I used to think that Archie comics were as annoying as the DJ on the soft rock station that cracks the radio safe, lame-ass joke and makes himself laugh so hard he could barely talk the listeners into “Careless Whisper.” Damn, I take it all back. In this ish, Sabrina the uber-hot witch wants to protect Riverdale from monsters. So she decides to cast a spell in the Shane Black Monster Squad inspired tree house.

In stumbles Veronica who wants to help the spell. However, Veronica thinks that Sabrina’s trying to say a “projection” spell. Things fall apart, the center cannot hold, and mere anarchy is loosed. The botched spell invokes monster version of the ageless Riverdale crew.

But from that Pandora’s box of trouble comes hope: The Demon, The Starchild, The Spaceman, and The Catman. That’s right—Kiss.

I was disappointed when Eric Carr was not respected in memoriam by appearing instead of Peter Criss. I would have jumped through the roof if The Fox was on drums for this Kiss outing.

Nevertheless, by the end of the issue the denizens of Riverdale are turning into Zombies. Only Kiss can save the day. I’ve uttered that phrase too many times in my life.

Gene breaths fire. Sabrina rocks stockings and a miniskirt. And the veneer is pulled off Archie comics and the public sees just how occult this comic is. I’ve suspected Archie of being a practitioner of the dark arts for some time. Now I know for sure. And The Duggar family will be the next ones to come out of the occult closet. Mark my words.

I can’t wait to read the next book and hope that Kiss saves Riverdale just like they beat the Phantom of the Park. The next book is even called “Creatures of the Night.” My pants just got real tight. Again.

Score: 4/5

Writer: Alex Segura Pencils: Dan Parent Publisher: Archie Comics Price: $2.99