Review: Cave Carson Has A Cybernetic Eye - Swamp Thing #1

February 21, 2018

By Kelly Gaines

I used to think I was incredibly lucky in terms of friendship. I’ve always believed myself to be one of those fortunate few who have an infallible support system of loving companions who tough out the bad times and make the good times shine brighter. Turns out, I don’t know shit about friendship. Real friends risk life and limb to fight for your cause. Real friends warn you when alien psychos are about to force you to wear khakis. Real friends live in your stomach until the time comes for you to vomit them up so together you can save the world. Swamp Thing is a real friend. Swamp Thing should do a TED Talk.

Review: Shade the Changing Girl - Wonder Woman #1

February 14, 2018

By Kelly Gaines

I don’t really know where to begin here. All my years of studying literature and critical theory have not prepared me for this. I’ve seen Wonder Woman breastfeed a Dustbuster. I didn’t know that was something I should be afraid of experiencing- how could I? I find myself drawing on the distinct memory of the first time I saw Alice in Wonderland as a child. I was disturbed to my core by the fact that a little girl was lost in such a bizarre place and the adults she encountered seemed to be more dedicated to making it worse than helping. I had nightmares about the Queen of Hearts screaming “off with her head!” for weeks, and don’t get me started on the oyster story.

Review: Justice League of America/Doom Patrol #1

February 14, 2018

By Kelly Gaines

Justice League/ Doom Patrol #1 is the first chapter of the Milk Wars event; an event promised to be the “weirdest” thing that has ever happened to the DC universe. If you were a fan of My Chemical Romance in the early 2000’s, you now have something else to thank Gerard Way for. I’ve read interviews with Way over and over trying to piece together how it is that a rockstar walked into the DC office and said “hey, can I do whatever I want?” and was pretty much told “sure, go nuts.” I’ve decided I don’t care how it happened, I’m just extremely grateful that it did. This is something Way has said he’s wanted to do his whole life- becoming a rockstar was getting sidetracked. I don’t know what god you have to pray to for ‘rockstar’ to be the job you fall into while you’re working towards your dreams, but take me to that church.

Review: Mother Panic - Batman Special #1

February 7, 2018

By Kelly Gaines

I want to start off with the one thing that irritated me with Mother Panic - Batman #1. Maybe I never noticed it in Mother Panic, but I wish they’d use actual curse words instead of Violet losing her “@!*&&#$” mind. I’m going to lose my @!&&#$ mind over that. I’m starting with the negative because the rest of this review is going to be a long-winded fawning over Mother Panic as a title, followed by a serious appreciation for the adventure Mother Panic - Batman #1 sets up.