I Hate TV Show Adaptions... But Here Are Five I Would Buy

There is something horribly boring about comic books based off of TV shows. For the most part the comic writer attempts to treat each issue as if it were an episode of the show, which rarely works in the comic medium. Even a thirty minute sitcom doesn't just automatically translate into thirty comic pages. Yet TV adaptations run rampant throughout comics. It makes me wonder who the hell is buying these books? Sure there are things like Buffy that have adapted to the comic style, but for the most part I'm completely uninterested in the book. It's not just live action shows either, I pretty much dislike all cartoon adaptations as well. The last Thundercats comic I read and liked was produced by Star and Marvel Comics and even as a child I thought they were only so-so. Yet cartoon shows continue to adapted day in and day out, how long before Adventure Time gets the comic treatment? There are of course anomalies like the Ninja Turtles that started as a comic and then became a TV show and went back to the comics, but the Turtles has also have success in movies, video games and action figures as well.

With the barrage of comic book's based of TV shows including, but not limited to: Buffy, Angel, Dollhouse, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Doctor Who, Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica, The X-Files, X-Men Adventures, Batman The Animated Series, Saved by the Bell, Alf, Chuck, Ghost Whisperer, The Bionic Man, Simpsons, Futurama, Warehouse 13, Eureka, CSI and I'm sure I'm missing more. At any rate, I started thinking about what TV shows I would read in comic format so here you go!

Wipe Out

Lose the crap at the bottom and you've got the first issue cover

Yeah, that's right a show that's only as entertaining as its contestants put into comic book format. I picture nothing but splash pages (pun intended) except when the hosts are on. Of course neither one would likely sign away their likeness which would open the door to new comic exclusive hosts. There would be monthly contests for fans to have their likeness drawn into the book and each issue would come with one of those annoying greet card chips that plays the theme song. I'm telling you this is the best worst idea ever! Make them all double sized issues and slap a $5.99 tag on that baby because I am there.

Grey's Anatomy

Which one of you went to rehab for hating gay people?

The worst thing about TV comic adaptations is that they're always properties that nerds are familiar with and that's why they suck. I've never watched Grey's Anatomy, but I would check it out in comic format. I'd love to see a crudely drawn Patrick Dumponme, or a pre-breast implant Katherine Heigl (yeah we know there fake). Also I saw on the Soup once that Sandra Oh was shanked by an icicle, here's the chance to make it look real rather than five people watching someone slip and then an icicle slowly breaks and stab her! I'm just saying that this is a good opportunity to really make sure I never watch this show, outside of ridiculous clips shown on other shows.

Cake Boss

Fuck you!

I hate this fucking show. I hate when they talk, I hate the cakes they make and I really don't understand why the show is longer than fifteen minutes. At any rate, this would be a great chance to basically adapt the show so that I don't have listen to this guys fucking voice and have an artist that doesn't suck when it comes to creating works of art on cake. Sure, it defeats the purpose of the show, but TLC loves money so they'll get over it real quick.


First season cast! Let's do it!

I actually watch this show and used to like it -- now I can't fucking stand it. I didn't watch most of last season and this season it couldn't be more apparent that people are just showing up for paychecks while their agent tries to find them something else. Fucking babies kill TV shows. A comic book would be a perfect opportunity to pull the whole "lost episode" bit and crack out more stories that actually do with solving the murder rather than the fact that the main characters are so different from one another. Seriously I'm down with this idea so get on it.


They're awesome huh? Except that one on the bottom right, he's retarded!

How the hell have the Gobots not made it to comics already? We all know that the Gobots (this needs a happen) are just a cheap knock-off of the Transformers, but I think it's time for a revival. I'm done with Transformers (Thank you very much Spielberg) so let's dust off these crappy 80's knock-offs and bring them back as cool as hell. Make it a three way dance with Jem and Big Foot and this has the markings of a success! -- Well there you have it, all terrible choices except for that last one which I will take full credit for if it actually happens. That being said you've just read the 600th post of Comic Bastards and for that I say, "Thank You" and "Don't take yourself to seriously... we don't."