Review: Masou Gakuen HxH – E.01

At this point it almost seems as if there needs to be one really heavy-handed fan service show per season. That said, Masou Gakuen HxH is that show this season. I mean I knew just from the promo image it would be, but I had no idea to the extent it would go. Hell, Crunchyroll even has it uncensored so you can see all the nipply goodness that the show has to offer. Because that’s all it has to offer.

The premise to Masou Gakuen would make The Testament of Sister New Devil blush if that gives you any indication. If you liked either season of Sister New Devil (poorly translated by the way) then you’ll be happy to know that Masou Gakuen is from the same studio!

The story is seriously just a combination of The Testament of Sister New Devil and Sky Wizards Academy. That is to say, there’s CG aliens attacking the last remains of humanity and only three women having their breasts, butts and hey nows can save the day. It’s also I guess similar to Hundred which I hated last season, but clearly had a lot of fan service because the show did quite well in the ratings.

HxH-PromoAs for the actual episode… whoever put this fucker together clearly only cared about maximizing breast exposure. We open in the “love room” which is like a fucking holodeck for this dude to rub the girls down. We have zero context, just that when he goes for the booty it fills her suit and she goes back to fighting shitty looking CG aliens. Then it’s the next girls turn.

And then we flash back to the dude as a kid being told he’s useless by his sister… or mom. I don’t know. I don’t care. That rolls us into the beginning of the actual fucking story as he’s of course showing up for his first day of school after being contacted by his sister. Which, I guess it’s his sister even though she’s at least a two decades older than him in the flashback and hasn’t aged at all in the present day. We see all our main characters just walking around and shit and then there’s an attack on the school. Dude for some reason just keeps chilling where he is and watches the silver hair chick fight. She of course gets injured and he saves her. His sister calls him and tells him to get to rubbing. Did I mention there was a battle going on? He rubs and rubs and wouldn’t you know it, after he basically eats her out… fully charged suit! Oh, because the suits are some representation of the heart and of course the heart only wants to bang.

The animation is great of course. With the exception of the CG. The CG is just terrible and I don’t get why any show ever would do both. No one, and I mean no one wants both. People that watch animation will enjoy one or the other, but never both. I can say that definitively because a certain personality type watches animation past childhood and none of us what to see three meshing with two. The fan service is well done. This is the best non-hentai, hentai you’ll see.

Now as a straight white dude, I know it seems questionable that I would complain about a show that is purely fan service. Maybe Prison School and High School DxD has corrupted me into believing that you can actually have a story and fan service. I somewhat enjoyed the first season of The Testament of Sister New Devil, but the second season found a way to spend time rubbing girls than moving the story along which really killed the story for me. I couldn’t finish the season because of it and I figured if I wanted to just see the fan service part I would just find one of the many sites dedicated to showing you it all in its glorious uncensored version. I have zero expectations for this show. If I watch another episode it will be to see how much more it can get away with because there is no story. There’s not even a glimmer of a chance of a story here. And that’s too bad because as I pointed out, you can have story and fan service, you just have to be a talented creator and clearly that’s not the case here.

[su_box title="Score: 1/5; Fan Service: 5/5" style="glass" box_color="#8955ab" radius="6"]

Masou Gakuen HxH – E.01