pool as the bad guy’s plot is revealed along with his ridiculous base of operation. Really this issue is closer to a bad episode of James Bond Jr. than it is James Bond.

The kids all get into revealing swimwear and head out to an oil rig. Two of the dudes check out their half-sister’s ass and then it hit me… none of them are related. It really does seem like this story is moving towards a twist and so that’s my guess, that the James Bond guy was shooting blanks and Ms. Heatherpence is actually the one behind everything. Just my guess, but with one of the “kids” seemingly acting like a double agent it would make sense to me. That and none of them look anything alike which could just be the art, but I think it’s more than that.

Illigitamates04-cvrThe rest of the story is spent introducing the bad guys plan and revealing where the four remaining mommies are. Oh and the double agent thing is probably true, but only because Olympus is compromised and so the “double agent” is probably just the goodiest of the goodies.

The pacing of the story is the same and works for the story. The dialogue continues to be flat and stiff at times. Even the when the brothers were checking out their sister’s ass it came off like bad actors delivering lines even they didn’t believe in. It would have been creepy and funny had the series taken any amount of time to build their relationships as a family. There just isn’t any room in the plot, but if for some reason this becomes an ongoing or picks up a second series that should be its first and only priority.

The art is still very good and hammers out the cheesecake. If you want hot women to look at the issue has you covered; you want hot men? Covered. The art is definitely entertaining and the main reason I stick with this story; more for the action than the cheese and beefcake, but it’s at least something to stare at when the talking starts.

At this point this series is what it is. It’s not going to change course and suddenly get better; all we can hope for is that the twist ending will be worth it. I enjoyed the hell out of the first issue and with a little luck maybe the series can close out on that same high note, but if not… I won’t be surprised.

Score: 3/5

Writers: Marc Andreyko and Taran Killam Artist: Kevin Sharpe Publisher: IDW Publishing Price: $3.99 Release Date: 3/19/14