Review: The Illegitimates #3

The series has definitely settled into its grove with this issue. I don’t see this series ever getting back to the high point that it reached with the first issue, but this issue was as good as the last issue. The problem is that the premise of the series is the problem. The “illegitimates” are in fact the weakest aspect of the story and yet the entire plot is centered on them. In this issue we find them on a field mission and of course they’re not getting along together. They botch the mission which turns out to be a VR simulator and get scolded by the General dude. Then in another cliché moment they’re pulled for their first field mission which goes as expected… crappy.

Leo and Saalinge go in to an event hosted by the bad guy, posed as a couple. The rest of the team is left in their roles as: sniper, driver and computers. Saalinge gets busted of course because it’s a set up and I’m pretty sure Leo gets a chip put on him which allows the bad guy to turn you into a mindless zombie. He attempts this at the party and ends up blowing out a couple of brains.

The cheese for this story was too much. They make jokes about their attempt at bad one-liners, the bad guy’s henchmen introduces himself with dialogue that makes no sense whatsoever and worst of all we’re stuck with two annoying kids as our leads. Not only are Leo and Saalinge terrible together in the comic, they’re terrible in general. Leo plays the hulking brute that’s been kept safe all his life, while Saalinge acts like the annoying lone wolf that won’t play with the team… the team she’s shackled with no matter what.

Illigitamates03-cvrSUBThe other problem is that none of them come off as siblings. I get that they don’t want to be and it crushed their world to learn that they’re real father had a bunch of other illegitimate kids, but we all know that the cliché of them coming together as a family is right around the corner. The problem with that is that they come off as just another team of people made up of strangers. There are no family bonds or attempts and I’m pretty sure Leo wants to bang his half-sister. I mean if this was a Luke and Leia deal that would be different, but it’s not; he knows that’s his half-sister. And really when did they all process their emotions on this matter? They’re acceptance level is extraordinary because none of them bring up or deal with the fact that they’re daddy was a man-whore.

The art is still pretty good, but it definitely struggles in places. It was particularly weak in crowd settings and anytime the kids were all together. The action was still very strong and hey exploding heads! Even though the villains are cheesy and intentionally at that, their design is still very strong. The twins were a fun addition to the story along with the menacing Pierce.

The problem with this series is that it’s either trying to be a cliché parody or it is a cliché parody. Now if it was a cliché parody they could still have fun with it like the first issue did. If it’s trying to be a cliché parody (which is what I suspect) then it’s stopped being a parody with this effort and is just a cliché. It’s a great premise, but again the central theme is the weakest and really the worst part of the entire story.

Score: 3/5

Writer: Marc Andreyko Artist: Taran Killam Publisher: IDW Publishing Price: $3.99 Release Date: 2/5/14