Worst Movies of 2015 #1
You can't have the "Best" without the "Worst" so in typical Comic Bastards fashion we're bringing you the worst movies of 2015. Yeah we're steadily into the new year, but let's not forget what made for some painful cinema last year. Also, we could only pick the movie's we've seen. So if something isn't on our list and you're surprised... don't be. That means it was so bad we didn't even waste our time.
DUSTIN: Jupiter Ascending
No joke, this film does almost the same thing as Star Wars and Jurassic World in that it tries to rip off the Matrix and fails. Which is really sad considering it’s made by the people who made the Matrix. The performances suck. The CG sucks. The story is beyond suck. Even suck looks at the story and is embarrassed to be seen with it. It’s the worst movie of the year and it had an incredible budget. Instead it just ends up looking like a movie too heavily influenced by the 90’s rave scene. If you want to punish yourself, watch this three-hour turd and try not to laugh at the stupid fuck ending which does not match up with the rest of the fucking story.
DAVE: The Ridiculous Six
I’ve already reviewed The Ridiculous Six for this site, giving it a score of 1/5 and frankly it was lucky to get that “1”. That few meagre positives it did have were supplied by cameos from the likes of John Turturro, Harvey Keitel and Nick Nolte, who must have known they were in a terrible film and decided to have fun with it. The actual plot involves Sandler’s Tommy (aka White Knife) and his five half brothers, all of them different one-note stereotypes, rescuing their father (Nick Nolte) from generic bad guy Cicero (Danny Trejo). The loose plot doesn’t really go anywhere, and recurring jokes about Native American names and donkey shit tell you the intellectual level this is operating at. Sandler phones in a peformance as usual, and even he looks fed up by his films at this point. I can think of absolutely no reason to recommend this overlong, boring mess of a film to anyone. But then, I don’t need to - at the time of writing, this is the most watched film ever on Netflix. Maybe it’s about time for the seas to rise and claim us all.
CAMERON: Ted 2
I loved the First Ted. I saw it 3 times in Theaters. The first Ted film, was so funny, because it felt like a Real Life Family Guy. Ted 2…………..I honestly was speechless when I saw this film. About 20 minutes in, I realized the film began (I’m not kidding) Ted 2 felt like they had a bunch of random scenes and jokes with almost no story and had to piece it together. Mark Wahlberg was horrendous in this film. He barely seemed to show up and when he did, it just felt boring and sad. Also, I’m not sure if anyone noticed, but Ted 2 had almost no music throughout the film. Ted 2 was so bad, I didn’t even care to watch the ending. I turned it off about half way through. This was not only the worst but most disappointing film of 2015.
Worst Movies of 2015 #2
You can't have the "Best" without the "Worst" so in typical Comic Bastards fashion we're bringing you the worst movies of 2015. Yeah we're steadily into the new year, but let's not forget what made for some painful cinema last year. Also, we could only pick the movie's we've seen. So if something isn't on our list and you're surprised... don't be. That means it was so bad we didn't even waste our time.
CAMERON: Trainwreck
When my wife and I saw this in theaters, we contemplated leaving several times during this film. The film was HORRIBLE. If you’d like to see my in-depth review, check it out here, but at the time of my review, this was the worst film I have ever seen. I didn’t have much faith, because I feel Amy Schumer is not very funny, but this was cringe worthy. The dialogue is banter and meaningless, and not only that, but it was so vulgar and pointless, it just became annoying. Also, this film was like over 2 hours long, and that is INSANE for a comedy, especially considering the plot was so basic and obvious. Trainwreck smashes down to my #2 spot.
DAVE: United Passions
It seems a bit unfair to include this laughable FIFA propaganda film on this list, but after a year that has seen crook after crook get their comeuppance after years of bribery, corruption and Mafia-style omerta, it seems oddly appropriate. FIFA spent about $24m of its slush fund (but it’s a non-profit organisation, of course) on this self-serving mess, recruiting reasonably respected actors like Tim Roth, Sam Neill and Gerard Depardieu to come on board. The oddest thing about the film is that it’s a football/soccer film that places meetings, boardroom deals and advertising contracts above the actual sport in importance.
Roth plays recently-deposed FIFA president Sepp Blatter who, along with his mentor Joao Havelange (Sam Neill) reforms FIFA and makes the World Cup the world’s grandest sporting spectacle. Also, if you want to swallow the propaganda, the two ended apartheid, survived bankruptcy and beat internal corruption (it seems laughable now, given how many of these men and their cronies are - or soon will be - behind bars). Someday there might be a film about what really happened at FIFA as it went from an insular, loss-making organisation to making more money than the GDP of a small country, but this film is not that. More importantly perhaps than any of the nonsense the film spouts is the fact that it’s more boring than one of those FIFA meetings.
DUSTIN: Vice
I know that some of you are probably wondering how the fuck this isn’t my number one movie. Let me explain, the number one movie had a budget and filmmakers that should have been able to make something better than a turd. Vice was a bad movie on a terrible budget. I suspect that they spent all their money, getting Bruce Willis or even worse this film was tanked by Willis’ Expendables 3 paycheck being pushed over to Vice’s check book. Whatever the case, the story is god awful. A city that people can do whatever they want and A.I.’s that are so lifelike that they have to wipe their memories… because they’re murdered and raped daily. For some reason the Punisher is there, but he’s not the Punisher, he’s just a cop with morals. We never learn why. He kills real people to set the A.I. people free… it’s a piece of shit and the filmmakers should be embarrassed and so should the actors.
Worst Movies of 2015 #3
You can't have the "Best" without the "Worst" so in typical Comic Bastards fashion we're bringing you the worst movies of 2015. Yeah we're steadily into the new year, but let's not forget what made for some painful cinema last year. Also, we could only pick the movie's we've seen. So if something isn't on our list and you're surprised... don't be. That means it was so bad we didn't even waste our time.
DAVE: Taken 3
Luc Besson has never met a successful film that he didn’t try to turn into a money-making franchise, but each Taken sequel has been worse than the last, and each one seems to move further and further away from what made the first one such an unexpected hit. The original taken is taught, tense and enjoyable, but Taken 3 (hopefully the franchise’s last breath) has very little to do with those other films, aside from featuring Liam Neeson punching random Eastern European men with beards. Nothing is “taken” is Taken 3, instead the plot finds Neeson’s Bryan Mills framed for the murder of his ex-wife, and on the run from the LAPD. It feels like writers Besson and Robert Mark Kamen (along with director Oliver Megaton) have taken a generic thriller screenplay and run it through a “Taken” filter. It’s a bit The Fugitive, but nowhere near as good.
I can remember when, at the end of Taken 2, Neeson’s character said “I’m...just so tired”. We all are, Liam, we all are. Stopping at one film would have been perfect. Stopping after the lesser second one would have been advisable, but stopping at three really, really needs to happen. I never thought watching the man who played Oscar Schindler punch people would get boring. But it has.
CAMERON: The Loft
When I first saw the trailer for The Loft, I was quite interested. I loved Wentworth Miller in Prison Break, and of course it was just a hit cast. It also felt like it had the potential to be a modern-day “Clue” in that it would be a compelling mystery with great acting. WAS I EVER WRONG! This film was downright boring. The acting from EVERY star in it was beyond stale. Not only that, I saw the ending coming from A MILE AWAY. I mean, I give them credit for trying to pull a fast one, but I could tell from the second the film started who did it. With an atrocious screenplay and disappointing acting, The Loft takes my #3 spot.
DUSTIN: Jurassic World/Star Wars: The Force Awakens
What I’m about to say applies to both films. They’re just remakes of the first film, but done in continuity. Sure, they’re the two biggest films, but when I watched them they did the same thing. Make references to the successful first film while copying it. I didn’t enjoy either. They were just rehash. They are what’s wrong with Hollywood and yet movie audiences continue to eat it up. Why? Because they buy the hype rather than making informed decisions and looking for balanced opinions. They tie for third because they do the exact same fucking thing and if you can’t see that then you probably saw both of them twice. Also if you want a tie-breaker just pick whichever one made enough money for you at the box office.
Worst Movies of 2015 #4
You can't have the "Best" without the "Worst" so in typical Comic Bastards fashion we're bringing you the worst movies of 2015. Yeah we're steadily into the new year, but let's not forget what made for some painful cinema last year. Also, we could only pick the movie's we've seen. So if something isn't on our list and you're surprised... don't be. That means it was so bad we didn't even waste our time.
CAMERON: Hot Pursuit
Nothing is more annoying than Sofia Vergara yelling non-stop and Reese Witherspoon’s horrible southern accent. But it gets worse. Hot Pursuit, felt like an excuse to use to use very well-known actresses, in a pointless and plotless “Drug Cartel” style film. I think Sofia Vergara is hilarious in Modern Family, but this was beyond bad. Her entire role in this film was yelling and complaining to the point where I was thinking of shutting it off during important scenes. Without a plot, and ANNOYING acting, this film flops to my number #4 spot.
DAVE: Fantastic Four
It’s beginning to look like The Fantastic Four might be cursed. Ten years after Fox’s first poorly received attempt to kick-start a film franchise, they gave it another go. Initial signs were promising with a decent enough cast including up-and-comers like Kate Mara and Michael B. Jordan and a young director that had produced in interesting spin on the superhero genre with the low-budget Chronicle.
All that promise was for nought, though, as the 2015 version proved to be somehow worse than the 2005 vintage. It slogged through an origin story we’ve all heard a thousand times (and seen onscreen at least once before) takes ages to set up any kind of conflict and then sputters and coughs to an apologetic stop. Last time, Fantastic Four got an unwanted sequel, but it seems any plans for that have been scrapped. No matter what the rumours of behind-the-scenes shenanigans might suggest, there’s no real excuse for a film this bad to be made from this source material. Shall we all have another go in 10 years?
DUSTIN: Hitman: Agent 47
They need my blood to make more like me… but they’ve made a better version so… why the fuck do they need me? That’s the basic idea of this movie. There was some okay action. There were a lot of nods to the game which were nice, but the story was shit. The story was a fucking mess and so mediocre that you could watch it on mute. A girl tracks down her father that’s been off the grid and she doesn’t realize that that plays right into the hands of the people who want to find him? Wat? This movie proved that Hollywood isn’t ready for video game movies and that we’re a was off from them taking over for comic book movies.
Worst Movies of 2015 #5
You can't have the "Best" without the "Worst" so in typical Comic Bastards fashion we're bringing you the worst movies of 2015. Yeah we're steadily into the new year, but let's not forget what made for some painful cinema last year. Also, we could only pick the movie's we've seen. So if something isn't on our list and you're surprised... don't be. That means it was so bad we didn't even waste our time.
DAVE: Ted 2
Year on year, Seth MacFarlane seems to be losing the goodwill that many years of Family Guy had given him. While Ted was surprisingly funny, A Million Ways To Die In The West was muddled and Ted 2, the ill-advised sequel, little short of a disaster. The first film about Mark Wahlberg’s mid-30s slacker and his only real friend, a magical, foul-mouthed stoner bear, was a lot funnier than it had any right to be. It wasn’t smart, sure, but it didn’t need to be,
Ted 2, at points, tries desperately to be smart, to the point where it forgets to actually make jokes. That said, maybe it’s for the best - most of the jokes it does make fail to land - when one of your funniest moments is recycled from a decades old Family Guy episode, you know you’re in trouble. Supporting players include Amanda Seyfried (in for Mila Kunis, who wisely side-stepped this second installment) and Morgan Freeman, but even they can’t save this one.
CAMERON: Unfinished Business
Unfinished Business didn’t seem to have a lot going for it other than Vince Vaughn. He is one of those actors that can either be hilarious in films like Old School and Couples Retreat, or he can be extremely boring and just not funny. Unfinished Business falls into the trap of what I call “Party-Comedy” These films are basically Montage scenes of partying with exposition filled dialogue in between. Tons of films fall into this category like Sisters, Hot Tub Time Machine 1 and 2, and MANY others! The problem with UB, is it never even felt fun. I didn’t feel there was any stakes to this film. It was honestly very boring, and that’s why it takes my #5 Spot!
DUSTIN: The Longest Ride
I only saw this movie because I was home for the holidays and my father watched it. He thought it was a cowboy movie, which it does pretend to be, but he had never seen a Nicolas Sparks story brought to the silver screen. Someone dies. Someone always dies in a Nicolas Sparks story. The story is typical. There’s a twist after a death that makes everyone’s lives better. You’ll cry if you’re into the weak attempts at pulling on our heart-strings. The only other movie that does it this obviously was Inside Out (which almost made my list). Scott Eastwood apparently learned acting from watching paint dry. His performance is dull just like the rest of the movie. Alan Alda plays “old man dying” and it’s pretty obvious that he showed up for the pay check and because his character mostly got to sit down. The fucked up part is that, “The Longest Ride” isn’t really about the longest ride which is a bull riding term, but rather the story of the old guy. Pretty shitty title bait and switch if you ask me. Also the CG bull riding looks terrible.
Best Movies of 2015 #1
For the first time ever we’re bringing you the best movies of 2015! This list is a bit different from our comic section in that we’re just picking the top five movies of the year and ever writer is getting their own pick. Without further ado, here’s the #1 movies.
DUSTIN: Chappie
Chappie is one of the best movie’s I’ve seen in a long ass time. Not only were the special effects wonderful and realistic, but the story was there to support the graphics and the world. Director Neill Blomkamp has always been able to deliver on both fronts, but it’s the emotional journey that he brings about with Chappie, his maker and his surrogate family that makes this film standout from his impressive resume. Sharlto Copley, a favorite of Blomkamp’s, delivers a performance that resonates with you and shows just how incredible of an actor he can be given the right material. Another thing that stands out about this film is the performances of all of the main characters. Hugh Jackman plays the unlikable heel, while Ninja and Yo-Landi Visser surprise with their performances. At the end of the day I picked Chappie because I want to watch Chappie again… and again. I think that says more about a film than anything else. I’ve seen plenty of ”great” films that I never wanted to watch again.
DAVE: Mad Max: Fury Road
George Miller’s long awaited return to The Wasteland had been in gestation for so long that many thought it would never see the light of day. Back in the 90’s, when it was originally mooted, Mel Gibson was all set to reprise his role as Max Rockatansky and in the early years of the last decade it was suggested the movie could be animated. It eventually saw the light of day in 2015 as a live action, full-on assault on the senses, with Tom Hardy replacing the long gone Gibson in the title role. Fury Road is short on plot: it’s basically one long car chase with a grunting, monosyllabic Max helping Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) escape the clutches of maniac despot Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne) with several of his other wives in tow. The film received ire online from anti-feminist keyboard warriors, but the fact that in 2015 a film that literally spells out the fact that women “are not objects” is actually controversial is a sad indictment on society. The film’s feminist undertones and overtones are much-needed, frankly, but this film is much more than that. It looks spectacular - Miller’s heady universe is gothically beautiful, the (mostly practical) effects are jaw-dropping, and a brilliant cast play it straight when it lesser hands it could have been over the top. It is genuinely a work of genius, and proof that action films don’t need to be dumb or filled with CGI to work.
CAMERON: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Now, I want to state that I am NOT fanboying over this by any means. This is a 100% NON BIASED #1, and I’ll explain why. There was not a film this year that I sat in the theater and became a 12-year-old kid again. This film is everything great about filmmaking! From story to visuals, The Force Awakens delivers on every single level. I won’t give away anything about the story, but it basically follows Rey as she discovers something interesting and meets Fin, an ex-Storm Trooper, and find themselves in the middle of something much bigger. J. J. Abrams absolutely impressed me with his directing, especially considering Fin, Po, and Rey are such young and new actors and actresses. Rey absolutely stole the film, but in a close second for me was Kylo Ren. With such a deep villain, it makes the entire story that much more interesting….and that ending…. all of you who have seen it know! This film is beyond good and that’s why it is the Best Film of 2015!
Best Movies of 2015 #2
For the first time ever we’re bringing you the best movies of 2015! This list is a bit different from our comic section in that we’re just picking the top five movies of the year and ever writer is getting their own pick. Without further ado, here’s the #2 movies.
DAVE: The Martian
After the recent missteps of Prometheus and Exodus: Gods & Kings, Ridley Scott reminded everyone why his name is so revered with The Martian. Based upon the novel of the same name by Andy Weir, The Martian has hard science to go with its fiction, a rarity these days. The film stars Matt Damon as astronaut Mark Watney, a botanist who is stranded on Mars when a mission goes awry. Presumed dead by his mission commander Melissa Lewis (Jessica Chastain), Watney is forced to use his intelligence and ingenuity to survive on the hostile dead planet while awaiting rescue by NASA. Scott’s film is a cerebral, tense, sometimes funny and always hopeful look at humanity’s need and will to survive against the odds. It’s also a timely reminder to those who may have forgotten that, with the right material, Ridley Scott remains capable of great things.
CAMERON: The Peanuts Movie
Originally when I saw this film I thought I was going to be disappointed, but I left the theater jaw dropped at how amazing this film was. The Peanuts is the classic story of Charlie Brown and the gang, and when a new girl moves into town, Charlie Brown is head over heels for her and will stop at nothing to try to impress her. The Peanuts movie is so genuine and captures everything great about being a kid. So many times films get caught up on nostalgia or paying tribute to previous films in a series, that they forget why we loved the films in the first place. The new Peanuts film felt brand new, but felt like previous films before. This movie is AMAZING and a must see and why it takes my #2 spot.
DUSTIN: Mad Max: Fury Road
I went back and forth with myself on where to put this on my list. Is it the best and deserving of my number one spot or was it more of a second best? I’ll probably never be happy with my choice, but at the end of the day it lost out to my first pick because of replay value. I don’t know if I’ll ever really sit down and watch this film again or at least more than once. I loved it. I think it’s incredible filmmaking and shows the balance between practical and special effects. It also proved that movie audiences are interested in crazy characters that aren’t all glammed out on the screen. Really if I could cheat my own system I would put it at a tie for first, but I can’t. Gorgeous fucking movie though.
Best Movies of 2015 #3
For the first time ever we’re bringing you the best movies of 2015! This list is a bit different from our comic section in that we’re just picking the top five movies of the year and ever writer is getting their own pick. Without further ado, here’s the #3 movies.
CAMERON: Mad Max: Fury Road
Most people would assume this would be on every and any best films of 2015 list. Mad Max was an incredible directing, cinematography, and visual effects feat! Mad Max is the 4th film in the Mad Max franchise. To be honest, I never have seen another Mad Max, which is somewhat of a crutch to watching this film. Mad Max is a very vague movie, with a simple storyline, which is my only gripe about it. Basically, Mad Max is captured and held as a life support for a man, who is searching for these women who have escaped from there rotting utopia. The escape led by Furiosa, is an insane journey when Mad Max gets into the mix. This film’s visual effects, cinematography, and breath taking stunts are what make this my #3 spot.
DUSTIN: Anomalisa
Charlie Kaufman. Claymation.
I don’t really need to say more, but I will. Anomalisa (say like you’re saying “anomaly” and the name “Lisa”), is about a man that has become bored with life. Bored with the people that he meets in life. It’s actually way more complex than that and I don’t even really want to give you my impression of the film because there’s a lot to digest while watching. At the end you’ll either get the film or you’ll walk away with some misguided “2015” type impression of it. Personally, I thought it was incredible and the Claymation was incredible and realistic, but with a touch of style to it. It also has the most realistic sex scene in movie history. Claymation.
DAVE: Inside Out
Surely the day must come soon where animated films can be considered for Best Picture nominations like their live action brethren. Certainly I doubt there would be many eyebrows raised if Pixar’s greatest achievement to date, Inside Out, was competing for the gong. Inside Out ostensibly follows the trials and tribulations of an 11-year-old girl Riley (Kaitlin Dias) as she is uprooted from her happy Midwest life and moved to San Francisco along with her parents. But Inside Out’s real story centers around the emotions that inhabit her brain: Joy (Amy Poehler), Anger (Lewis Black), Fear (Bill Hader), Disgust (Mandy Kaling) and Sadness (Phyliss Smith). As Riley tries - and fails - to adjust to a new city, a new house, and a new school we see the more negative emotions take control, and when an accident results in Joy and Sadness being ejected from the brain’s “control room”, the odd couple have to work together to get back in control of Riley’s emotional state to save her from the bumbling control of Anger, Fear and Disgust. Inside Out is a wonderful film that argues for the vital importance of sadness in an often happiness-obsessed culture. It’s one of the best films of the year, in fact of recent years - and it doesn’t need the “animated” caveat for that to be true.
Best Movies of 2015 #4
For the first time ever we’re bringing you the best movies of 2015! This list is a bit different from our comic section in that we’re just picking the top five movies of the year and ever writer is getting their own pick. Without further ado, here’s the #4 movies.
DUSTIN: Turbo Kid
For a movie that was funded via crowdfunding, this film was pretty damn good. It knew what it was, it knew what it wanted to do and it worked within its own budget to accomplish those tasks. Was it the most incredible bit of filmmaking? No, but it was entertaining and had a look and style that was captivating and stayed with you.
DAVE: Ex-Machina
Ex-Machina is the directorial debut of 28 Days Later writer Alex Garland, and it’s a rarity in today’s cinema landscape: grown up sci-fi that trades on questions over explosions and ideas over special effects. Not to say that what effects there are, such as the robot Ava (played with quiet perfection by Alicia Vikander) aren’t spectacular, but the film concentrates itself elsewhere. The plot concerns a genius young programmer (Domhall Gleeson) who is invited to spend a week at the mansion of his reclusive boss Nathan (Oscar Isaac), and perform tests upon the robot Ava to confirm if Nathan has indeed invented AI. Ex Machina draws strong performances from its three leads - in particular, a transformed and unrecognizable Isaac - and has a smart script with twists and turns that surprise but never feel forced. It might just restore your faith in sci-fi
CAMERON: It Follows
Horror Films (excluding any film to do with James Wan) have been truly a lacking genre, but with the premiere of It Follows, I was blown away by the unsettling suspense, which was created, ending in a spectacular film. The constant reminder that it is always following you at all times, creating such an uneasy feeling, that the entire film I could help but be on the edge of my seat wondering where and when it would appear. The acting was incredible in this film, and the cinematography truly helped push along the plot with allowing things to be seen or not see at just the right moments. It Follows revamped indie horror films, and helped tell large studios what we REALLY want from horror film, and that’s why it takes my #4 spot.
Best Movies of 2015 #5
For the first time ever we’re bringing you the best movies of 2015! This list is a bit different from our comic section in that we’re just picking the top five movies of the year and ever writer is getting their own pick. Without further ado, here’s the #5 movies.
DAVE: Going Clear: Scientology & The Prison of Belief
Writer-director Alex Gibney’s eye-opening documentary about Scientology is gruesomely fascinating. You won’t be able to look away as Gibney tracks the history of the “church” from the wonky utopian vision of science fiction writer and compulsive liar L. Ron Hubbard through to its present day incarnation as a celebrity fronted, tax-free “shell company”. Former members raise allegations of both mental and physical abuse which are shocking, but perhaps the most terrifying scene is archive footage of Tom Cruise, cackling like a maniac while rambling paranoically about “suppressive people”. After you watch Going Clear you won’t look at this religion (if that’s what it truly is) in the same way again.
CAMERON: Insidious Chapter 3
This made my list for a lot of reasons. Being a 3rd film in a trilogy of horror puts you at quite a disadvantage, but not only that, the director was a first time director. IC3 is written and directed by Lea Whannel who wrote the other two Insidious films. IC3 is the story of Lin Shaye’s character, Elise and her coming out of retirement (fighting spirits basically) to help a young girl who thinks she is contacting her mother. This is also where she meets Specs and Tucker. This film hit every note for me. The humor was spot on and its sense of suspense and unknowing of when something could hit you next, really was bone chilling. I don’t like scary movies that are strictly jump scares. When you build suspense and then finally scare someone, it is almost painful, and Insidious Chapter 3 did that amazingly, which is why it earns by #5 spot.
DUSTIN: Bone Tomahawk
This film was a Western on a budget. The cast was small, the locations were controlled, but at the end of the day it was incredibly successful in its execution. Kurt Russell and the other leads are fantastic. Each is their own character, with their own style of delivery. In particular, Matthew Fox’s character and delivery are memorable and one of the best performances of his career. It’s a Western with a Horror twist and yet it executes both genres in perfect tandem.
Worst of 2015: Worst Comic Book Movie or TV Show
In our opinion you can't have a "Best of" list without the "Worst of" to go with it. Welcome to our worst picks of 2015. Think of it like the Razzies for comics. Each writer will make their own pick so sit back enjoy "Worst Comic Book Movie or TV Show".
KEVIN: Avengers: Age of Ultron (Marvel Studios)
Give the ole CBMFP a listen this week to hear Kevin's pick!
STEVE: Supergirl/"Flarrow"
Vapid swill wrapped up in empty platitudes to impress the rubes.
DUSTIN: All Comic Book TV Shows (ALL)
I stopped watching everything on network tv because they're all shitty. Flash, Arrow, Supergirl, Agent's of Shield. They all suck a big one. I can't wait for Lucifer and I hope it makes it to six episodes before getting cancelled becuase it's called "Lucifer."
ASA: Gotham (Fox/WB)
Oof, what to say that has not been said before. Portraying Gotham city without Batman might work (see Gotham Academy and Gotham Central), exploring the early days of Batman might work, focusing on Batman's villains might work, but Gotham simply does not work. Trapped in the awkward intersection between the camp of the last live-action Batman tv show and the dark atmosphere of Nolan's films, Gotham diappoints on every level. Further, while I would normally not claim that staying loyal to the source material is a must for adaptations like this, it betrays the fundamental wrong-headedness of the creators that they seem incapabale of using any of the material that makes the Bat mythos so interesting. At least we got Daredevil this year.
DAVID: Gotham (Fox/WB)
I cannot stand this show. The first season was so bad that I couldn't bring myself to return for the second entry, especially when other comic-book shows with a similar tone such as Daredevil and Jessica Jones are so superior in every way. FOX have taken the fantastic source material (Brubaker and Rucka's Gotham Central) and stripped it of anything interesting or believable. How anyone is still left to defend this mess of a show is beyond me.
Best of 2015: Best Comic Book Movie or TV Show
Welcome to our end of the year list! Unlike other sites, we give all of our writers the opportunity to make their own picks. What you'll read below and on the rest of the site is a list of each individual writer's picks. As much as we like making our choices, we love hearing yours so let us know what you'd pick for the "Best Comic Book Movie or TV Show" below in the comments.
KEVIN: Daredevil (Marvel Studios/Netflix)
Listen to Kevin talk about Daredevil on this week's episode of the CBMFP!
ASA: Daredevil (Marvel Studios/Netflix)
In my humble opinion, prior to 'Daredevil' there had never been an excellent superhero tv show. While the CW may have popularized the concept with its candy-colored soap operas, Daredevil legitimized the superhero show in one week of madcap binging. Paced like a highbrow premium cable show, Daredevil incorporated all of the grit and characterization that have made the comic a fan-favorite. Perfectly cast and containing the MCU's first truly memorable villain, Netflix's first Marvel show soared to new heights. Further, perhaps most cheeringly, the show managed to achieve this quality without compromising on any of the comic's most important qualities.
JAMES: Daredevil (Marvel Studios/Netflix)
Daredevil was beautiful, magnificent and well done on almost every single level. The fictional "New York" in this show is becoming a real place to me filled with supers and hardcore baddies. I can only hope that it continues to impress. It is rare to have a show where you can feel for both the good and the bad alike. It feels complete. Daredevil has brought a gritty realism to a comic live action show where so many others have failed.
STEVE: Jessica Jones (Marvel Studios/Netflix)
While slow and repetitive at points, this series had great writing and some of the best use of framing I've seen on TV all damn year. It actually made me want to go back and read Bendis' Alias, which, given how little I like reading that particular chatty-cathy of a writer, is saying a lot. This is the superhero show we deserve, and makes everything on the CW/CBS - especially Supergirl - look like the trash it really is.
DAVID: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Marvel Studios/ABC)
Of course Daredevil and Jessica Jones were fantastic shows, I wouldn't argue anything otherwise. However, I feel like Marvel Studios' first foray into the world of television needs someone fighting in its corner as well. I'll be the first to admit that the first season of Agents of SHIELD was mediocre at best, but with season two the show really came into its own. The characters grew into genuinely interesting personalities, while the plot was more engaging than ever with twists and turns aplenty. Season 3 is yet to make its way to the UK, although from what I've heard the show is stronger than ever - easy to believe considering just how exciting the Season 2 finale ended up being. Those who understandably gave up on this show during its weak first season, I hope will come back and give Agents of SHIELD a second chance.
AUSTIN: One Punch Man (Viz/Madhouse)
I have been enjoying Jessica Jones. Daredevil was a huge deal for me, since he's my favorite superhero ever and a decent live-action adaptation was a long-time coming. But the One Punch Man anime adaptation is the most fun I have had watching anything in years. From the scorching opening theme, to the high production quality, to simply getting to watch Murata's punishingly superior art come to life in real-time, this show is killer.
DUSTIN: One Punch Man (Viz/Madhouse)
I was actually surprised by this one. Over the years I've made a rule for myself, that if I begin with the manga, I don't watch the anime. I couldn't help myself on this one and I'm glad I did because I love the anime. Be it for some different reasons than the manga, but I love it. Madhouse also redeemed themselves in my opinion after delivering some sloppy shit previously.
Another Superhero Summer
Summer is the traditional time of year where the movie studios roll out their biggest and most expensive productions. Every year, there is a race on to see which blockbuster can capture the public’s imagination and take some serious box office revenue. In recent years there’s been a move for superhero themed movies to take the top slot. Last year saw the incredible Guardians of the Galaxy take nearly $800 million worldwide in box office thanks to its great blend of action and humour. But what will be the superhero film that wins the honours in the upcoming summers?
X-Men Apocalypse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g53Mh4gUEac
The X-Men franchise has been a huge global hit and has been key to making Marvel Comics a world-beating entertainment company.
Since the first X-Men film was released in 2000, there have been eight highly successful sequels and spin-offs that have helped the series become the thirteenth highest-grossing movie franchise of all time. And already rumours are building as to what we can expect from X-Men Apocalypse when it hits cinema screens on 27 May 2016.
The cast is expected to feature big names such as James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender and Jennifer Lawrence as the main superhero characters. But the big attraction will undoubtedly be the Apocalypse villain who briefly featured at the end of X-Men: Days of Future Past and is rumoured to be the very first mutant. The Apocalypse character is thought to have emerged from ancient Egypt, so if you want to get a head start on the Egyptian superhero action, head to the Egyptian Cleopatra’s Gold themed slots at Uptown Aces for a taste of some ancient excitement!
Ant-Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdKf3MneyI
For those who can’t wait until 2016 for the next slice of Marvel action, then thankfully Ant-Man hits cinema screens this July.
Starring Paul Rudd as the petty crook who finds a special ant suit that makes him shrink in size, but greatly increase his strength, the film also features Michael Douglas as his mentor Dr Hank Pym, along with Corey Stoll as Ant-Man’s nemesis Yellowjacket.
And with a wonderful plotline in which our hero must save the planet through a highly imaginative heist, it looks like Ant-Man will be the next Marvel superhero to capture the public’s imagination.
Fantastic Four
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rRoD28-WgU
And finally, just in case there was any doubt over whether Marvel owns the summer blockbuster season, the Fantastic Four franchise returns again on 7 August with the imaginatively titled Fantastic Four.
This reimagining of Marvel’s longest running superhero team is apparently based on the Ultimate imprint of the series, rather than the mainstream version, and as such seeks to offer a darker, and sleeker retelling of the superheroes in their battle against arch-enemy Doom.
Group Review: Avengers: Age of Ultron
Well don’t say we didn’t give you time to see the movie because we did! That’s right, as is the tradition on the site when a new comic book movie is released we round up the gang and the interested parties give their thoughts and a score for the film. Today of course is the Avengers sequel, but you know what… there’s only like three of us on this thing… that might say more than the review. Here’s the synopsis:
The first Avengers film made like a billion dollars… they made a sequel by the same guy and with the same cast and added a few other characters and a new villain. Also there’s cameos… Do you like Marvel movies? Then you get the picture then.
SAMANTHA: 4/5
So this movie was one of those movies that takes a while to settle in your head. Although I liked it while I was watching it, I loved it after thinking about it. It had a lot of good qualities that a superhero movie needed. Some qualities that stood out for me were The Vision, the huge plot backdrop, the teamwork, and of course Scarlet Witch.
Not being a big A.I. fan, I didn’t think I would like The Vision or that he would be in it that much... but both of those fragments are wrong. He is in it a lot more than expected and he rocked it! Right away, he just looks so freakin’ cool. Then he plays this very nonchalant guy that can totally rock a cape. Paul Bettany plays him perfectly and almost makes me wonder if he himself is a robot…?
Then this movie came across bigger than the last one. Maybe just because it was mostly New York that we focused on and Ultron is everywhere, but either way the plot was huge. It felt like a huge crossover event that Marvel didn’t screw up. Leading into Civil War seems like a good step after this colossal story line. The first movie just introduced the team, this movie showed that these dudes are really superheroes on a grand scale, and now we move to the struggles of the hero/human aspect.
The teamwork was spot on. Even when the group was fighting, it seemed like a legit group of people fighting. Nothing was forced. And the action scenes that involved teamwork, such as Thor hitting Cap’s shield, made the sequences so tight.
Scarlet Witch is the woman! Everything she does is intriguing. I think introducing some new Avengers spices things up, but no one will add more spice than her. This is the main reason why this movie was so great!
Since overall, I enjoyed the movie I will only say one line about the wrongs in this film. The opening fight scene was too CGI’ed and Thor randomly leaving to go swimming and then randomly coming back felt out of place.
NICK: 4/5
I spent almost the whole two-and-a-half hour runtime of Age of Ultron holding my breath, waiting to be let down. The first Avengers movie felt like such lightning in a bottle, a first act executed so well in the solo films, and a stuck landing on the movie.
Luckily, Age of Ultron didn’t disappoint me.
The second installment in the Avengers franchise is as funny, if not funnier, than the first one. That serves it well in certain situations (like Rhodey trying to impress people with War Machine stories at a party), but other times it took me out of the movie. For example, given the trailers and literally any comic Ultron has ever been in, it was a little jarring to see him reacting to things so sarcastically (and the “I’ve Got No Strings” metaphor got beat to death). There’s internal logic behind it, but still, when your soulless A.I. villain rips a guy’s arm off and immediately does an “Ooooh, I’m so sorry, I think that’ll heal fine” reaction, it’s... weird. Not bad, not good; weird.
The one overwhelming thing I loved about Age of Ultron is its third act. After a couple hours of setting up future movies and introducing new characters and running the risk of getting kind of wander-y, the finale wraps up nicely. And if that whole sequence of the Avengers insisting that no civilians get hurt during their world-shattering final battle isn’t a huge fuck-you to Man of Steel, it still came off that way, and god bless you, Marvel, for making superhero movies where the superheroes save people.
I didn’t love this movie like I loved the first one. It did everything right, and the fight scenes were even more impressive, but it just didn’t fuck me up the way the first one did. Having said that, though, I have never been more hyped about Infinity War or Marvel’s Phase Three until this very moment, because holy crap you guys Infinity War is gonna rule.
DUSTIN: 3/5
Ha! This guy right? I know some of you were thinking it. Here’s the thing about this movie… it is every bit a sequel from the first. In fact it feels so much like the first movie that you could basically watch them back to back and not be lost or confused and maybe even wonder if you weren’t just watching a four hour movie that took a bathroom break and came right back.
And that’s okay. Isn’t that what the comic books do? Therein lies what I don’t like about it and subsequently Marvel’s comic books as well… not a lot changed. And that’s because there’s no danger. None of these characters are going to die (sure one supposedly does) and so the danger and really the feeling of danger is completely lost on the viewer or in the case of the comics the reader. Every character is a franchise and so every character is protected. Oh and I define change as something other than adding new characters and anew threat, that’s pretty much given.
It was entertaining though and that’s all I could ask for. For those who hated it because of casting or story direction I say to you that you were expecting far too much and it’s far too late to be complaining about any such things. The creative process can’t be questioned after the fact. You can criticize it, but not question it. Two different things, trust me. And if you didn’t like Black Widow then you should try reading her in comic book format because Whedon at least attempted to develop the character more than Marvel has since the character was created. She’s a former assassin… not a lot going on there which is why she’s been dumped with Hawkeye so much… nothing going on there either.
Overall if you enjoyed the first film there’s absolutely no reason for you not to enjoy this film. For me, well it’s just not special to see these characters on the screen anymore regardless of who they add to the roster because let’s be honest they’ll add every character they can.
Writer/Director: Joss Whedon Studio: Disney/Marvel Studios Rating: PG-13 Run Time: 2 hrs 21 min. Release Date: 5/1/15
Group Review: Daredevil 1.13 – Daredevil
Well we were supposed to have this final review for Daredevil up a little bit ago, but things happen, schedules get busy and here we are. This is it, the final episode of Daredevil titled “Daredevil” so that things could be real confusing. Unlike our first episode review we only have a few reviewers that have had the time to blaze through the series so check out what they thought about the season one finale.
NINA: 5/5
The Daredevil finale involved a lot of yelling on my end. And the faux-wrapping things up with twenty minutes left on the episode- solid way to stress out your viewers. There was so much I loved about this episode, and I had a really hard time coming up with things I didn’t like. When Leland died I knew we were in for a great finale, but this exceed my expectations.
The firefight on the bridge was the main source of my yelling uselessly at the screen. When Fisk started telling the Samaritan story I knew there’d be a rescue, but I didn’t expect it to be so bold or so blatant. Fisk managed to surprise me there.
I particularly loved that moment when Matt catches up to Fisk and it’s just Fisk darting away into the alley. Fisk was very much the cornered, wounded animal, and there was nothing intimidating about the way he ran. This big, hulking man looked a bit like a bug scurrying away. Fisk’s final, desperate attempts at beating Matt and getting out of there were reminiscent of Wesley’s “do you really think I’d put a loaded gun on the table.” They both got too cocky, they both underestimated the opponent, and they both put that loaded gun on the table within reach.
I don’t really have any negative comments about the episode. I got easily caught up in the action and drama of it, and I felt they wrapped up everything they needed to.
NICK: 4/5
Marvel’s Daredevil certainly does go out with the bang that it’s been promising for the first twelve episodes. Villains are defeated, but at what cost to the heroes?
There’s a lot that happens in the finale, plot-wise, but thematically, there are only a few big sequences. Foggy, Matt and Karen finally mend fences (which feels a little too “Oh, look how easy that was, we’re all friends again” after a couple episodes of Foggy and Matt being super petty); Fisk finally finds out the traitor in his organization all along was actually the asshole with a snarky retort at every turn; and the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen gets a costume to become a symbol for the city.
I don’t think I need to say anything about how amazing Fisk and Vanessa’s storyline was in the show. They decided to come at Fisk from a whole different direction than he’s usually treated to in the comics, and they made him not only surprisingly evil and brutal, but surprisingly innocent and damaged. There were so many opportunities for him to die from his injuries or commit suicide by cop (or, for a real shakeup, the devil in Matt Murdock could have won him over and he could have killed Fisk), but putting him in front of a white wall to think about how alone he is... amazing.
The suit was the most polarizing aspect of the series, it seems. I personally dig it, even if it is couched in a sort of lazy Dark Knight-ish back half of the finale. From the moment Fisk starts biblically monologuing, he becomes more Kingpin and less Fisk, while Matt finally becomes a superhero. It’s the moment where the “realistic” world of the show touches the membrane where it meets the comics, and it definitely worked for me. I’m not huge on biblical monologues from villains, but D’Onofrio kills it.
I don’t think anyone’s surprised that I am 1000% psyched for next season. Now if I can just wait a whole year for it.
DUSTIN: 3/5
I wanted to like this episode more. There’s a lot going on in the episode and I think there’s a decent amount of payoff for the overall season, but some of it comes too easily. The way they finally snag Fisk is extremely convenient and it all leads to a ridiculous mafia movie style montage with classic music playing over the imagery.
There is one really, really, bright spot in the entire episode and it’s not the final fight between Fisk and Daredevil. In fact that fight was the least satisfying battle of the entire season. No it was the bridge scene and Fisk’s monologue about himself. It was a bit long winded and I wish that they hadn’t cut to the goofy fuckers riding in the truck with him, but otherwise it was fantastic and completed his character development and journey. Everything about that bridge scene was baller as fuck.
My favorite thing had to be when Foggy completely moved on from Karen after saying one dickish thing and not attending a funeral because he was winning the fucking case against Fisk! It was kind of ridiculous that they even bothered building his interest in her just to throw it out the window the minute they could. Seriously they built it for ten episodes and killed it in two.
I did enjoy the last scene with Matt and Karen as it continued to give Karen’s character a lot of realism as she lived with her own actions. That was definitely one of the best things to come from the season. Oh and I hate the costume. It looked stupid and frankly the Ben Affleck suit looked way fucking better. In fact I’ve seen cosplay that looked better, but hey… I’m sure it’ll change by the next season.
Daredevil 1.13 “Daredevil” Director/Writer: Steven S. DeKnight Distributor: Netflix, ABC Films, Marvel Studios Runtime: 60 Minutes Exclusively on Netflix
Group Review: Daredevil 1.1 - Into The Ring
Tired of Daredevil yet? I hope not because you’re about to read the biggest group review on the site to date. Seriously everyone is watching this even if they’re not on the group review they’re watching it. There’s a lot to go over so a quick synopsis: Marvel got Daredevil back from Fox and they made a TV show. No teeter-tottering happens. You’ll figure out the rest.
Tired of Daredevil yet? I hope not because you’re about to read the biggest group review on the site to date. Seriously everyone is watching this even if they’re not on the group review they’re watching it. There’s a lot to go over so a quick synopsis: Marvel got Daredevil back from Fox and they made a TV show. No teeter-tottering happens. You’ll figure out the rest.
DUSTIN: 3/5
I’m going to keep mine short since I have the vantage point of knowing how much more there is to read on this. It’s was okay. It didn’t piss me off and the fighting looked good. Like honestly the best part of it was the fighting. The acting is okay as well, but Foggy is terrible and given way too much screen time. The way they show the powers isn’t terrible, but it’s not interesting either. Also the ending in which Karen just works for free and somehow manages to pay bills and keep in an apartment in New York was laughable. And the opening was laughable as well, but still managed to be better than the Fox version (R.I.P. #neverforget). (Also everyone is going to hate me for going first with that score, HA!)
AARON: 5/5
It's hard to watch this Daredevil and not compare it to that OTHER Daredevil. I know a lot of people don't like that movie, but I did. I thought the theatrical cut, while flawed, was enjoyable and the director’s cut elevated that to a flat out good movie. For what it was. But while that movie was very, very broad, almost to the point of camp, or, arguably, parody what Netflix has delivered is a much more subdued experience. The cast is small and tight with great chemistry between all members. The scale is much smaller and the portrayal of Daredevil's powers is much more subtle. The show benefits from this scaling down in every single way creating something that's much more involving, something much more intimate and ultimately something much, much better.
The highlight of the Daredevil movie that I thought might go missing is the relationship between Matt Murdock and Foggy Nelson. Affleck and Favreau had amazing chemistry and seemed to really like each other and have fun in their scenes which saved the movie every time they were on screen together. I’m happy to say that this Murdock and Nelson (Charlie Cox and Elden Nelson) rival that excellent relationship and may even surpass it by the end of the series. They really feel like two old friends who actually like each other.
In reading the previews for this critics were saying that the first two episodes create probably the best Marvel movie that's ever been produced, obviously minus the editing required to make it two episodes rather than a full movie. I would have to agree. Other than perhaps Winter Soldier this is some of the best Marvel has put out there. The acting is top notch by all cast members and the storytelling is phenomenal all while being shot like a big budget Marvel movie. It has the whole experience. It's hard to find a flaw in this and I'm looking forward to watching it all and moving on to the next series.
STEVE: 4/5
With so many hokey superhero shows out there that cater to the lowest common denominator of fanboy/girl-ism (Flash, Arrow and Powers, I’m looking in your direction), the nervousness I had about jumping into Netflix’s Daredevil was tempered only by my overall enjoyment of Marvel’s film and TV. Thankfully, that thread mostly holds steady in Daredevil, in what I found to be a promising start... like, literally. That has to be one of the dopest opening credits sequences of all time, am I right?
To get them out of the way first, the weakest parts of the show, for me, were the sometimes dicey acting of Elden Henson as Foggy and Deborah Ann Woll as Karen Page, although the latter did show an impressive emotional range. There was also a LOT of exposition dumping; though admittedly, that’s to be expected in a first episode with such a long-established character.
It was a foregone conclusion that this would be a “crime procedural” of-sorts, which I usually hate with a fierce and unwavering passion. But here I didn’t mind it so much. In fact, I liked the mystery of it all, in particular how the writing led the story nicely into an overarching post-Avengers/New York world; the main theme being best expressed in one mobster’s line, “Heroes and their consequences are why we have these opportunities.”
The character of Daredevil, himself, was articulated on the screen with a thankfully deft approach; his powers were subtly shot, his badassery muted by his upstart status, and yet it all came together in some pretty amazing action sequences, which fit in well to the premiere’s applaudable pacing.
With a great Marvel Cinematic Universe setup and tie-in, a genuinely intriguing and believable tone, fun writing which the actors are clearly having a good time chewing on, and gobs of atmosphere that makes the city and its players feel fairly well-established, Daredevil is a superhero show I am actually excited to watch and a good omen for the Netflix/Marvel shows to come!
BRIAN: 4/5
Daredevil toes the line between being a stereotypical male power fantasy and a decent sort of show. The action is great, the acting is solid, and the world is kept pretty low-key and realistic. Hell's Kitchen isn't shot as some sort of German Expressionist Gotham fantasy, just a rough and tumble neighborhood populated by pretty real people. But there's also a strong tendency for men to control everything and for women to only be victims or servants. Thankfully none of the good guy leads seem to be assholes.
So far Daredevil seems ready and able to make being a blind and Catholic kid cool again.
NINA: 5/5
The pilot was really fun to watch: suitably dark but not overwhelmingly so. We jump right into the action but aren’t left completely – sorry - blind. It was a good balance of background information and plot. The fight scenes were beautifully choreographed and lovely to watch.
Cox and Henson work really well together, playing off each other nicely and making Murdock and Nelson’s relationship both believable and enjoyable. I loved the little moments where Nelson has to narrate something for Murdock (“the realtor just curtsied”); no one knows how to act around Murdock, and Nelson jumping in to call them out, keep Murdock aware of what’s happening, and diffuse an awkward situation is appreciated.
I’m a fan of Cox’s Daredevil; he exudes both grace and power, and is easy to like and to root for. His theatrics as a vigilante are simple but impressive. I thoroughly enjoyed the pilot and am definitely on board for this series.
AUSTIN: 5/5
A couple of summers ago I was watching my friend's comic shop for a few hours, during which time I got to read any comics I wanted (which I will take over health benefits any day). I picked up an issue in the middle of Waid's run, never having read Daredevil before. I proceeded to read everything in the shop that was Daredevil related: "End of Days," "Born Again"-- all of it. Daredevil ruined all other superheroes for me in a matter of hours.
Assuming it is even possible for me to pick a favorite Daredevil story, it would be "The Man Without Fear": Miller's five-issue re-framing of Daredevil's origin story. I loved it because, having read backwards through the canon, I could see that even when Miller made changes, the sum of everything he did with his story brought the essential qualities of who Matt Murdock is as a man and as a hero to the forefront.
This show is doing that very same thing. It's highlighting what makes the man by showing who he is whether or not he's got the fancy red uniform yet. The show is doing a wonderful job of revealing how Matt's past is not just something that happened before the present: it's something that's fluid and contiguous with his present experiences as an amazing vigilante moron who takes just a little bit too much after his father.
DAVID: 4/5
I had relatively low hopes for this show going in having been less than impressed by the teaser trailer, and so with that in mind I can honestly say that this show is ‘better than expected.’ If that doesn’t sound like a glowing endorsement to you, it’s because it isn’t. That’s not to say that I don’t like this show, quite the opposite! I see a lot of potential for Daredevil to grow into something really spectacular. But this episode is far from perfect, with the most significant flaw to me being the weak performance from Elden Henson aka Foggy Nelson.
This is particularly painful for two reasons, the first being that Foggy has some of the best lines in the show but they just don’t land the way they should, thanks to Henson’s sub-par delivery. Second, the friendship between Matt and Foggy is a huge part of the Daredevil comics, but quite frankly there is no chemistry between the two on-screen. I don’t believe that these two guys have been best friends for years because the interactions they have just feel awkward, as if they barely know each other. Heck, Ben Affleck and Jon Favreau had a more believable friendship in that abomination from 2003.
Aside from Henson however, I have to say the casting here seems pretty solid. Cox is doing a good job as Matt Murdock and Deborah Ann Woll is a compelling Karen Page. The fight scenes are gripping, and the story has potential, although I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t confused me a little. I’m now three episodes in and still struggling to figure out what’s going on, which worries me because I don’t know whether things are intentionally mysterious or just poorly explained. Other small complaints aside – the lack of Murdock’s trademark radar sense being one of them – this was a good start for Daredevil and for the Marvel-Netflix collaborations and I’ll definitely be sticking around to see where things go.
SAMANTHA: 2/5
Let’s just dive right in to why this episode gets a bad rating from me. First, the not-so-dark episode. When reading reviews online, I looked forward to all of them stating how dark Daredevil was going to be and how much difference it had between the recent Marvel movies, being that of its intensity. I found none of this to be true. The show actually had a balance of dark and then a very distinctive light side; Foggy. It didn’t come across as all that ruthless but exactly how most action movies turn out; a little fun mixed with action. The only thing that was truly and completely dark was the lighting of the episode. Seriously, I must be getting old.
Secondly, the portrayal of women sucked. I am not expecting some new woman side kick or for some women to dropkick her kidnapper, but the fact that ALL the women were damsels in distress didn’t sit right with me. Not even a cop, hell not even a background character. They all just cried or screamed. Ugh. It was frustrated. Plus they could have easily interwoven something into it. Again, this is a first episode review, so I am sure there will be a woman who steps up, but this episode sucked.
Thirdly, why the hell at the end of the episode does Matt have his mask off on the rooftop? It would have been more effective if his eyes were covered to show how powerful his other senses are. Plus I doubt he would risk at moment he be identified. Just didn’t make sense.
Then there are things that did work; the fighting and the bad guys. The fighting was sweet. I loved how vulnerable but badass Matt was. Nothing is better than just hand-to-hand fighting and this episode exemplified that. Then the bad guys. There are a lot. I liked all the different plots going on. And even if you don’t know who they all are, it was easy to see.
All in all, I’ll go back because I think it will get better. But first episode wise, I didn’t dig it.
DANIEL: 4/5
I'm gonna start by saying I really enjoyed the first episode. Going in to a Netflix show is very different to a cable show. Because they drop the whole season in one go they don't have to stick to the episodic formula. They could of done it as a twelve hour movie (which would of been great).
Things I likes were; the short origin story, the moody/dark tone. I didn't know how I felt about Charlie Cox when the released the stills. But after the first 15 minutes he became Matt Murdock. The starter costume was pretty bad ass. The quick primer on the bad guys, they show us enough to know who's pm what side.
Things I didn't like were the quick wrap up of the case and hiring of the girl. It felt a bit too convenient. But I have faith that the rest of the show will prove it's not so cut and dry. The guy who gets a gun back and laughs like everything is okay again (you couldn't hit him last time with the gun, why would another make you feel safe?)
NICK: 5/5
Speaking to you from the far future of Daredevil episode 9, I’m going to try and keep this review focused on just the first episode, and not let the rest of the series color my thoughts one way or another. Such is life, when you’re trying to review a series in a medium where it is designed to be binged.
Having said that, holy living crap, I love this show.
I did some soul searching recently and realized that, judging by sheer number of amazing runs (and particularly the effect the Bendis/Maleev run had on a bright-eyed, younger version of myself), Daredevil is my favorite superhero. I don’t hate the Ben Affleck version like some people do, but this series is for sure showing us the way Daredevil should be done.
Rather than focus on fancy radar tricks and radioactive waste giving a boy superpowers, we get flashbacks to happier times with Battlin’ Jack; we get impressive crime drama; we get phenomenal long-take fight choreography; and we get a Matt Murdock who is charming and handsome, but who also seems unestablished. We’re getting the origin of Daredevil without getting the origin story of Daredevil, which is an important distinction to make.
How many times in the last decade and a half have we had to sit through Peter Parker taking a trip to a laboratory, getting a spider bite, watching his Uncle Ben die in his arms? So many times, gang. So many. And here, we skip that. We already know the key parts of Daredevil, and if not, we get a lot of it through context in the show. It doesn’t waste the first episode with things the audience is smart enough to know or to figure out as they go, it drops us into the conflict.
Aside from the story, the cast in this show is perfect. In reviewing the first episode, I’ll spoil things and say I can’t tell you about the Kingpin or Ben Urich--but Matt, Foggy, Karen, even fucking Leland Owlsley are pitch perfect for their roles, and watching them inhabit the Marvel version of Hell’s Kitchen over the next 12 episodes is going to be a ton of fun.
I could write another 500 words about this, but Dustin is making stabby motions from across the bullpen. If this show continues to hit this mark all season and runs for like, seven seasons, it will be a strong contender for my favorite show of all time.
JAMES: 5/5
OK, first off, I want to let everyone know how generally nutrageous I am over Daredevil. Old DD was one of my early favorites as a youth and he has remained that way since. We are talking the early eighties for me here so I have been a hornhead fanboy for well over 30 years. Anyway, in order to do this review, I had to channel out those biases and go from a completely objective standpoint. I had to look at this episode as a person who is a N.E.R.D. (Never Ever Read Daredevil) and look at it from those eyes so as to give an honest and up front take. Here is what I have…
The title sequence was ok. It reminds me of the opening to Hannibal which tells me it has been done before, but it didn’t feel like a complete knock off. As for the story, I liked it. I got the sense through the episode that Hell’s Kitchen is a tight knit place and the characters who live there are intricate parts of the machinery of it all. They are all local and have familiarity in it, making the neighborhood more realistic and believable to me. It’s like they didn’t just drop some characters in like so many stories do. The landscape is as much of a character here as the actual characters are. These people seem real. I give big pluses for that.
Our main characters, Matt Murdock, Foggy Nelson, and Karen Page seem very real and the story feels like something you would read right out of the today’s headlines. The evil and corruption depicted are legit and it affects all of our characters in the way that it does. It especially affects Matt who has decided to say to hell with his disability and take on the baddies in spite of the fact that he is blind. The main bad guy, an unknown in this episode, wields some serious threatening power. This is a person to be reckoned with and Matt looks like he will be having his work cut out for him as things progress. With the second half of the story, we hit some serious action and an even more serious montage set of the bads at work. This was particularly sweet and makes your mouth water for more. All in all, I think I liked the realness feeling of it all. It seemed more real than your typical superhero fare. And I must say that this was a first episode that left me no doubt that I would watch another. That is my simple N.E.R.D take on the whole episode.
Now on the fanboy side who has lived and breathed DD for many years… Let’s just say that I liked it significantly better than the movie version. The movie sucked. This episode did not, AT ALL! Frank Miller’s version of Murdock’s Hell’s Kitchen is everywhere. And the dark tones, though a little too dark during the big fight sequence, is perfectly suited for the character. The whole episode teases the watcher regarding what Daredevil can do and is capable of doing if pushed too far. And like his Pop Jack, Matt may get knocked down, but he will always get up. It all spelled for a phenomenal first episode. The only skill that I must practice in watching this series from here on out is restraint, as I want to soak up every glorious minute of it without going on a multi-hour gluttonous binge. I flat out loved it and am so glad to see a solid made for TV series come out that is worthy of the character it portrays. Hope this is a trend for up and coming hero series.
Daredevil 1.1 - Into The Ring Director: Phil Abraham Writer: Drew Goddard Distributor: Netflix, ABC Films, Marvel Studios Runtime: 60 Minutes Exclusively on Netflix
Group Review: Gotham – Episode 1 "Pilot"
What type of site would we be if we didn’t cover one of the biggest comic book TV shows to come along in the past few years? The WB and Fox have pulled out all the stops for Gotham and so the reviewers of Comic Bastards sat down and gave it a viewing. Each participating writer will give their thoughts and a score to give you an idea of the episode.
What type of site would we be if we didn’t cover one of the biggest comic book TV shows to come along in the past few years? The WB and Fox have pulled out all the stops for Gotham and so the reviewers of Comic Bastards sat down and gave it a viewing. Each participating writer will give their thoughts and a score to give you an idea of the episode. First the synopsis: A new recruit in Captain Sarah Essen’s Gotham City Police Department, Detective James Gordon is paired with Harvey Bullock to solve one of Gotham’s highest-profile cases: the murder of Thomas and Martha Wayne. During his investigation, Gordon meets the Waynes’ son, Bruce, now in the care of his butler Alfred Pennyworth, which further compels Gordon to catch the killer. Along the way, Gordon must confront gang boss Fish Mooney, as well as many of Gotham’s future villains, such as Selina Kyle and Oswald Cobblepot. Eventually, Gordon is forced to form an unlikely friendship with Wayne, one that will help shape the boy’s future in becoming the Dark Knight.
Brian: 4/5
There’s a scene in Gotham that was beautifully symbolic and full of an artistic deliberateness that felt like a self-assured challenge. And no, I’m not going to tell you the one I’m talking about. Just suffice it to say that this scene showed the best that this show could be even though it was sometimes surrounded by various bits of clunky foreshadowing and unnecessary character introduction. But even after all the names have been dropped and the references referenced, there is still a strong backbone to Gotham that should allow it to grow into a good show.
Ben McKenzie as James Gordon has the right combination of personal grit mixed with a bit of a rookie’s self-doubt to be both assertive and believable. He’s much less of a cartoon character than the surrounding cast and this is what will make this show watchable even as the freaks start to develop into their costumed dopplegangers. A bit more actual police procedural work would be a welcome addition and hopefully they avoid the “grim and gritty for grim and gritty’s sake” that has become the clichéd crutch for any sort of crime, horror, or fantasy writing.
Like a lot of people who maybe just wanted to catch some of this show, I forgot that it was going to be on. Luckily I caught a commercial of it. So already it wasn’t a great sign since I didn’t even take the time to set a reminder. Anywho, let’s start out with the positives.
What went right: There was a good mixture of villains that, let’s face it, could make or break a show. I think leading with multiple villains allows for the show to easily move onto another villain if one fails. My favorite so far was Ivy or later to be known as Poison Ivy. She was a creepy child hiding behind those plants. But since we may only see more of the adult villains, I would have to go with The Penguin. I always thought more could be done with this villain, and Gotham is the perfect place to introduce a psychopath based off of a bird so we can get more background story of the dude. I also liked the backdrop of Gotham. I think they did a great job of setting up a believable place of crime.
What went wrong: The story was a tad slower than I expected and not just with its action because that I knew but the progression of plot. It seems this show could be a half hour and that would be a great show. Now I love Gordon and all that, but I did think the stars of the show were the villains and Bruce. So why not focus more on them? The story can still move with Gordon but with more of the interesting stories. And my last thing involves Catwoman. She looked awesome and adorable all at the same time. I really wish some sort of interaction between her and Bruce would have taken place in the first episode though. It would have connected it all instead of making her look like a creep.
All in all, I will be back for more of the show and hope that our villains can shine.
The thing about this pilot episode is that it had some good and a lot of bad which to me makes it fall about average. It was a better premiere than Agents of S.h.i.e.l.d., Constaintine and especially Flash, but it wasn’t much better.
I tried not to form any opinions about the episode until the third act of the show, but the very first one was, “Are they really going to cram every character they teased into this first episode?” The answer was an annoying, “yes.” It’s not that I have a problem seeing the villains before they’re in their costumes and frankly with this “Smallville on Fox” approach it’s required. I have no doubt that we’ll see a young Harvey Dent, Hush, Bane, Ras Al Ghul, Talia Al Ghul and maybe even Killer Moth. Frankly I wouldn’t put it past the producers at all, but to have so many in the first episode and so many connected to the Wayne’s death… well it’s not great, it’s overkill.
If they had shed some of the cast I think there could have been a decent story for the pilot, but instead we’re given very little time with our main characters Gordon and Bullock. When I say very little time I don’t mean screen time I mean actual character development time which would have really benefitted the third act.
The one thing I loved about the show was the scenery. The city looked like Gotham. It had personality and every chance they had they reminded you of that. For the first time in a long while I saw Gotham on my TV screen and that… that made my heart jump.
There were three big crimes in this episode; the killing of the Wayne’s made zero sense and I don’t mean the mystery behind the murder itself because that’s a given. It was awkward and drawn out and really there was no reason to leave Bruce alive. No one interfered, there were no police sirens and the retconned appearance of Catwoman didn’t even play into the scene as you would have expected. It was just clumsy and pointless… just like revamping Bruce’s origin in the first place.
The second crime was Jim Gordon… what the fuck did they do with this character? You like him for being a straight cop in Gotham, but then they instantly ruin his character by the end of the episode. I don’t really know if I believe in the good heart of Jim Gordon due to situation he was put in by the writers. It was disappointing and that disappointment was fully realized with the terrible scene with Gordon and Bruce at the end. Whoever thought the last two scenes were the right way to end the show thought wrong.
The last crime is that you don’t need to know a thing about the comic books to watch this show. Granted that’s pretty standard with the TV medium, but you’d think that with this being a Batman show that there would be some resemblance of a storyline from any of the comics… I mean it’s not like there isn’t a huge back log of issues to pull from. I know TV isn’t comics and that comic fans aren’t the demographic they’re going for, but it just moves us all one step closer to the day that we don’t need the source material for projects like these. Think about that before you call me a fanboy or pretend that I don’t understand the entertainment industry.
I’ll continue watching, but much like Agents of S.h.i.e.l.d. you’re only getting one season to make it worth my time.
Monday’s on Fox Air Date: 9/22/14
Dual Review: Batman: Assault on Arkham
At one point the WB animations based on DC Comics titles were a special treat with its quality production and classic stories. Now it’s a bit of a hit-or-miss as it tackles new stories and in this case spun-off of the popular Arkham video game series; how will this one score? Well you’ll have to read Dustin and Kevin’s opinions about the film after the synopsis
At one point the WB animations based on DC Comics titles were a special treat with its quality production and classic stories. Now it’s a bit of a hit-or-miss as it tackles new stories and in this case spun-off of the popular Arkham video game series; how will this one score? Well you’ll have to read Dustin and Kevin’s opinions about the film after the synopsis: When the government teams up a group of supervillains with the code name Suicide Squad and forces them to break into Arkham Asylum to bring back top-secret information the Riddler has stolen, Batman soon becomes involved. But things go from bad to worse when one of the Squad (Harley Quinn) frees the Joker, who has the means to not only blow up the asylum, but most of Gotham City as well.
Kevin: 5/5
Batman: Assault on Arkham single handily breaks the string of mediocre to bad DC comic book inspired movies. It take the dynamic and beauty of The Suicide Squad, and knowing that brand may not be enough; adds the strength of the Batman Arkham series in a paring that works very well together.
Even though the feature is based on existing properties it does a great job in meshing the two together, all the while making use of its PG-13 rating. That extra leeway really lets the content that would come with a bunch of crazy villains forwarding the narrative. Plus without the shackles of a comic book arc that is trying to be recreated for the screen there is a lot more freedom. From side-boob, sassy dialog to heads popping off, this isn’t your father’s Suicide Squad. Each character is given enough time to shine as they all jock for position and also letting the audience experience some lower rung DC alumni that they may never have known existed. Granted the movie pushes main stays like Harley Quinn and Deadshot, but something tells me that old King Shark will be walking away with some new fans.
From the animation to the voice acting, the experience is top-notch. The action looks great, epically the confrontations with Batman. They’re fast, smooth, and awesomely violent. But most importantly they are a blast to watch. The voice acting works well due to the fact you have fan favorite Kevin Conroy as Batman and Troy Baker, who does a great Mark Hamill-ish Joker. But the one who takes the cake is CCH Pounder’s performance as Amanda Waller. She is so good in setting precedence in her delivery and sets such a high bar for quality that she almost seals the show… almost.
Dustin: 5/5
At first I was worried about this film. The opening wasn’t the strongest, but then once you got past the annoying club mix song and the real story began, well it was one hell of a movie. I hope that they do more PG-13 animations because this one was able to have a level of maturity that some of the previous animations are attempting and failing to reach.
Now that doesn’t mean that all of their animations should be mature; after all even I was a bit shocked to see Harley Quinn wrap her legs around Deadshot, naked in bed and yell “Yahtzee.” In fact there did seem to be mature scenes for the sake of being mature, but it wasn’t terribly distracting and was actually a welcomed change from the previous WB film Son of Batman.
What helped with the characters was the voice acting. The voice actors actually tried to embody the characters rather than putting stars of other WB shows in the lead roles and telling them to talk normal. This cast though, delivers some of the best performances in animation and really brought each and every character to life no matter how small the role may have been. They were the Suicide Squad.
The action played a key role in the success of the film as well. The fights felt real as each character played to their strengths and some fight choreography was borrowed from live action movies which worked out quite well. With the action came the danger; they are the Suicide Squad so they can die at any moment and the film does just that. Don’t get too comfortable or your favorite character could bite the big one.
Overall this is by far the most successful WB animation since just before they announced the final line up for the Premiere line. The voice acting was top-notch, the animation was spectacular and the overall story was enjoyable and entertaining. Hopefully they take some notes from this one and deliver more like this.
Directors: Jay Oliva, Ethan Spaulding Voice Director: Andrea Romano Writer: Heath Corson Studio: WB Price: $24.98 Release Date: 8/12/14
Dual Review: Oculus
Well two Bastards had a chance to sit down with the Relativity, WWE and Fox’s latest home release Oculus. Their thoughts are below, but first he’s what the film is about:
Well two Bastards had a chance to sit down with the Relativity, WWE and Fox’s latest home release Oculus. Their thoughts are below, but first he’s what the film is about: Seeing is deceiving in this disturbingly original horror flick that reflects heart-stopping terror as you’ve never imagined! It’s been ten years since the lives of siblings Tim (Brenton Thwaites; Maleficent) and Kaylie Russell (Karen Gillan; “Doctor Who”) were shattered and Tim was convicted of murdering their parents. Now released from a mental institution, Tim wants to move on, but his sister has other plans. Kaylie blames their childhood nightmare on the Lasser Glass—an antique mirror with a grisly history—which she intends to destroy by any means possible, even as the mysterious entity continues to cast sinister spells on anyone who gazes into it.
Kevin: 4/5
There were two things that drew me to Oculus. First I love horror movies and second was Katee Sackhoff. I’m a fan of her look and work and to see her in a horror movie was all I needed, even though she was all “momed-up”.
As for the horror/thriller aspects Oculus knows exactly what it is and what it is trying do. It’s a simple narrative about a haunted mirror that has wrecked generations of families. Now a brother and sister form a tag team to get revenge and destroy the mirror due to their family being victimized. It’s a simple tale that for 90% of the movies stays in one location, the house. The sister has a contingency plan that’s believable and all they have to do is keep their wits about them and destroy the mirror.
It’s a difficult task for a writer to keep the narrative in one location and keeping it interesting. If done poorly it can be hard for the audience to endure and hurt the experience. Oculus keeps that in mind by using the siblings’ past experiences as a point to jump to keep things fresh. Which works as builds the relationship of the protagonists. If you want to see the one location narrative done well, check out one of my favorite movies 2DLK. They did one location perfectly.
The other intricate piece to have in this kind of narrative is the performances. All of which were very well done. Karen Gillan steals the show as she cuts a monologue about the mirror and gives exposition the whole time. It was fast and seamless but most of all it worked to catch the audience up on things while it showed her passion for the defeating the mirror. The other stand out performances where from the children played by Garrett Ryan as young Tim and Annalise Basso as young Kaylie. The reason I give them a nod for doing a good job is because they are kid actors and everyone knows that kid actors suck. These children did not…too much.
Oculus has some very interesting moments and controls its pace very well. It uses a gimmick of a haunted mirror in satisfying way and keeps things fun as the two siblings’ battle to figure out what’s real as they attempt to outlast the horror. At the end of the day Oculus is worth a viewing.
Oh and hit me up if you want to hear me pitch a sequel!
Dustin: 4/5
I had a similar reason for wanting to check out this movie, but while Kevin was all about Sackhoff, I was all about the former Doctor Who companion Karen Gillan making what I believe is her American film debut. One thing I’ll say is that you could hear her fighting back her Scottish accent and really I wanted to hear her let it rip.
What I really enjoyed about this film was that it was a visual delight. The camera angles not only brought a sense of terror, but at times they just presented a beautifully laid out scene. The great thing about the mirror was that it allowed the story to do a ton of creepy things that were all within the realm of possibility. All-in-all it looked like director Mike Flanagan wanted the mirror to come across as a living thing and he succeeded in doing just that.
The monologue in the house is definitely one of the best parts of the film. It gives you hope for the characters, but the movie doesn’t stumble here. It wastes no time destroying that plan and doesn’t use it as safety net like other horror movies tend to do. What's even better is that the plan is sound, which goes to show just how dangerous the mirror is.
I really enjoyed this movie. The ending was a bit of a “fuck you”, but it worked and they earned the right to do that. If there was a sequel I would definitely check it out, but it would need as powerful of a cast of actors as this film had. As great as it was visually, the actors carry the film tremendously.
Director: Mike Flanagan Writers: Mike Flanagan, Jeff Howard Studio: Relativity, WWE, Fox Run Tim: 105 Mins Release Date: 8/5/14
Group Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Well they remade the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. By now you probably know what it’s about and all the crap with it so we’ll spare telling you what the film is about. If you want to hear our scene for scene (practically) breakdown then check out this week’s CBMFP/Save It For The Podcast.
Well they remade the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. By now you probably know what it’s about and all the crap with it so we’ll spare telling you what the film is about. If you want to hear our scene for scene (practically) breakdown then check out this week’s CBMFP/Save It For The Podcast.
Samantha: 0/5
As for the movie, I agree with what every sane person is saying. Megan Fox had to carry this movie, and she couldn’t. The plot doesn’t even make sense because why does Sack’s need the ooze in the first place? Couldn’t he have just released some other type of disease that he had the antidote for instead of betting on his 15-year-old project that went up in flames to have survived and magically be brought the Turtles by his dead partner’s daughter who he has never had contact with? Dumb. Then when it came to the characters it all was bad too. The Turtles sucked, not a surprise. Will Arnett sucked, not a surprise. And why did the audience have to be reminded about Fox’s looks every three seconds? Didn’t she leave Transformers because of Bay over sexuallizing her? Arnett’s attempts were nothing short of pedophilia and Mikey’s attempts were nothing short of rapey (stolen from Dustin). Everything went wrong with this movie.
As for me personally, I saw this movie for the pure fact that non-comic fans would ask me all about it knowing that I am obsessed with TMNT. I didn’t want to let them down by saying I hadn’t it seen it, but now I am left in a bigger conundrum. Now I feel ashamed. Most of the audience for this movie were kids, and how do you gently knock down these kids from wanting to be TMNT fans? I feel like all my Turtle merchandise should say “I love TMNT, but not the new movie” because I feel that much shame being a fan right now. In the larger scheme of things, I know this movie and the next movie and probably the trilogy will long be forgotten and the Turtles will be remembered for the pure happiness they have brought through the comics, TV, and action figures, but for right now, it stings in my inner core.
Kevin: 1/5
TMNT is the perfect example of “too many hands in the cookie jar” or “just not giving a fuck”. Its story is so stupid and its antagonist so poorly handled its mind-blowing that it made it to screen. This film feels like tons of random scenes were shot and some unlucky asshole was forced to piece them together and make a coherent story. If you can make it through that then you can try to find and experience the Turtles in all their CG greatness and one ugly ass rat in Master Splinter.
Don’t get me wrong, there are a few things to enjoy in this movie. Megan Fox keeps her tradition in looking amazing and Mikey does have a few lines that did make me laugh out loud. There are also a few moments in the action were my head nodded in approval. But alas the moments are few and far between and none of it really constitutes paying full price to for a movie that comes off like a Turtle fart joke.
Dustin: -1,000,000/5 (That's negative one million over five)
I will never watch Into The Storm, in fact I’ve never watched Twister nor the majority of natural disaster movies. I rank natural disaster movies right beside the submarine genre and anything with monkeys. They’re three genres that I absolutely hate. Why am I bringing up Into The Storm? Because that’s the movie I bought a ticket for instead of giving TMNT my money, but I snuck into TMNT.
To say I hated this movie is an understatement. It’s a bad film and definitely one of the worst I’ve ever seen in my life. The thought of talking about it makes me cringe and the thought of seeing it ever again makes me want to remove both my ears and eyes. Seeing it was one of the worst experiences of my life. The Turtles have had a long legacy, but now they may have reached that Star Wars point in which I walk away.
Since I’ve covered a lot of my hated for how the Turtles look already on the site I’m instead going to focus on April and Shredder.
When Megan Fox was cast as April I think collectively everyone thought “well I guess April O’Neil is just going to be some sexed up damsel” and then they released photos of her jumping on a trampoline. It seems that in spite of what everyone thought they decided to make sure that they gave Fox ample screen time and a bigger role than what was needed for the story. She’s included in everything and very much is the only force that moves the plot forward. It is April O’Neil and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because she has a starring role, not a supporting role as everyone thought. Good for Fox, but bad for audiences as she doesn’t deliver a believable line of dialogue and is constantly out of breath, possibly so that her chest is constantly moving and her lips are always pouty.
The worst part of Megan Fox’s casting is that she’s completely blinded most Turtles fans with her looks. That’s all they care about and so seeing her in any way, shape or form makes for a “good movie” in their minds. Even worse, she attracts the same crowds that like Transformers and we all know that anyone that sees those movies don’t actually like cinema since they continue to give money to a man who hates them.
As for The Shredder… well they heard you internet and they decided “We won’t make the white guy Shredder” but they totally already had. The problem with Shredder is that originally it was a white guy, but after they had already finished they went back and shot three or four scenes in an attempt to make a second Shredder. Of course they didn’t say that they did this because then they’d have to admit that they were wrong and Michael Bay is never wrong right when he battles the nerds that give him money.
The biggest evidence I have of this is when white Shredder finds out that the Turtles are alive and goes to Japanese Shredder and tells him. Japanese Shredder then tells him, “I’ll have my victory and you’ll have your money” or something similar to that. Victory might be the wrong word, but the idea is the same. Tell me… why is Japanese Shredder’s only plan to poison the city? That’s his plan. He’s not going to reveal himself as the man with the cure or anything, he just wants to kill a lot of people and remain unknown… that doesn’t make any sense no matter how delusional the villain. James Bond villains have more of a reason than that. No what I think was the original plan was that white Shredder was going to do everything because that makes sense for his plan. Poison the city and get a lot of money. That’s logical, but when you divide it, it’s not logical.
Don’t even get me started on his super suit that did everything for him and ended up looking nothing like the promo stuff they released. I guess they had to go with a big fucking suit because the Turtles are all nine feet tall practically.
I think Samantha covered my thoughts on Michelangelo being rapey, but my god I fear for the next generation of boys that grow up imitating that.
Also they looked like creepy slug children as kids… I’ll leave you on that and just ask that you stop giving it money.
Director: Jonathan Liebesman Writers: Josh Appelbaum, Evan Daugherty, Andre Nemec Studio: Paramount, Nickelodeon Films and Platinum Dunes Run Time: 101 Mins Release Date: 8/8/14
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