By Dustin Cabeal

"Hey... come in and sit down. Yeah, your mom and I need to have a talk with you... no, it's not about the marijuana in your nightstand or the dirty magazines under the bed, though I would question why you're wasting money on dirty magazines when we have the parental block turned off on the internet."

"No, it's about Lex Luthor/Porky Pig comic we found in your room..."

"There's nothing you can say that will explain this, so just stow it. It's bad enough that you have this weird Joker/Daffy Duck cover in which Daffy seems to be replacing Harley Quinn and is very aware that he's creepily drawn and has no pants. It's also strangely sexualized which is probably more indicative of the industry as a whole than you're weird ass tastes..."

"We're getting sidetracked though... what were you thinking getting this Sunday Evening Post monstrosity with Lex Luthor shaving Porky Pig? In what world is that not fucked up? I thought we raised you better than this... go to your room, we'll discuss your punishment later."