Spoil It For Me! Release Week 7/9/14

Well the day for comics have come and gone meaning you’ve likely bought and read everything that you’re likely to get this week. But what happened in the books you didn’t read? Well in our new feature Spoil It For Me, I’ll be giving you the bottom line of each comic book I read this week, even if I’ve already reviewed it. The point being there will be spoilers because I’m going to try to give you that one scene, that one point in the comic that made it worth reading. That one spoiler. You’ll find some surprises for sure because believe it or not… there’s some Marvel and DC on this list! Shocking. Let’s go!

Grayson #1 He’s a double agent. The people he’s working for are hiding their identities while trying to figure out the superheroes identities. They know Bruce Wayne is Batman and Vic Stone is Cyborg. It was a good issue.

Spider-Man 2099 #1 Someone from the future tries to kill Miguel and he makes them kill themselves. One of his bosses’ figures out he works in the building… they’re also probably going to do the nasty. It was a funny damn issue.

Armor Hunters #2 The armor is a virus and slowly replaces the wearer with itself. Livewire broke the connection on X-O’s suit so he’s cool, but now she might be infected. The Hunters don’t give a shit and try to kill Aric’s people. He’s pissed. Another great issue.

Chastity #1 She gets killed and talks about disappointing her family a lot. Also she’s the reason her family gets killed. Skip this book it sucked and we all know she becomes a vampire that hunts vampires.

Zombie Tramp #1 Janey kills a lot of pervs and practices her human form. Also Elvis is a zombie pimp.

Spread #1 it’s Lone Wolf and Cub meets The Thing, at no point is that an exaggeration. It’s awesome and the baby’s tears kill the monsters. There’s a dude controlling the monsters or something. Great first issue.

New Suicide Squad #1 Some asshole is put in charge of Task Force X and he fills the same role twice. Deathstroke is out of character and the Joker’s Daughter is brought in and not really explained. A lot of faces are punched causing exploding heads… it wasn’t very good.

Death Vigil #1 The Grim Reaper has a posse and she’s a lady. They’re fighting a war and they’re losing Reapers and their tools. Someone’s targeting them and needs six more tools for some reason. Probably the best first issue I’ve read this week.

Rai #3 Rai ain’t dead and his mom is the dead woman who started the entire story. Also he’s not the first Rai and every time the current Rai finds out he goes crazy and kills people. There’s also two Silks. The original and one of his copies. Good issue, bad art in my opinion.

Red City #2 We meet the lady on the cover, there’s a chase scene straight out of T2. They stop an assassination because one side feels their people will be slaughtered if the treated is signed. Not a lot happens… more talking.

Thomas Alsop #2 Thomas isn’t a fuck up. He kills a ghost that his father wanted gone. Also all of the spirits from 9/11 are still ghosts in the two towers which makes Thomas barf a lot. Great issue. Great. Issue. The best of the week.

Amazing Spider-Man: 100th Anniversary Special Eddie Brock is killed by the Kingpin and takes over the techno-spidey/venom suit. The rest of the issue is social commentary on technology until Peter makes fire and kills the suit and punches the Kingpin. He’s not with MJ and Aunt May is finally fucking dead. Terrible issue. The worst thing I read this week.

There you have it. Things have been spoiled so if you weren’t planning on reading these issues, well now you don’t have to. I’ll try to do this each week or at least for big weeks. If you have any requests let me know. After twelve issues I ran out of steam this week.