Friday The 13th (2009)

059 - Welcome! It's Halloween time and while The Platform was a bit of a horrorish movie, we're really kicking off October with 2009's Friday The 13th. Why? Don't ask hard questions, instead ask why we talked about it for three hours... I'm wondering how that happened (and let us know if these shows need to be shorter!). Anyway, we'll be covering horror and Halloween movies the rest of the month so join us!

Synopsis:

Did you watch the original Friday the 13th's (that's a word -> 13th's)? Good news, you'll at least have to have some knowledge of them for this movie to make any sense. But it's got boobies and kills so that's definitely two things...

The Platform

058 - If we had a to pick a movie that represented 2020... this might be as close as we can get! It's depressing as all hell. There's subtext to the subtext and naked yoga between two cellmates. It's also in Spanish unless you mess up and choose the dub version, but we're #subs around here. Check it out on Netflix before listening if you don't want the entire movie spoiled for you.

Synopsis:

A vertical prison with one cell per level. Two people per cell. One only food platform and two minutes per day to feed from up to down. An endless nightmare trapped in The Hole.

The Devil All The Time

057 - When will we learn not to watch so much damn Netflix? The Devil All The Time is based off a book, which if you watch the movie, will be able to figure out by how bored you are. Not that books are boring, but movies based on books are. Are Kevin and Dustin up to the two hours and eighteen minute movie starring New Hollywood? You bet your Pepsi Cup we are!

Synopsis:

World War II is over... everyone is just regular sad and depressed now and men are pretty much shit... and Tom Holland attempts a third accent.

Superman: Man of Tomorrow

056 - At some point if DC/WB is going to keep making movies and comics titled "Man of Tomorrow" they're going to need to remember that the phrase is implying an eye on the future rather than this hogwash that tows the line of old and new. It looks like an anime, but it views like an old person wrote the weekend they didn't have their kids and had binged too many Superman The Animated Series episodes in a row... oh and fucking Lobo is in it. Yeah they love Lobo, they don't do anything with him, but they fucking love that dude.

Synopsis:

Superman's origin, but he's dumb and doesn't know what a Krypton is so he just punches his problems away until the world's most over experienced janitor gets forbidden juiced spilled on him. Now Superman, must call himself Superman and remember that hurting people isn't the bumblefuck Kansas way.

Guest House

055 - Are you as excited about Pauly Shore's return to cinema as we are? Well... just... don't. We're going to take our usual deep dive into 2020's Guest House, which says it's a comedy. Thanks for listening and we hope you make it to the end of this one, we barely did.

Synopsis:

You bought a house with Pauly Shore living in the guest house... what the fuck were you thinking? This is not the real synopsis, but probably should be.

The Honeymoon Phase

054 - We love our horror, thriller, sci-fi, with a healthy dose of indie as fuck. You've probably already been inside for thirty days, so two more hours with this podcast is nothing. Let's find out if romance is truly dead in this episode of Us Versus Movies.

Synopsis: Struggling young lovers, Tom and Eve, must endure a 30-day scientific experiment. Room, board, $50,000 and a month alone together in research facility housing. What could possibly go wrong.

Bill & Ted: Face The Music

053 - That's right, we gave you the weekend to watch this movie, because now we're going to spoil the hell out of it for you! It's the third installment of Bill & Ted, first they were excellent, then bogus... now they're faces or something. Anyway, we keep it under three goddamn hours on this episode of Us Versus Movies, but hopefully you're just here to see if it's worth watching or not and we will answer those questions several times on this episode.

Hackers

052 - I bet you can hear this fucking soundtrack in your head! Unless you're like Kevin and have never watched Hackers before recording this podcast. That's right, we return to the 90s for the cult classic Hackers, a movie about hacking... the planet possibly, it's a confusing movie in the middle of a confusing era. Get your roller-blades out and take a roll while listening to this episode of Us Versus Movies.

Synopsis:

A young boy is arrested by the U.S. Secret Service for writing a computer virus and is banned from using a computer until his 18th birthday. Years later, he and his new-found friends discover a plot to unleash a dangerous computer virus, but they must use their computer skills to find the evidence while being pursued by the Secret Service and the evil computer genius behind the virus.

Deathstroke - Knights and Dragons

051 - We're back with our second animated feature and it might be out last. At least from the WB direct to Bluray variety. We're talking about Deathstroke: Knights & Dragons, which may have been a TV show at one point, but is definitely an hour and a half movie. Deathstroke is a talented DM for the DC Universes D&D knockoff game K&D... nah, just kidding that would be a way better movie.

Synopsis:

Ten years ago, Slade Wilson-aka the super-assassin called Deathstroke-made a tragic mistake and his wife and son paid a terrible price. Now, a decade later, Wilson's family is threatened once again by the murderous Jackal and the terrorists of H.IV.E. Can Deathstroke atone for the sins of the past-or will his family pay the ultimate price?

The Rental

050 - Like anyone needed another reason not to use an AirBNB in 2020, but here it is... The Rental. The movie is only an hour and a half long, but Kevin and Dustin manage to talk about it for over two hours... that should probably tell you the quality of movie you're thinking about watching before or after you listen to this episode of Us Versus Movies!

Synopsis:

Two couples rent a vacation home for what should be a celebratory weekend get-away.

Amulet

049 - Get ready to ride or die on this episode of Us Versus Movies! We're reviewing Amulet, an indie-ish movie that had 17 production companies produce it just so that it could stream on Amazon. Demons, nuns, plaster repair and black mold, so much to look forward to on this episode.

Synopsis:

An ex-soldier, living homeless in London, is offered a place to stay at a decaying house inhabited by a young woman and her dying mother. As he starts to fall for her, he cannot ignore his suspicion that something sinister is going on.

Clueless

048 - Its the most anticipated episode in the history of our podcast, which is all hyperbole! So who wants to hear two grown men talk about Clueless for two hours? Would it help to know that one of the grown men had never watched the movie before this podcast? We hope so because you clicked on the damn thing!

Synopsis:

Shallow, rich and socially successful Cher is at the top of her Beverly Hills high school's pecking scale. Seeing herself as a matchmaker, Cher first coaxes two teachers into dating each other. Emboldened by her success, she decides to give hopelessly klutzy new student Tai a makeover. When Tai becomes more popular than she is, Cher realizes that her disapproving ex-stepbrother was right about how misguided she was -- and falls for him.

Greyhound

047 - Tom Hanks on a boat should feel familiar. Tom Hanks during World War II probably feels even more familiar. Put them together and you have Greyhound basically. That's right, we review Apple TV's first movie without any controversy attached to it and 80% of it takes place on the poop deck... nah it's the bridge.

Synopsis:

Early in World War II, an inexperienced U.S. Navy captain must lead an Allied convoy being stalked by Nazi U-boat wolfpacks.

Desperados

046 - Ready for Netflix's net raunchy rom-com? No you're not. We weren't either, but we sat through this film that's full of glimmers of potential and not much else. So have a meet cute with us on the latest episode of Us Versus Movies!

Synopsis:

A panicked young woman, with her reluctant friends in tow, rushes to Mexico to try and delete a ranting email she sent to her new boyfriend.

Becky

043 - Becky with the good hair this is not, but if you like Doc Martens and blood-splatter, have we got the movie for you! Now, let's reconnect as a family during an eternal sunset and dissect this movie starring Lulu Wilson and Kevin James.

Synopsis:

Spunky and rebellious, Becky (Lulu Wilson) is brought to a weekend getaway at a lake house by her father Jeff (Joel McHale) in an effort to try to reconnect. The trip immediately takes a turn for the worse when a group of convicts on the run, led by the merciless Dominick (Kevin James), suddenly invade the lake house.

The Last Days of American Crime

042 - Everyone on the internet is asking the question, "Last Days of American Crime really that bad?" The answer to that question is easy... yes. I bet you thought you had to listen to an entire podcast to find out, no you'll have to listen to an entire podcast to find out why it's so bad. Please do that instead of watching the movie.

As a final response to terrorism and crime, the U.S. government plans to broadcast a signal making it impossible for anyone to knowingly commit unlawful acts. Graham Bricke (Edgar Ramírez), a career criminal who was never able to hit the big score, teams up with famous gangster progeny Kevin Cash (Michael C. Pitt), and black market hacker Shelby Dupree (Anna Brewster), to commit the heist of the century and the last crime in American history before the signal goes off.

The Wrong Missy

041 - It our turn to take a whack at a golf ball with a hockey stick on this episode of Us Versus Movies. That's right, we sat through Happy Madison's newest Netflix movie starring David Spade and the rest of Adam Sandler's friends and family. Let's travel back to the 90s, because the future is fucked!

Code 8

039 - We're not saying that this is low budget X-Men with criminals... we're definitely not saying that. You could say it for us and be absolutely right, but you'll have to listen to the episode to find out all the twists and turns to X-Criminals... eh, Code 8. A movie that has not one, but two Amells in it! Let's get our Amell on!

Gretel and Hansel

040 - We have a horror, thriller, fantasy for you today in the form of Gretel and Hansel. Yup, they flipped the fucking name so they would get lost in a sea of Jeremy Renner pictures, you know before he had his own failed social media platform. Anyway, we're excited to talk about Orion Pictures' latest movie!

Vivarium

038 - It's our first indie movie of the new season! Let's play house as one of us becomes Not The Momma and the other becomes Not Your Mother as we talk about Vivarium! A movie that shows if you're going to copy Twilight Zone, you should also copy its runtime. Now let's all scream until the milk level is just right on this episode of Let’s Movie.