WTF? Caught In The Wild: Captain A-Town Headphones

I was walking through Best Buy and these pieces of shit caught my eye. What an ugly pair of headphones from some brand I've never heard of. I'm sure the quality of the sound is... you know I don't even have the mental capacity to make a lame Captain A-Town joke here so just make your own. Seriously DisMarvely is there anything you won't make... shitty?