Austin Lanari 10/14/15 Austin Lanari 10/14/15

Review: Boruto: Naruto The Movie

Seeing Boruto: Naruto the Movie at NYCC with a room full of insane Naruto fans, after having the movie introduced by Kishimoto himself, is far and away the most exciting experience I've had at the movies ever. Burned out from two full days of commuting to the city super-early for NYCC, I got up slightly later than usual to catch a 9-ish train into the city, in order to get on line for Boruto at the Hammerstein Ballroom around 10:30. I knew the showing would be at 11:30, so there was no way I'd be first in line, but I'd probably beat all of the slackers underestimating how long the line was going to be.

Sure enough, the line was already too long to see the entrance to the ballroom. People had likely been filtering in since sunrise, or at least as long as they were allowed to stand there, since the first one hundred people in line got to attend a special signing with Kishimoto. I had thought about trying to make that, but there was talk of some people camping out for the opportunity, and one day, let alone two days of NYCC, makes my bed too tempting for any such shenanigans.

Okay, fine, I'll talk about the movie.

Boruto fucking rocked. It fucking rocked my face off. Everything about seeing that movie in the context of NYCC and the Kishimoto festivities was incredibly unique and supremely special for me as a fan of the series for roughly half of its fifteen year run. I can't even imagine what that all felt like to someone following the series longer than me, but regardless of who was following Naruto the longest, the crowd--mostly made up of early college and late high school folks--was so loud, so engaged, so much fun to watch the movie with that I completely forgot how much I absolutely hate people making noise during films.

Boruto is the story of Naruto's son, "Boruto," and the fact that he has to deal with his father's general absence from his life because of his duties as Hokage, head of the ninja village of Konoha. Kishimoto has always put a lot of himself into Naruto's character, and this was no exception: here, Kishimoto is empathizing with his own children and what it must have been like to have a father who was similarly dedicated to the village of Konoha. Of course, Kishimoto was drawing Konoha, scribbling away non-stop for the better part of fifteen years, and not ruling Konoha like Naruto. But the time-consuming responsibilities of a mangaka rival many world leaders, I assume.

Kishimoto had a hand in this movie in a way he has not in any of the previous movies: he wrote the entire screenplay himself. Additionally, Boruto is itself a continuation of the events of the series after the fact in a way that only The Last Naruto Movie (what an unfortunate name the second-to-last Naruto movie has, huh?) has done before. So, rather than being filler, or semi-canon that fans can write off, Boruto is not only an extension of the Naruto series but a final augmentation carried out by Kishimoto himself.

I talked about this in my reviews of the Scarlet Spring manga mini Kishimoto wrote about the later years of Naruto's life as Hokage, but Naruto as a series is and always has been a story with a massive emphasis on legacy. An individual's talents in Naruto are tied inextricably and explicitly to a web of influence which usually takes the form of an unbroken teaching lineage that can be traced back to the roots of the ninja world itself. It's something no other series has quite done the same, and was, to my mind, by far the most unique as well as the strongest aspect of Naruto as a series.

Ending the series with Boruto, then--and I mean, really, actually, legitimately, finally ending this fucking series--is a stroke of genius on Kishimoto's part. Sure, maybe it leaves things open for future sequels (I really hope not), but more than that, it emphasizes that just as Naruto's generation had their teachers, Boruto's generation has its teachers, and its own unique dynamic as to how those teachers relate to their students. Additionally, Boruto crams a handful of commentary on modern life versus an older way of doing things and, because it wraps things in the context of the ninja world, never seems preachy or condescending.

This was a movie about not taking shortcuts, appreciating what others can teach you, and appreciating that you yourself are only really teachable if you're willing to bust your own ass on your own time. There's really a lot of intellectual and emotional material jammed into this one movie, and considering it is, for all intents and purposes, Kishimoto's first complete movie screenplay, it's a pretty damn impressive outing in that respect.

Fans of Naruto will want for almost nothing in this movie. Understandably some things will go unexplored because it has the runtime of a film and not a filler-laden two hundred episode anime season. Further, the villains are, essentially, leftovers, but this does prevent this film from detracting from the ending of the Naruto series proper. The fight scenes are some of the best in Naruto since early Shippuden and, in some respects, they are actually much more tightly choreographed. The movie wastes no time catapulting the viewers into a stellar opening fight scene. Still, the overall quality of animation sometimes leaves the viewer wanting, as I find the style to be more washed-out than early Naruto and early Shippuden, but there are still plenty of visually stunning set-pieces.

I know fans probably want me to gush about what characters are in it, what kind of moments they have, what new jutsu people learn, how they kill everyone off--yeah, I'm not going into any of this. The cheers that each character received during their first appearance on the screen are probably only going to be echoed in the other screenings by two or three people, rather than the entirety of the Hammerstein Ballroom. I'll let you savor that sliver of the Naruto fandom yourself, because you all deserve to be as excited about watching this film as I was.

Score: 5/5

Boruto: Naruto The Movie Director: Hiroyuki Yamashita Writers: Masashi Kishimoto, Ukyō Kodachi Run Time: 105 Mins Release Date: 8/7/15

Austin Lanari 4/14/15 Austin Lanari 4/14/15

Review: The Heroic Legend of Arslan 1.2 - First Battle at 14

Shit this show is good. I accidentally signed up to review one of the best-paced animes I've had the pleasure of watching.

Shit this show is good. I accidentally signed up to review one of the best-paced animes I've had the pleasure of watching. Do you know how long it would take other animes out there to go from the capital city to the battlefield? A fucking season. Ten filler arcs. Maybe I have been jaded by being a fan of Naruto for so long, but good lord was it refreshing that this anime just gets on with the damn story. I was weary of too much time-skippery since that appears to be en vogue right now, but not only is Arslan well-paced in terms of getting the fuck on with things, it is well-paced in terms of leaving me off on a meaningful cliffhanger. More than just telling the story at an effective rate, Arslan continues to color the experience of the young Arslan by exposing him to the harsh realities of military life, both bureaucratic and on the battlefield.

Pepper in a plot twist that isn't being telegraphed every three minutes (*cough* Attack on Titan *cough*), formidable production values, and completely killer opening credits, and Arslan should be on your watch list unless you hate medieval themes and/or good things.

Score: 5/5

The Heroic Legend of Arslan 1.2 - First Battle at 14 Official Website

Austin Lanari 4/14/15 Austin Lanari 4/14/15

Review: Food Wars 1.2 - God Tongue

Enter the next big theme of this series: Soma is a peasant in the eyes of his peers and thus an outcast and underdog at the elite Totsuki Institute.

Enter the next big theme of this series: Soma is a peasant in the eyes of his peers and thus an outcast and underdog at the elite Totsuki Institute. Now, this episode worried me a little more than the other one in terms of the disrobing effect, but not because of my usual complaints about fan service: I just thought the sequence of Erina tasting his food started to drag and took about twice as long as it should have. But, once you get to the end of the episode, I think there might have been a good reason for this, since it ends with Soma being rejected from the institute. It's a really hilarious cliffhanger for the viewer because obviously he gets into Totsuki, and yet we have to wait a week to actually see it happen.

I am already really impressed by the people putting this anime together. The number one problem facing anime adaptations of successful manga is, after all, pacing. And it's not just a problem in terms of making the shows have successful cliffhangers without indulging in twenty million flashbacks (something that makes early Naruto unwatchable for many people); rather, it's a problem simply in terms of catching up to the damn anime. If this anime continues to successfully explore the same themes as the manga while taking its time in doing so by indulging in the anime form, it can only help the success of the Food Wars brand as a whole.

And how great is the “God Tongue” stuff? Erina is the polar opposite of Soma and so her abilities serve as a great dramatic foil for Soma's more visceral approach to the culinary world. To milk some extra comedy out of that ability with her incredibly specific, yet incredibly awkward analogies is just the cherry on top.

I might just start scoring these episodes based on how fucking hungry they make me, because I can't imagine there will be a bad episode for a long time.

Score: 5/5

Food Wars 1.2 - God Tongue Official Website

Austin Lanari 4/12/15 Austin Lanari 4/12/15

Review: Punchline 1.1

Punchline will, at first, seem like FLCL meets Bleach: and then you realize it's really just FLCL but with its own take on an absolutely ridiculous pubescent allegory.

Punchline will, at first, seem like FLCL meets Bleach: and then you realize it's really just FLCL but with its own take on an absolutely ridiculous pubescent allegory. A bus gets hijacked. A random and very goofy juice-themed hero shows up to save the day. Some dork on the bus sees some panties and goes pervy Super Saiyan. And here's the punch line of Punchline: while in his powered up mode, if the main character Yuta sees another pair of panties, a massive asteroid will collide with Earth, ending life as we know it.

Yeah.

To make matters worse, Punchline kicks off with Yuta having his body possessed, but with all of the rules of panty-viewing being transferred to his newly disembodied soul. Thus the plot of the first episode largely revolves around the fact that it is really easy for an incorporeal being living in a house with four women to accidentally see some panties.

In contrast to other helpings of fan service which I have decried this week, the excessive panty-viewings in this episode are to forward the plot. You might be thinking, "well isn't that convenient?" but let's be serious: acting like sexuality--especially budding, immature sexuality--cannot be the topic of a show is the wrong way to go about understanding, appreciating, or even criticizing particular shows for awkward sexual situations.

With that said, it's not as if you'll be able to get past the fan service in this show if gratuitous ecchi just isn't your thing. In that respect, this show has a limited demographic. I myself have mixed feelings about it, even though it's integral to this plot in a way that only felt gratuitous insofar as it was really central to the show: the show is about a guy who's superpowers revolve around seeing panties. It’s sort of hard not to get carried away with an idea with that much potential for humorous situations. And, ultimately, because this show is about someone who will destroy the world if they peep too much, this show is not about a young perv, but a young man who has to learn to keep it in his pants, lest he end human society.

The production values are fantastic, and the animations style lends itself to the humor of situations really well. My particular favorite character was the shinigami cat, half because it was animated to really humorous effect, and half because the cat is just a straight-up asshole and incredibly unhelpful to Yuta.

The shinigami dimension of this series, mixed with the weird superhero team situation that's going on in the house, made for an episode that makes the viewer ask a lot of questions without answers. Once the bomb gets dropped about Yuta's pervy superpower, the rest of the elements of the show sort of take a back seat; for instance, I actually forgot that Yuta was a ghost halfway through the episode. It's not something that lacks execution, but it's something that will warrant attention as the series progresses: either multiple strands of this show will be executed effectively, or it will just become a show about panties, and thus no longer worth anyone's time.

It's likely that Punchline is worth your time. But we will find out in very short order whether or not this series can explore the meaningful themes that I've given it credit for, or if it just turns out to be another ecchi-filled panty raid.

Score: 4/5

Punchline 1.1 Official Site

Austin Lanari 4/9/15 Austin Lanari 4/9/15

Review: Triage X 1.1

Let's call this the week of two fan services. In this corner, you have Triage X: Shoji Sato's latest experiment of trying to fuse cartoon tits and explosions with the eyes of otakus across the globe.

Let's call this the week of two fan services. In this corner, you have Triage X: Shoji Sato's latest experiment of trying to fuse cartoon tits and explosions with the eyes of otakus across the globe. In the other corner, you have PUNCH LINE, a charming... well, I don't know what the fuck was up with PUNCH LINE, but you can check out that review to find out. Back to the point: PUNCH LINE was a series in which the ecchi played a prominent plot role, and Triage X is a series in which there are a lot of boobs for absolutely no fucking reason. Granted, boobs for no reason is not automatically a bad thing. Look at One Piece. Boobs only figure into the plot insofar as they cause Sanji to act like a moron. That's about as much as they figure into the plot of real life, I would say. The more important difference? One Piece is actually interesting. Simply put, when fan service is all up in my face with major boobage every ten seconds and there is nothing interesting going on in your series, you are insulting my intelligence and my penis at the same time.

I mean, this episode was boring as shit. I mean really boring. I have never been so bored by boobs in my life, and as something with a Y chromosome, that causes me existential angst. If I am bored by boobs, you have really gone out of your way to make an episode of your show a vapid mess.

The plot of Triage X is simple, but suffers from being too simple: some people in society are bad, and society is sort of like a living organism, so those people are, you know, like, tumors, bro, you know? Ugh. It's like a stoner at my undergrad got to pitch a manga idea abroad. Again, though, a simple plot, even a stupidly simple plot, is not a death knell for any given series: the plot of One Piece is "... PIRATES!"

The difference is the need for a character that makes things dramatic; we're talking some kind of bare minimum for writing fiction here. Where Sato's Highschool of the Dead succeeds is cheap, but effective: zombies invading a high school and coming up against a team mainly composed of some kick-ass chicks is interesting enough to get me to sit through a season. The assault of boobage in that series is completely fucking ridiculous, but because the main plot has the aid of constant zombie-fueled conflict, the whole thing comes off as charmingly kitsch.

But there's nothing charming about the world of Triage X. The villain is a bad stereotype and the hero has a completely unbelievable story which is based on events so far removed from the plot itself that there's no reason for me to care. The kickass chicks in this series are presented as part of a team of assassins, meaning that when they're not killing stuff, they're all boring.

And god damnit I just don't care about their chesticles. Stop it. Put them away. It's 2015: an infinity of cartoon boobs is readily available on the interwebnets. If you're making an anime that's supposed to have a story then give me a story worth sticking around for. It's one thing to make me not want to stick around for the partial nudity, but to have a series be so boring that the partial nudity actually feels like it's patronizing me? Awful.

Also disappointing was the production value: Xebec really mailed it in on this one. Lines are sloppy and details are less than impressive. On top of that, the direction is just... empty. The main fight scene barely feels like a fight, and this series has to censor itself so much that even one of the long dialog scenes feels like it's missing details-- ironically, the details missing are nipples.

I did get a laugh out of the episode, since one of the characters was comically absurd. But it was too little too late. I'll stick with the series a little while to see if this was just a shaky first episode, but I'm not counting on it and you shouldn't either; unless you're some kind of major creep, in which case I would ask that you please keep both hands where I can see them when scrolling through my reviews.

Score: 1/5

Triage X 1.1 Official Website

Austin Lanari 4/9/15 Austin Lanari 4/9/15

Review: Ghost in the Shell: Arise - Alternative Architecture 1.1

Ghost in the Shell: Arise was originally animated for the screen as a set of four OVA's. Alternative Architecture is simply the release of those OVA's

Ghost in the Shell: Arise was originally animated for the screen as a set of four OVA's. Alternative Architecture is simply the release of those OVA's (originally released from 2013-2014) with the addition of two more episodes which will tie into the third movie in the Ghost in the Shell franchise, which comes out in Japan this June. This review is a review of the first OVA of the original Arise series of episodes, called "Ghost Pain." Prequels are a bitch: just ask anybody involved with Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. Ghost in the Shell is a similarly iconic series, although certainly of smaller scale than either of the aforementioned nerd behemoths. But what GitS might lack in the overwhelming mainstream appeal of other series, it makes up for in consistent quality; one episode in, and Arise is no exception. Though it will take all of the episodes of the series to really bear this out, Arise might be the most successfully executed prequel of a well-known series I have ever had the pleasure of watching.

"Ghost Pain" introduces us to a re-designed (or I guess, "pre-desgined") Kusanagi, prior to her time as a Major with Public Security Section 9. I had very few worries, since I went in with high expectations, but I was skeptical of the show possibly revealing too much about Kusanagi's past. A constant theme of this series, after all, is the uncertainty of human memory, especially when that memory is tied to a mind anchored to this world through prosthetics. Beyond the philosophical intrigue that this series manages to frequently cash in on, it's just a fact that a lot of successful Japanese anime and manga rely on story gaps to give a certain degree of weight and mystery to the world which is being presented (Cowboy Bebop is the paramount example of this).

Not only did "Ghost Pain" not disappoint by revealing too much about Kusanagi, it actually leveraged the very same themes as more familiar iterations of the series in order to present its plot effectively. Memory and its relationship to our friends, our families, and our duties is front and center in this episode. Sure, it sometimes makes the plot get extremely cerebral, forcing the viewer to do a teensy bit of hair-pulling to figure out what's going on; but, I would rather have my plot be smart than vacuous.

Aramaki is his wonderfully stoic self (albeit with no gray hair), Batou bursts on the scene in true Batou fashion, we get to see a proto-tachikoma with all of the charm of the later models, and Kusanagi is sharp as ever. The success of this prequel, other than the bare minimum of not being a failure, lies mostly in two things: the fact that it nails familiar characters while still weaving a palpable thread of immaturity through all of them, and the fact that it introduces new characters who do not feel forced or alien to the world of Ghost in the Shell.

Production I.G can be a hit or a miss for me in terms of putting together a tight anime. It always nails Ghost in the Shell, though, and Arise was no exception. Voice work was obviously top notch as well: even the English dubs of Ghost in the Shell feature phenomenal voice acting, although good dubs are increasingly becoming the norm, which is super exciting for people who don't like reading subtitles (I personally don't mind it).

I think this is a must-watch if you're a Ghost in the Shell fan (especially if you're a fan of Stand Alone Complex), and an obvious must-re-watch for others, in order to get back in the swing of things for the additional episodes. Of course, the curse of a successful prequel is that it fits into a particular niche of the overarching narrative of the series, and thus owes a great deal of its charm to its interpretation of characters which have already been established. But "Ghost Pain" kicked ass, and I can't say it was anything less than awesome if it's only fault is being later in the viewing order.

Score: 5/5

Ghost in the Shell: Arise - Alternative Architecture 1.1 Official Website

Austin Lanari 4/7/15 Austin Lanari 4/7/15

Review: The Heroic Legend of Arslan 1.1 - The Glory of Ekbataana

The Heroic Legend of Arslan will come out of the gate seeming formulaic to some, but benefits from incredible production value and humanizing character work.

The Heroic Legend of Arslan will come out of the gate seeming formulaic to some, but benefits from incredible production value and humanizing character work. Arslan has a long history in the form of novels, manga, and anime. The newest iteration of Tanaka's fantasy epic is being rendered in manga form by the incomparable Hiromu Arakawa, of Fullmetal Alchemist fame. Arakawa's manga version of this over twenty-year-old tale is now being rendered as an anime, and it looks good: really good.

First off, some will recognize a lot of the character designs from Arakawa's work on Fullmetal. Just off the top of my head, the titular character's got an Edward Elric thing going on, the main antagonist of this episode has an Alphonse thing going on, and Daryun has a Kimblee/Greed mash-up thing going on. But focusing on this is a small quibble, particularly when Arakawa's specialty is designing characters that look human and react in a human way.

Which brings me to my next point: this series has already proven to me that it is going to get things right that Attack on Titan constantly screws up. (I will try to set aside too much bashing of AoT: buy me a beer sometime and I will rant about this for hours.) Both of these series have timid lead characters. Both of these series are going to feature the tumultuous times of an empire and what the young generation can manage to do about it. But where certain protagonists (*cough* useless Eren Yeager *cough*) swap back and forth from timid to angry then back to timid and back to angry, Arslan is just a little rich spoiled piece of shit who thinks he understands the world.

And that's fantastic.

Why? Because, as this episode did a great job of showing, Arslan is a young, spoiled prince who has a budding concern for justice; but, he has absolutely no concept of what justice really is. Other series that follow this formula of "oh no crisis and only kids can save the day and we need to time-skip and the main character is being a little bitch about everything!" constantly fail to plant this seed. If the main character is hard to like, a great way to develop that character is to flip what is shitty about him on its head. Arslan's Siddhartha-like encounter with the dead slaves at the end of this episode is prodding the viewer and letting them know that his naive sense of justice is about to get blown to pieces.

And the production value of this show is top-notch. Other than one awkward shot of some soldiers marching where the digital effects made it seem a tad robotic, the music, colors, movement, and-- well, everything about this anime gorgeous.

I thought that this episode was so good that it made me want to go read the manga. If that doesn't warrant a perfect score, I'm not sure what does: I honestly think the series could only go downhill from here, so let's set our expectations high.

Score: 5/5

The Heroic Legend of Arslan 1.1 - The Glory of Ekbataana Official Website

Austin Lanari 4/5/15 Austin Lanari 4/5/15

Review: Food Wars 1.1 - An Endless Wasteland

Food Wars: Shokugeki no Soma was made to be an anime, but folks new to the series will probably have to hang around for a few episodes.

Food Wars: Shokugeki no Soma was made to be an anime, but folks new to the series will probably have to hang around for a few episodes. When it was announced that the Food Wars: Shokugeki no Soma manga was going to join Weekly Shonen Jump (which I cover every week), I was excited. It was not a series I had ever read, but I knew that it would appeal to me immediately. I like manga (a lot), I like cooking (a lot), and, in particular, I really like trying new recipes, especially Japanese ones. If I recall correctly, the first chapter serialized in Jump featured a detailed scientific explanation of the qualities that make a fish fresh.

And I've been hooked ever since.

The manga is not just informative and fun. It features a really strong cast of characters, all with their own stories and ambitions. And the lead character, Soma Yukihara, will probably go down as an archetypal Shonen character. When the anime got announced, oh my good golly goodness was I pumped. Because this series has so much potential to succeed in the anime form that it's stupid.

Think about it. We're talking about one of the most internationally successful manga right now, the main theme of which is based on our senses. That a manga based on food in the real world has been able to deliver its topic so successfully in a medium that plays off of only one sense (sight) in a static, often colorless form, is a testament to the depth of the characters and ideas contained within. Surely, as well, the series has received some help from fairly frequent ecchi that gets peppered in for dramatic and comedic effect. Whenever a dish is particularly amazing, a thing called "disrobing" happens to both women and men alike, and it's exactly what it sounds like. It's often incredibly over-dramatic and employs splash pages that take the newly naked characters to some surreal setting.

Take both of those things--the serious, central subject matter of delicious, innovative cuisine, and the contrasting surrealistic, mostly-nude, dramatic reactions of customers and judges--and add 1. color 2. sound 3. and the motion of animation, and holy sweet shit I promise you there is a winning formula. And I'm talking in abstract here: it is very obvious from jump (pun intended) street that this anime has an inherently successful formula that it will have to go out of its way to screw up.

The first episode did not disappoint. Having since read the entire manga, I can tell you that the high points of the first manga chapter are establishing Soma's ambitions, his relationship with his dad, his knack for learning from his mistakes, and the way the groundwork gets set for that disrobing ecchi effect. All of these things were front and center in the anime: it kept true to the spirit of the manga, and then some. The food was a pleasure to look at in full color with steam pouring off of it, and it is completely unfair how hungry the show made me. And, as expected, the disrobing effect, with the power of made-for-television animation on its side, was completely fucking ridiculous.

Rather than being confined to a two-page spread, the anime gets to indulge in its fan service in a way that both increases the fan service but, more importantly for a twenty-something like me who is not really into that shit, increases the hell out of the comedic effect. The thing that I like so much about this series is that it earns its little fan service moments with a plot that has a brisk pace and a lot of meaningful character payoffs.

All that said, I could see how people who haven't read the manga and had the chance to see the balance between the plot and the ecchi probably felt like they were being assaulted by the amount of nudity in the first episode of this show--a show that's supposed to be about cooking. I think that's a fair criticism. The main reason I don't think that it was heavy-handed is because I already have the context of the manga. It remains to be seen whether the potential to indulge in the fan service becomes a hindrance to this anime's success; but, the manga has struck a good balance, and I think the show will be fine if it tries to stick to that same ratio.

I know some people will stay just for the fan service. My concern is that this series needs to embrace its ability to appeal to a lot of demographics. If it can do that, I guarantee you are looking at an anime series that is going to be talked about for a long time.

Score: 4/5

Food Wars 1.1 - And Endless Wasteland Official Website

Austin Lanari 11/8/14 Austin Lanari 11/8/14

Review: Doctor Who S8.E12 – Death in Heaven

The finale of Series 8 of New Who cashed in on a season of substantial character development and might have been Moffat's best as showrunner.

The finale of Series 8 of New Who cashed in on a season of substantial character development and might have been Moffat's best as showrunner. What follows is spoiler free so long as you have already seen "Dark Water," part one of the finale.

Though I and many others groaned about the use of the Master in "Dark Water," and though I still think the character didn't quite get to realize the breadth of what she is capable of, the character's presence delivered a lot of unforgettable villainous moments, as well as eliciting a couple of very powerful scenes from our beloved Doctor. Also, Michelle Gomez kills it as the Master.

The twist on Cybermen that I was looking for in the review of the previous episode showed up right on our doorstep, and I think it was enough to keep our favorite heartless tin men fresh; of course, it kept them fresh for this episode, but I really need a break from them going forward.

Essentially everything I complained about in the previous review was improved upon, even if not as fully as it could have been. Since I at least acknowledged that was a possibility, I take no blame for being a little pessimistic. Let's be serious here: Moffat doesn't have the best track record of writing tight, satisfying finales that manage to put a neat little bow on the Series.

This time was different. Though he harped on the afterlife bit with Missy in his usual heavy-handed style of foreshadowing, this series actually brought the development of several character-driven threads to a compelling climax that made sense and wasn't based on anybody being an "Impossible Girl," or a "Horny Ginger with a Stupid Boyfriend."

Though I thought Moffat indulged himself a little too much on the number of speeches during the climactic moments of the episode, there was still a shooting gallery of emotional payoffs (read: emotional wrecking balls) that harken back to the soul-crushing finales that goaded the sadist in me to become a fan of this show in the first place.

Previous finales have made me ambivalent as to whether or not I caught this show the next time it was on, with one finale in particular getting me to give up my Whovian card before begrudgingly catching up to give this current Series a chance. I am beyond glad that I did. I cannot wait for the Christmas special, nor can I wait to see what else Moffat, Capaldi, and company have in store for me.

Expect a spoiler-ridden recap of the Series, including more gushing about all of the threads that got resolved in the finale, my favorite and least favorite episodes of the Series, and my predictions, however woefully inaccurate, for the Series to come!

Score: 4/5

Writer: Steven Moffat Saturday’s 9:00pm ET/PT on BBC America

Austin Lanari 11/2/14 Austin Lanari 11/2/14

Review: Doctor Who S8.E11 - Dark Water

You know the saying "love will find a way?" Well, I've discovered that an equally powerful force of nature is Steven Moffat, who will also find a way: a way piss me off even during his best season as showrunner. Ok, so it's not as if the crap that he just pulled in this episode retroactively ruins the quality of Capaldi Who so far, because this is my favorite Series of New Who since Tennant's departure. I'll have more to say about this when I review the entire Series, but Clara has come into her own as a companion, and episodes like "Kill the Moon" and "Flatline" have appealed to philosophy and physics nerds alike while containing interesting characters of color.

Let's talk about a few of the big problems I had with this episode. Obviously spoilers follow.

The first one is Danny's encounter with his victim. I might change my mind about this, but this interaction really didn't sit right with me. My problem is that I knew something like this was coming. Whenever Moffat gets heavy-handed and hints at something twenty times, he always makes sure to reveal every single detail about the secret at which he gestures. Yeah, I know: Danny Pink killed someone innocent. And, if he's this busted up about it, it was probably a woman or a child.

By being so heavy-handed, when there's this big reveal of it being a kid, I already expect it. And anyway, what's the payoff going to be for me here? I feel like Moffat is just picking at a scab to try to be profound, but it's just making everybody watching uncomfortable. I appreciate ethically challenging material, but this served no purpose.

Second, though i appreciate the fact that every finale Moffat has done using characters that weren't used by his predecessor has been a boring disaster, it seems like the one time he might be able to get by without Cybermen or Daleks is when he's employing the other major villain employed by his predecessor: the Master. Shrinking and going inside of a rogue Dalek is a novel re-use of Daleks, but Cybermen are hardly as interesting, and have been played with so much that I don't know what's left to get out of them.

Third. *Deep Breath.* The original send-off of the Master was a soul-crushingly perfect scene that really epitomized the heart of New Who: The Master, refusing to regenerate, dying in Ten's arms, leaving him to be the lonely god. It is a finale that I will never forget. Even Ten and Davies’ final send-off which invoked the resurrection of the Master was blasphemy. Still, it was a fun ride, using the madness of the Master to represent and ultimately undo the arrogance of the Time Lords, whose morality was twisted from years of war.

Often, criticisms of Moffat are rejected because they appeal to some notion of a status quo, and don't allow for growth or change beyond the years of Tennant or Davies. But unless artistic progress actually follows guidelines set forth by Matthew McConaughey in a car commercial (going forward by going backward), Moffat's use of the Master in these circumstances is indefensible and shits all over the character's powerful departure.

If progress is the name of the game-- which certainly it has been this season, with a new Doctor, a new Clara, a bevy of new, challenging episodes and a crop of youngsters and supporting characters who look like most of the planet rather than just the most privileged parts-- why not give us the Rani like so many of us have been clamoring for? With all the bloated crap that happened regarding Gallifrey in the 50th anniversary special, why are we limited to a Time Lord whose sacrifice is already a dear part of our experience of this show?

It at least seems to me like such a significant character making a comeback after all of what happened would warrant more than fifteen seconds at the end of the episode just to say "MISSY. MISTRESS. MASTER. #CYBERLOL." Take a minute to remember when you first found out who Dr. Yana was. I still feel like I'm getting punched in the gut when I remember that reveal. The Master deserves nothing less than that, especially after all that's happened. If anything, he deserves to be allowed to stay dead.

... it does make the kiss at the beginning of the episode a lot funnier, though.

Just to end on a good note, because this was just the first episode of the finale and there is still plenty of time to go somewhere interesting or ruin it even more, the beginning of this episode was legitimately fantastic. Not that I wanted to see Danny die (and not that the hardrive-soul-cybermen-body thing actually makes much sense if you think too hard about it), but Clara and the Doctor's relationship has been a highlight of this season, and seeing things coming to a head the way they did because of Danny's death perfectly underscored the development of both Clara's character and her love for Danny.

Additionally, the showdown with Clara really put a flourish on the development of Twelve as his own Doctor. Just imagine if any companion had pulled that shit with our previous Doctors in New Who. Nine, Ten, and Eleven all would have exhibited varying degrees of angst before shouting, crying, and inevitably parting ways with Clara. But Twelve knows that as the man who stops the monsters, he doesn’t have time for angst.

This wasn’t the worst episode ever, but Moffat still found a way to get under my skin. That said, I’m excited for the rest of this finale, because I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t looking forward to Twelve and Clara in action every week. And that’s damn cool.

Score: 3/5

Writer: Steven Moffat Saturday's 9:00pm ET/PT on BBC America