Another week another CBMFP! More movie news as Marvel green lights everything shitty and The Man with the Iron Fist from the Rza looks awesome. Comic wise, Star Trek and Doctor Who, Whispers, Masters of the Universe, BPRD, Hit-Girl, Resident Alien and more! Holy moly that’s a lot of comic talk!
For The Elegant Bastard: Marvel Polo's
Well if you're job doesn't care what Polo shirt you wear or you're just looking to let you're inner nerd out on casual Friday, then you should consider these classy Marvel Polo's. Over on Think Geek you can grab one and of course they've got all your favorite logo's from: The Avengers, Spider-Man, Captain America and the X-Men. What was less surprising was the fact that two of the shirts have sold out in XXL... stereotypes are fun huh?
Review: Masters of the Universe #1
When I was younger you’d be hard pressed to find a bigger fan of the Master of the Universe series. I had all of the toys and I mean ALL of them. I loved the cartoon movie, hell I even watched She-ra to get all the action I could. I saw the live action movie and even at that time my young moviegoer heart knew something was a mist. This can’t be THAT bad right? Fast forward to now and I’m reading a digital comic from DC written by big comic fancy man Geoff Johns—let’s go! On planet Eternia, centuries before Prince Adam; two brothers from a ravaged city of Tratvera are deep within the jungle running for their lives as a horde of beast men pursue them. With their backs against the wall one of the brothers attempts to make the sacrifice to hold off the monster to buy some time for the kids to escape. But the brothers agree that if they die they die together.
Before the beast can react, a man comes from the shadows with an electric mace that seamlessly smashes in the army of beasts. The brothers are now rescued by a knight that once served under the now deceased King Grayskull. Before a second army of best men make their way the hero takes the boys to his cave home.
As the boys settle in they instantly recognize the man as Sir Laser Lot (sigh). The brothers proceed to tell Laser Lot his own back story. They proceed to talk about how the gem in his armor’s chest plate is made of talmadge, which is made from a dragon’s heart that Lot had once killed.
Sir Laser Lot agrees and feels the guilt about letting King Grayskull fall. While chatting he walks over to the sacred skull as a series of strange voices fill the room. Then from out of nowhere a vortex opens from the sacred skull and instantly the room is filled with unspeakable evil.
Whoa! What in the hell just happened? Sir Laser Lot? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? I know Johns said he created this character when he was little and MOTU characters are notorious corny names but this is bad, really, really bad. So save your pennies because Mattle said that they’re going to make Sir Laser Lot a toy.
But in typical DC fashion they made Johns the jump off write to get peoples interests so don’t expect to see him on issue two. Not sure if he’ll be around for the print one, I’m guessing not. Howard Porter’s art isn’t too bad but it just looks and feels rushed. Regardless the best artist in the world couldn’t save this slop.
I could be a little too close to the source material and blinded by my fanboy-ness thus making my review a little one sided but this is an AMAZING property that could be ushered in revamped cool and fresh and this is what you give us!!?
On a related note, this story will be tied into the upcoming print comic He-Man and the Masters of the Universe that will hopefully (better) make a better impression than this.
Score: 1/5
Writer: Geoff Johns Artist: Howard Porter Publisher: DC Comics Price: $.99 Release Date: 06/23/12
Remember That Intense Scene With The Bat Bike From Dark Knight? This Is Better
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfgtEjjQnHQ Okay this video would have been a lot better if it was shorter and the editing was better. Also there is a super annoying "watch another video" ad right in the middle. It still gave me a chuckle though.
PR: Dark Horse's Lucky Trolls Hit July 25th... I'm The Only Bastard That Cares
I may be the only Bastard around here that cares about this, but fuck it I like Trolls and I don't care who knows it. It's probably because of Mom so go ahead and make fun of me... you jerks. From Dark Horse:
One of the greatest toy phenomena of all time has been Good Luck Trolls,originally created in 1959 by Danish fisherman and woodcutter Thomas Dam. At various times since the early 1960s these charming little dolls have been a top-selling toy, building a seldom-achieved brand equity and strong consumer response. After disappearing from the market for many years, Good Luck Trolls are set to return this year with a modern twist on their timeless charm.
Good Luck Trolls “mystery box” assortments are a new collectibles merchandise program by Dark Horse Comics under a license granted by Dam Things, who hold all rights to the works of Thomas Dam. The mystery box is being introduced to the market with an on-sale date of July 25.
Dark Horse sees Good Luck Trolls as a natural for the company’s designer vinyl line of toys, and has created variations of color and design to pique the interest of customers. The first collection offers up fifteen different versions of the figures in various colors and with unique surface treatments, including metallic, flocked, black-light sensitive, glitter, and glow-in-the-dark.
Dark Horse’s VP of Product Development, David Scroggy, notes, “When we considered developing Trolls for the first time, we were confident that they would resonate with our audience of pop culture fans and modern collectors. We have a good sense of our customers’ tastes, and are not afraid to commit to an under-the-radar property if we think that it is likely to be embraced by our young adult consumers.”
Mystery box (also known as “blind box”) trading figures are essentially the same product, varying in decoration and materials, and sold randomly out of sealed packages. Some of the figures are common to every counter display, whereas “chase” figures are much harder to come by. The ratio of availability is printed on each package, so the consumer knows the relative scarcity of the figure purchased.
Dark Horse has varied the hair color within the most common figures, so that there will be more variety and more fun for the collector. For example, half of the yellow-body figures in a 2/15 ratio will have blue hair; the others will have pink hair.
The Good Luck Trolls are presented in a counter display unit holding fifteen individual blind boxes. Each Troll is packaged in an opaque foil bag inside its box to prevent tampering or viewing prior to purchase.
Dark Horse has also created a one-time limited edition of 1,500 green-body Good Luck Trolls with snow-white hair that are sensitive to black light. They will be sold exclusively at the Dark Horse booth at Comic-Con International in San Diego, July 12–15, 2012.
Review: Mind MGMT #2
First of all, the front and back cover stories are becoming way too interesting! Matt Kindt needs a second pair of hands so that we can have one spin-off issue of just the history of Mind MGMT. I like this book still, but I am finding the constant chasing to be a bit dull. Hopefully that’ll be resolved in the next issue. This series surprises me by portraying human life as disposable, but at the same time sacred. It’s a strange balance that keeps your emotions in check, but queued up and ready to go at the same time. Meru finds herself driving a motorcycle with a CIA agent riding on the back. After almost losing their pursuers, they begin running away on foot after they crash the motorcycle. The “Immortals” as they’re called catch up to Meru and her handy-dandy CIA agent only for him to shoot one of them in the face. Meru instantly asks if they’re Zombies due to the fact that the man is still standing and alive. They begin running again and the agent explains that they’re not Zombies, but something possibly worse.
Meru and the agent manage to get free and board a plane to Zanzibar; little do they know that the “Immortals” are still a few rows behind biding their time. Once they land Meru has a strange case of Déjà vu which as we’re told by the narrator is his mental suggestion. He steers her away from the agent and up into a shop where she finds a woman typing endlessly on a type writer. The extremely long piece of paper gives Meru two clues, the first being her arrival to that place and the second is a clue on where to go to next.
There are two parts that are so fucked up they’re brilliant in this issue. When the narrator is describing Perrier and why she is typing it’s very intense and immersive. The way Perrier’s dialog reinforces what the narrator is saying is very smart and laces more elements into the story. The second part that was messed up I will not spoil, but it also involved Perrier and the entire page is like a moment in time. It was very powerful and disturbing at the same time.
Kindt’s art style is so perfect for the type of story he wants to tell. The facial expressions and scars on the characters have real weight to the scenes and give a true sense of what they’re going through. The one “Immortal” in particular has several scars and yet he looks and acts like he’s tired and just wants to quit. He’s so far gone mentally that he doesn't even try to hide his appearance by growing hair. This great balance between the story and art is part of the charm of this series.
Right now I feel a bit like Meru in the sense that I don’t know what’s going on in the story 100%, but the journey is very rewarding and keeps me hooked in. I’ve found with each issue of this series so far that I become so emerged in the story that I get frustrated when it ends and even the amazing cover stories can’t settle my mood. Nope there is only one cure and that’s reading more Mind MGMT.
Score: 4/5
Writer/Artist: Matt Kindt Publisher: Dark Horse Comics Price: $3.99 Release Date: 6/27/12
Review: Resident Alien #2
Alien stories tend to be a dime a dozen and the focus always ends up more about the tech, the travel and the design more than anything else. With Resident Alien, the creative team has managed to put a spin on the “crashed alien” storyline that not only is very interesting, but engaging at the same time. To break it down, an alien has crashed landed on our planet and disguised himself as a retired doctor. He’s ended up filling in as the doctor for the small town he lives in due to the murder of the old one. This issue gives us some back story as to how he got his start on the planet after crashing. He’s able to talk to our technology to disable it or at the very least have it help him. He starts off in a mall by gathering food, water and clothes; he seems to have a basic understanding of our culture already and what he needs to do to blend in. He grabs a laptop and hits the ATM giving himself 1,000 bucks to get started before he heads off into the world to wait for rescue.
In the present there has been a third gruesome murder that he’s been called to the scene of. The killer apparently was naked while he stabbed the victim, an old man who owned the banks of the town. He was hated by most, but as our Alien will find out… some more than others. After a routine health examine with one of the deceased doctor’s patient’s, our resident Alien heads to the library to piece the puzzle pieces together and basically solves the case of the naked murderer.
This is the story at its best; as good as the shorts were in DHP and as good as the first issue was this issue shines above them. The little bit of back story was great, but the developing story of the murder mystery and the possible reveal of our Doctor is very intriguing. The way the murder was revealed was perfectly paced and kept you interested in everything the Doctor was doing. Then in the same regard it made me wonder why he was doing it, why did he care? Has he in fact gone “native” as the character says in the book; personally I think this is to show his compassionate side and that he’s not a being to be feared due to his origins.
This second issue left me sitting on the edge of seat until next month so I can close out the story. I hope that people are checking it out so that it can possibly go on; the premise and the world built are massive. The alien craze of the 90’s may be over, but books like this can easily rejuvenate people’s interest. I can’t wait to see how it turns out and hopefully it leaves our character in a position to continue his story.
Score: 4/5
Writer: Peter Hogan
Artist: Steve Parkhouse
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Price: $3.99
Release Date: 6/27/12
Episode 35: Why'd You Have To Replace Cowabunga
Episode 35 already? Wow! This week Kevin continues his streak of original and exciting openings as we dive head first into everything Ninja Turtles related. We switch it up with some actual excitement about a comic book movie Dredd, even though we still don't like the poster. We also discuss the awesome new comic technology from DeepComix. This week's books that we discuss include Bendis' Spider-Man opus Spider-Men, Kevin dives into Before Watchmen: The Comedian#1. Midway through our Godzilla #2 chat we tackle how to fix Godzilla in the comics and then Kevin sets the stage for Whisper #3 out next week and end with Blood Blockade Battlefront #2 from Dark Horse Comics.
Episode 34: It's Kind Of Stupid, It's Really Stupid
This week we start early (maybe a little too early) and dig in with some dreams and Wildcats talk. Then we add some DC zero issue excitement. Marvel hit us with the Phoenix Force Five (The Phoenix Five) news! Comic book wise we chat about Dancer #2, Alpha Girl #3, Man of God #2, Bad Medicine and The Massive #1. Be sure to check out Punch Tab on Comic Bastards! It’s a little something that makes your CB adventure a little more rewarding!
Episode 33: Ya Gotta Shoot’em In The Head
They're coming to get you, Barbara-- in this CBMFP Special. This episode is all about the undead and you will NOT survive. Enjoy!
Episode 32: God I Hate Northridge
We tread dangerous waters this week as we talk about the first Green Lantern's sexuality, along with Northstar's wedding and why he's such a dickhead. It's a lengthy conversation that covers the hot button subject along with a few other issues that plague comic book fans. The books we talk about this week are X-Men Noir, Siegfried and Something Animal from Dustin's pile and from Kevin we get Mass Effect Homeworlds and Call of Wonderland #1. So jump aboard and swab the poop deck, arrgh!
