Stupid Bastards: March 2013

Welcome to the "Stupid Bastards" monthly article where the writers of Comic Bastards come together and pick their worst or bad moments in the industry ranging from actual comic issues, to news and even the entertainment industry. Kick your shoes off and enjoy the read, but don't forget to check out the "Lucky Bastards" article prior to this.

Ed: The "M Word" Controversy

Of all the things to get worked up over, a well-intentioned but ham-fisted speech by a B-list superhero is amongst the most pointless. It's no fun to see my favorite message boards and twitter feed flooded by people rushing to take offence on one side and people saying offensive things on the other. Rick Remender's "hobo piss" response was like a red rag to a bull; come on people - we should all be rising above this crap.

Steve: DC Comics – WTF Year

Like most everyone reading this, I grew up on three things: pop rocks, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pies and DC Comics. The latter particularly instilled a healthy obsession within me that continues to this day ... or should I say yesterday? Don’t get me wrong, there remain a few books at DC that I simply refuse to give up, but mostly in the way that you’re still friends with that douchebag just because you’ve been friends with him for so long. Because of recent shake ups and unceremonious creator exits, I just find myself finally losing my faith in the brand, which really sucks.

With Andy Diggle leaving Action Comics (a title I was really looking forward to seeing him re-energize with artist Tony Daniel ... who has now also left the book), Joshua Hale Fialkov leaving his Green Lantern projects in the dark and the much ballyhooed comic kerfuffle that forced Chris Sprouse to leave anti-gay mouthpiece Orson Scott Card’s now-abandoned Adventures of Superman, it’s hard not to see DC as a big, fat fuck-up.

Thing is, it feels like DC just needs to sit down, rethink their general direction, admit that they’ve grown sloppy and do a bit of house cleaning. I do truly believe they can reestablish the foundations that made the New 52 so exciting, as well as reignite why I fell in love with the company in the first place. I really do. But these untimely, very public boners need to stop popping up all over the place, otherwise DC is just going to end up dry humping itself to death.

Samantha: Dredd 2 Not Happening

I was never a Dredd fan until this new movie came out. Now, I want more Dredd. Nothing more to say, but let us make this a cult classic so they will have to make a second.

Jordan: The Walking Dead Season Finale (Spoiler Warning)

For all the praise I have to sing of this season of The Walking Dead I have to say, what a goddamn disappointment of an ending! Are you kidding me?! We were teased all the way back at the end of season two with the prison, but we all knew what that really meant, The Governor. We were ready for a real villain in The Walking Dead and we were pumped when we got him. David Morrisey did a great job with a different yet still excellent take on the notorious villain, all season an all-out war between Rick and the Governor was held tantalizingly in front of our noses, and tension was expertly built. By the scene in the finale where the Gov. made his move I was literally sweating on my couch, the buildup, here is comes! Here it comes! annnddd—nothing, all that and The Governor just kind of says, “nah fuck this jazz” and were left feeling as used as a tissue crumpled up under the bed of a pent up teenager.

 Andrea dying?! That was your card?! Really?! I tell myself that that shit was an early April Fool’s joke some troll of a writer cooked up. So many of us jokingly talked about it, wished for it and they gave it to us. I had to actually laugh aloud during the whole bit, imagining the tongue held hard in the cheek of the writer as he wrote such a dramatic and fond farewell to such a terrible character. All fine. But robbing us of the battle, jacking us up with that terrifically badass bit with the Gatling gun and the rocket launchers, only to have the villain turn tail at the last second? Come on, that was just cheap.

Dustin: Angela Hanging Out With Ultron

Fuck this noise. I don't give a shit about the ending of Age of Ultron and I find this all incredibly dumb. It feels like what happened to DC back when they were on top of the comic game and started buying up all these characters from other companies just because they could. How did that turn out you ask? They had to reboot and now they're back in second place. I guess this is actually good news if you're a DC fan since in ten years Marvel will just have to do a full reboot to fix whatever other characters they decide to merge with the 616 Universe.

Matt: The TMNT Movie In General

This has just been the epitome of stupid. First, Michael Bay is in charge, which is bad enough, but then April O’Neil is being play by Megan Fox. Please, just shoot me. This is followed up by the Turtles being cast as every random ass actor under the sun, including an underwear model that played Aquaman on Smallville. I can tell you right now, I love the Turtles to death, but I am not going to waste my money to go see this crap. Please Hollywood; stop trying to destroy my childhood.