By Dustin Cabeal

If you could see my face right now as, I write this. Hatsukoi Monster had the worst first episode of any series I’ve ever watched. Though it was the standard twenty plus minutes of viewing, it felt like forty-five minutes. I even gave up on it once it was so choppy and stupid.

The premise is that a rich girl has moved cities for a fresh start and a place where she won’t simply be known as the “the rich girl.” She discovers a tall, beautiful man on her first day. He saves her from being hit by a car. She professes her love to him, and they start dating. She then finds out that this twenty-year-old looking dude is actually in elementary school. He also has two friends that are the same. There’s a lot of dick and fart jokes after that.

I wanted to laugh at the dick and fart jokes, but they were never funny, and the voice acting was pathetic. I was also severely burnt out on the show by that point. It was the most random sequence of events to happen together and no one stopped and used any logic. Good comedy has logic. Bad comedy spends more than half the episode setting up the premise and then dick and fart jokes. One day I’ll rewrite this show, put it on the internet for free because there’s a glimpse of potential to the story that is just shat on.