Well this definitely looks like a bar I would actually go to. I mean I don't drink, but if I got to see all of this happening I would pretend to be a designated driver or something. The real question is will this make it into the DCnU?
Why in The Hell Not? Batman: Arkham City Action Figures - Series 1
I understand now why they added the crappy fog effect in this promo pic. My God, what's wrong with Harley Quinn? That's some terrible posture girl. Not only that, what's the story with Bruce's neck? That thing looks five feet long! Looks like Robin wins...just because. Whew, if your undying love for Batman: AC is strong then look for these questionable figs December 21, 2011.
Review: TMNT #2
Everything old is new again this month as the Ninja Turtles continue their resurgence with the second issue of their new ongoing series from IDW. While other companies are trying to bring the golden era of the 90’sback, Ninja Turtles is a different kind of excitement. For starters its one I can really get behind. With the Turtles there really isn’t that cynical fan waiting to attack the series for starting over again, in fact everyone reading the comic seems to be really excited about their return. The last issue scored our first 5 out of 5, which set the bar pretty high for this second issue.
Right off the bat the second issue shows us that this first story arc is very well connected as we pick up right where the last issue left off, but without the cheap recap of recycled pages to get the reader up to speed. Raph has busted in to a young Casey Jones’ house to stop his dad from beating him. Casey’s dad doesn’t back down though and must be too drunk to realize he’s fighting a big green turtle. After destroying a lot of the house, Raph chases the old man off. In our past storyline we see the very beginnings of the Turtles and Splinter. Non-talking rat Splinter gives the unaware intern April O’Neil some very key evidence as she studies late into the evening at the lab. That is until some ninja’s break in and nearly kill her. Splinter is fast to act as he pulls the fire alarm and saves her, but not before they take the turtles.
The rat is quick to chase after to get the Turtles and manages to attach one of the ninjas scratching them on the face (we all know who that is!). Splinter and the turtles are dropped from the top of a roof top and come crashing down into the ooze! As they get their bearings a one eye cat grabs one of the baby turtles and runs away with it.
There’s plenty more to this tale and frankly that’s what I’ve enjoyed the most about this series, it gives you just enough to satisfy, but also entice you to come back for more. It hasn’t been this exciting to read the Turtles in years and thankfully IDW is doing everything right with this series. Not all of their adaptations have been great, but I think they’ve learned from their shortcomings and really treat their new adaptations with a lot of respect and understanding for the audience that likes them.
I really don’t have anything new to say about the writing or art on this issue since it’s still really good. Kevin Eastman and Tom Waltz make a great team and it’s very interesting to see the different areas of responsibility they have. The Turtles have been through a lot over the years and mishandled plenty, but this time around everything seems as tightly knit as their first run of popularity. Dan Duncan is still producing some great pages and even though this issue was lighter on the action it was still very good. It shows what a strong artist and storyteller Duncan is that he can make a rat and baby turtles interesting to look at.
Do you like the Turtles? Well then there is no reason not to be reading this series. I don’t know what other recommendation to give since that’s really what it boils down to, people who read Turtles and those who don’t. Often times we don’t want to share our cherished childhood memories with the youth of today, but I have to say that I hope that this book finds a young reader and gives them the same excitement that the Turtles did for me. You know how you top the first issue? You don’t stop producing the same level of material in the next issue, which is what our creative team has done here.
Score: 5/5
Publisher: IDW Publishing
Price: $3.99
Review: Dark Horse Presents #4
If ever there was an issue to begin reading, it’s this one. There is so much top tier talent in this book that it makes it a worthy purchase. The first amazing tale in this collection is Beasts of Burden, “Food Run.” It’s about our four legged occult detectives trying to capture and stop a goblin from stealing and killing chickens. Right away Evan Dorkin’s dialog for the chickens is funny and memorable. The story is short, but has the strange bittersweet ending that the series always has. It’s a fun tale, but still maintains its serious nature and was definitely another great entry in the series.
The next major entry in the issue is The Adventures of Dog Mendoca and Pizza Boy. It’s the origin story for Dog Mendoca who appears as an older man that is well past his prime. The story breaks the fourth wall as Mendoca talks to the audience and even brings up the fact that Dark Horse has paid him for his story. I really enjoyed the tale as it had a solid mix of heart and soul, but also sprinkles of comedy and light-hearted moments. I’m very much looking forward to the story continuing in the next issue as this was a strong first tale in the book.
Continuing on our hit series appearing in the book we have the next chapter in Criminal Macabre. You may recall my review for the last issue, but what I didn’t mention is that Cal is dead. I can say that now since this book mentions it in the first bit of dialog, but any ways Call is dead. He’s comeback as one of the undead and must lead a war against the dark. He’d rather drink and smoke and find some way to beat death though, so it’s going to take some convincing to get him going. It’s another great Cal story and if you read last week’s issue then you won’t want to miss this one.
Sure these books are the big time creators, but other notable stories include: Number 13 by Robert Love and Daniel Walker, Age of Reptiles: The Body by Ricardo Delgado which was particularly powerful. Some other stories: Resident Alien by Peter Hogan and Steve Parkhouse which was very strange, but interesting as hell. Finder: Third Worlds by Carla Speed McNeil which was different, but I found myself really liking it. The ending story which is just one page seemed MAD magazine inspired and was very hilarious and was done by Patrick Alexander.
The writing and stories for this issue were all top of the line and made for a great read. I liked the small collection of stories that it had as it made it easy to digest and not so dependent upon stretching a story for issue sake. The smaller chunks of storytelling really seemed to focus the creators so that they would put their best work into each story. Even though it’s already on issue 4 this is a great place to jump on the series as several new tales are beginning that you won’t want to miss out on.
Score: 4/5
Writers: Various
Artists: Various
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Price: $7.99
Review: Spontaneous #4
This series has been incredibly difficult for me to review since it’s been very abstract and open to the reader’s interpretation at times. Also the underlining fact that there is a mystery to solve makes it difficult to speak of without giving away too much and spoiling it. That being said, we’re on the fourth issue and ready or not I’m talking about this damn book finally.
This series began as Oni Press’ Free Comic Book Day title and that’s something I’ve always admired. They are the only company that for two years running, have given away the first issue of a series. Not a reprint, but a first print and that’s when I began reading this series. The story follows a boy named Melvin that is obsessed with spontaneous combustion, so much so that he can almost certainly determine when someone is going to combust. This issue sees him locked in jail as several combustion deaths have been pinned on him due to his childhood. In his youth he discovered a voice that talked to him and allowed him to create fire. Because of this he’s suspect number one when others start turning up burned to a crisp and he was found near the crime scene.
Melvin has two friends in the world, one is a nosey free press reporter that suspects him and doesn’t at the same time. She decides to help him by visiting an old man that ran a company that’s tied to all of the deaths. The old man seems to be able to control electricity and kills an orderly while she’s interrogating him. His second friend is Kenny and he is a shitty friend. It turns out that Kenny may have been working against Melvin and definitely hasn’t been up front and honest with him about the combustion.
Joe Harris’ last project with Oni, Ghost Projekt, followed a similar storytelling pattern of building a mystery and then dealing with the reveal for the last several issues. That seems to be the same thing happening here which means we’ve got two more issue until our happy ending. Where Ghost Projekt failed, Spontaneous succeeds in that the characters are likeable and realistic. The idea of the story is interesting so far, but we’ve yet to see the payoff of the idea.
The art is what really sells this book as it gives it a very distinct look as artist Brett Weldele uses water colors for the entire series. It gives everything a very Templesmith look to it, but Weldele’s style is much cleaner and different. The characters look like they belong in a comic book, but in a very realistic setting. It’s a great style and Weldele is sure to move on to other projects after Spontaneous comes to a close.
Can I whole heartily recommend this book? No. It’s very niche and the appeal is to a small portion of the comic community, but its existence is important for that reason. If all comic books were able to hit a wide appeal then they would be boring. As it stands Spontaneous is a book that has very average elements mixed with above average elements as well.
Score: 3/5
Writer: Joe Harris
Artist: Brett Weldele
Publisher: Oni Press
Price: $3.99
Review: B.P.R.D. – Hell on Earth: Russia #1 (of 5)
2011 has been the year for Hellboy and B.P.R.D. as creator Mike Mignola has taken each series to a new level and really capped off events alluded to from the very beginning of the world’s creation. With this next chapter of B.P.R.D. we truly are experiencing “Hell on Earth.” Abe is out of commission and we know what Elizabeth is up due to the last series of B.P.R.D. which leaves us only a few members to take on any new situations.
The issue begins with an event in Russia that sees a commander exploring some underground tunnels, what he’s looking for is unclear. He soon finds a vile looking pile of human remains that have been mushed together as one blob like substance. Soon bright lights over takes him as he begins shouting at his men asking them if “they feel it.” Soon after the B.P.R.D. team consisting of Kate Corrigan and Johann Kraus are on their way to meet the Russian Occult Team.
On their plane ride over Kate recaps the events that have had the world turned upside down and expresses her concerns with Abe’s comma. As they land, they are only greeted by one officer and a group of men with flame throwers. As they make their way to their meeting a man transforms into a giant blob and attacks the B.P.R.D.’s car. The driver reassures them that the car is fire proof as the soldiers light the man on fire killing him. At their meeting Kate is blindsided by the Russians knowledge of their missions, especially the more recent ones that haven’t turned out very well. It’s a very on the nose reference to Wiki Leaks which keeps the series modern, but puts a date stamp on the title as well.
The book is mainly plot set up and thus doesn’t accomplish much more than that. It’s not a bad thing, but don’t expect a lot of answers to what’s happening in the world of Hellboy or action for that matter. Because this is just the first issue of five it’s a good starting point for a new chapter in the series and since this one is much longer than the previous installments it can stand to be slow. The writing from Mignola and John Arcudi continues to be great and really there’s nothing new I can say about them. They are crafting a strong world that ties into Hellboy, but is able to accomplish a lot on its own.
Tyler Crook began his stint as the regular artist on the last series and though his art was good on the previous he’s already shown improvement with this chapter. A lot of the finer details that were missing in the last series have been worked into the latest and it makes his art a lot more enjoyable to look at. I would say that in general his art still comes across a bit too cheery for the series and universe, but it’s still some very good art. I think with some improvement he could really nail the “end of the world” tone, but right now he’s not quite there.
Are you reading B.P.R.D.? Then keep reading it. If you’re not, but you’re interested then really you can jump on with the start of every new series. There is always a recap of events at the beginning of the book and usually the characters dialog will fill in any other blanks that you need in a very seamless way. Frankly, I’m suffering from “reboot fatigue” and have been enjoying books that aren’t about superheroes. If you’re fatigued as well, but have stumbled back into comics recently then take a look at the Hellboy-verse.
Score: 3/5
Writers: John Arcudi and Mike Mignola
Artist: Tyler Crook
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Review: Fathom #2 (Vol. 4)
Okay so there are two Fathom series running right now: one in the past and one in the present. This is the present series after Aspen has already learned that she’s not just from the underwater society, but she’s half black and half blue (their terms not mine). I missed an issue of this book somewhere down the line, but really it didn’t seem to matter since the book recaps everything you need to know through convincing dialog and narrative.
The story opens with a US submarine crew thinking they’re under attack as Aspen speeds past them in her water form. It’s a very campy action opening, but something about it works for the issue. Through some dialog chunks we find out that Aspen is on her way to stop the President from being killed by some rouge water dwellers. Everyone back on the water station is freaking out and calling anyone they can in order to warn them of Aspen’s approach, but nothing seems to be working for them.
As Aspen arrives to the UN meeting that’s taking place she’s greeted by gun fire and a very small window of warning. She isn’t injured by the bullets in her water form, but she comments that she feels each one and that it isn’t pleasant. Aspen’s plan is to make a scene to prevent the bad fish from go through with their mission. Fortunately, they’re plans have already been soured by the fact that Vice President is filling in for the President. After the commotion from Aspen the bad fish make their move to kill the VP, but she’s just in time to stop them.
The pacing for this book is very tight and fast paced. It’s literally, bam on to the next one, bam on to the next one and that’s just what this series needs. If you’re stuck underwater the entire time it’s not very interesting, but if you’re dealing with it this way gives the book a feeling usually associate with water and that’s speed, it works. Scott Lobdell does a good job of keeping it moving and in a way that makes sense. You’re not hanging out wondering what’s next because you don’t have time to.
I’m glad that Aspen has abandoned this theory that every artist to work on Fathom must attempt to draw like Michael Turner. Case in point Alex Konat who’s style may take some cues from Turner, but he brings his own approach and it works. His style has everyone looking a lot more realistic, but with the bright colors it still has that carefree feel that Aspen’s always had.
This series has felt more like a series of one shot that just happen to fit together, which is kind of cool. It makes it easy to jump on and off the series and not feel like you’ve missed anything vital as was the case with me and this issue. Sure it’s issue two, but I was still able to follow along with the story and enjoy it. I actually enjoyed it a lot and that’s saying a lot for not having read the previous issue. Lobdell may have jumped ship to more corporate seas, but his work at Aspen has been top-notch and well worth reading.
Score: 3/5
Publisher: Aspen Comics
Review: Soldier Zero #12
You know what I like about ongoing series? They’re kind of like soap operas in the way that you can miss several episodes and still comeback and have a basic understanding of everything that’s happening. Case in point Soldier Zero from Boom! Studios. The last issue I read was probably issue nine, but I was able to jump on to this issue for the big conclusion of the year long story arc that’s been building since issue one.
The story is pretty simple at this point; Stewart aka Soldier Zero is fighting some aliens that have come to Galactify the planet in order to keep the future going. SZ basically tells them to “stop fronting” and get off his planet. He also figures out even more of the mysteries surrounding his suit and why so many damn aliens are interested in earth. That’s pretty much the entire story as most of it is recap and action… lots of action.
As much action as there was though, it was a bit lack-luster since SZ didn’t do any harm to the future aliens and they barely attempted to do anything to him. I’m not sure if that was a flaw in the writing or the art, but it felt like the same scenes over and over with vaguely different dialog. All in all though, it was still very enjoyable and felt like it finally paid off after a year of issues. Abnett and Lanning are as consistent as always and have done a great job on the series since taking over.
The art continues to be an issue with me on this series. At times Javier Pina draws rich full scenes that capture the world perfectly and the rest of the time he fills the book with character scenes that lack any background detail at all. It’s not bad, but it just seems like at this point that he’s not living up to his full potential and I’m not sure if its due to the schedule, skill or direction.
This is a very solid issue and really shows the books potential to be a long running series, but it will always need top tier writing and art talent to keep going. That’s not a bad thing, but it’s something to worry about as we kick off the next year of the series. If you’ve read the book from the start then this issue is very rewarding as far as the plot is concerned even if the action is a bit lack-luster.
Score: 4/5
Publisher: Boom Studios
Price: $3.99
Review: Broken Pieces #1
After reading the zero issue to this series I really had no idea what was going on, but one thing was clear… it was the Incredible Hulk. That is to say that the concept seemed very much inspired by Hulk, which was a terrible impression to give someone. The first issue paints a very different story, be it not completely different but close enough.
The issue pulls the typical “start in the present, go to the past and work forward” storytelling that is common in movies and comics. It’s not bad to start that way; it’s just been done a hundred times so it’s not very interesting. We’re shown a first person perspective as our mystery man awakens from a table dazed and confused. Then we jump to the past as Richard is lying on his wife’s lap enjoying her company. You can tell that they are very much in love as they discuss what they must do that day. Richard is dodging everything saying he’d rather lay with her and listen to her heartbeat, but his wife Gabriella bribes him with bacon so that she can prepare for her grant meeting later that day.
After a flashy sale pitch from the CEO from Trinion, Richard and Gabriella take the money and begin working on a cure to the disease that’s swept the country. They begin their research, but hit roadblock after roadblock… until finally a breakthrough from Richard. Meanwhile the border of the country has been blocked off at Virginia and several people left outside are seeking their chance to enter. Trinion protects the boarders and even though they have medical scanners, they are refusing anyone sick or healthy from entering the country. The people are lead be a giant of a man who’s ready to force his way in if he has to, that is until Trionion’s CEO sics his enforcer on the crowd. He cuts the leader in two and then gathers up his body.
Parts of the story haven’t been spelled out, but they’re pretty obvious as to what’s happening. The story is one part Incredible Hulk and one part Frankenstein. The big man that’s cut down becomes Richard and Gabriella’s test subject. Then something goes wrong and Richard, who is sick, gets his mind transferred into the big man’s body which is able to cure itself. Even though I was able to figure that out already the journey that the story is on is interesting. Writer and creator Mark Roslan has done a good job of laying the ground work with this issue and developing characters that are interesting that can be developed further as the story goes on.
I don’t know what’s with Aspen finding artists named Micah that can draw like nobody’s business, but they’ve done it again. This time it’s Micah Kaneshiro and his style is very clean and realistic looking. The opening sequence in first-person is interesting to look at and doesn’t suffer from awkward posing. It’s very photo realistic and great to experience on the page. Kaneshiro’s style goes beyond just his pencils as he also colors his own work. His coloring really brings the characters to life and honestly makes them look real. His style reminds me a lot of Phil Noto’s, but much more realistic.
I was really put off by the zero issue of this series, but I was curious enough to give it another shot and I’m glad I did. You can tell the influences in the story, but it’s a good thing as it gives you something familiar to associate it with rather than just borrowing heavily as other books do. So far the story is good and developing into something very interesting and the art, oh the art is fantastic and pushes everything to the next level.
Score: 4/5
Writer: Mark Roslan
Artist: Micah Kaneshiro
Publisher: Aspen Comics
Review: Near Death #1
Near Death is a crime noir drama that almost comes across as a mixture of Criminal and Incorruptible, but manages to find a middle ground of its own. The issue begins with the main character Markham on his way to a doctor after being shot. In typical crime story outline, the doctor is a veterinarian and she patches him up, but not before he dies first. He finds himself in a dessert area and is approached by a man with a bullet wound in his head. Markham recognizes him as the first person he ever killed. They have a conversation and Markham says that he would do things different had he known it would turn out this way. Well he gets a second chance to tip the scales and is sent back to his body.
He recovers and thinks of what he wants to do know to tip the scales and the first thing is to fix the last job he was on. Markham is a hit man for some well organized crime syndicate. When he goes to get the job back, he finds out that it’s been given to someone else. He follows the other hit-man, who he knows, and finds him about to kill a woman in witness relocation. He kills the other hit-man and then sends the woman away with a large chunk of money and thus erases her from the system. No more cops or criminals.
The story was good, it had some generic rough spots that I don’t personal think were needed, but I can see the larger audience needing those elements in order to grab on to the tale. The ending, the true ending not where my review stops, was a bit cheesy and became very unbelievable. With the exception of the afterlife scene, the entire book is very much grounded in reality. Nothing is too far-fetched and you can distain belief long enough to enjoy the book, but the ending came across as ridiculous but still a very strong story from Jay Faerber. Faeber has a strong narration throughout the story and does a good job of giving each character enough personality that they come across believable.
On the art side of things new comer Simone Guglielmini is a very strong talent. He nails the crime noir feel the series has and again it’s very reminiscent of Sean Phillips style on Criminal. Not that Guglielmini is copying Phillips style; no he does a good job of making the crime noir genre his own. Even if you don't enjoy the story or get much out of it, Guglielmini's art is worth the price of admission alone.
If you’re looking for more crime noir, which seems to have settled down as of late, then check out Near Death this week. It’s a solid entry into the genre and this first issue is interesting enough that it marks the start of a good series. I doubt there will be another huge resurgence from this books launch, but it’s good to see others continue to work in the genre comics.
Score: 3/5
Publisher: Image Comics
Artistic! Born This Way
If there is one thing we like around here at Comic Bastards its fan art and weird comic inspired art. So today we have a play on... well you know what it's playing on. Is it awesome? I don't know, but it’s funny and man has it been a long day due to Twitter. If you follow me on Twitter... sorry, but stick with us everything is sorted out for everyone and just remember if you see the Comic Bastards: in front of it, it's legit.
Dodged a Bullet: Crap Avengers Game is No More
So here's some footage from that Avengers game that THQ canned. The sad part isn't the fact that it got shelved, because it looks like shit. Yeah, I know let’s play a super hero game where I stare at Captain America's fucking hands for twelve hours. The sad part is how the nerds are reacting. They spew forth tears of "why" and "THQ are out of their minds." Really guys? Just because it's a Marvel property and has The Avengers name on it doesn't mean it's good. I bet you see a movie if they made one too. Oh....never mind. Well, whatever, I hate dubstep!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R84svZiVrmU
Review: Executive Assistant: Lotus #3
Another in the “Hit List Agenda” crossover wraps up this week with Executive Assistant: Lotus. It’s a solid ending for the series and still the second best in the series, coming up second only to Orchid. It plays a bigger role in the events happening in Iris, but it still leaves a bit of mystery for how the entire crossover is going to end.
We saw at the ending of the last issue that Lotus was being betrayed by her employer and this issue is that show down. Lotus has served Virat for years and thought she had his forgiveness for killing his daughter, it turns out that he wanted to use her and then kill her which takes away all sympathy for his character. It also doesn’t make much sense, since she had come to him to be killed in the beginning and he declined. It’s just a very strange revenge plan if you ask me. At any rate the newly trained and computer chip controlled Executive Assistants are sent for Lotus and she must dispatch them the best she can. She manages to take down two of them, but then finds herself being choked out by some gas from a third.
Low and behold our series jumping Iris shows up to save her. It’s clear by this issue that Iris is being sent to take out the other executive assistant’s employers either due to a shady business deal gone wrong or for other yet to be revealed reasons. Iris and Lotus now find themselves with only a gun and a sword as they take on five more well trained e.a.’s before they can kill Virat.
It’s a very fast paced issue that is solely focused on the action. After all the story progressed as far as it could by the end of the last issue leaving only the resolution. It’s a decent issue because of the action, but it sadly lacks the detailed narrative that the first issue so prominently displayed. I enjoyed the nuances that Vince Hernandez used in his action sequences, but as the series has progressed they’ve become less and less. The narration instead focuses on Lotus’ betrayal and her strategy for survival.
The ending is descent and matches the series thus far, but it’s still a bit lack luster and doesn’t do the strong character of Lotus justice. Of all the series in the crossover she was the most likeable character and I would be interested in another series featuring her and that’s a credit to this series for sure. That’s not to say it was perfect, but it was good and entertaining and sparked enough interested to desire not only to know the outcome of the “Hit List Agenda”, but also what the future has in store for Lotus.
Score: 3/5
Publisher: Aspen Comics
Price: $3.50
WTF Cover: Star Wars: Knight Errant - Deluge #2
What. Is. That? That is the strangest looking woman I have ever seen and not a single thing is consistent about the art work. Look at the knuckles... one is rich with details as if it were, I don't know, clutching the steering wheel while the other is loosey-goosey. Let's ignore the arms and just go to the face. Those are some off centered ears and the amount of detail we can see at this angles is very unrealistic. I just look at this cover and want to turn away as I wonder what the hell is that? Why is this being put out? I don't know if the interior art is some how better and frankly I don't want to know. I can review this book... but I don't see it happening. Do you want us to review it?
I Like This New JL Better
You can read the full version here: BatDick
WTF Review: Teen Wolf - Bite Me #1
Having been born in the 80’s I get a general distaste in my mouth when they’re updated for a new generation. In the case of Teen Wolf, the updated version exists in name alone as it has nothing else that resembles the campy movie comedies from the era. Now it’s more Twilight than campy, but there is one other major source that it’s taking its story cues from and guess what… it’s from the 80’s as well. If you ever watched the TV show Werewolf, then do not bother watching or reading the new Teen Wolf show or comic since you’ll have already seen a far better version of it.
The comic opens up introducing the main character, Scott or Jimmy or some shit, his name is horribly generic just like the story. He passes out when he gets around a rabbit and then the story just moves on from there only acknowledging that he passes out awkwardly in a later scene. From there the main character uses his werewolf abilities to help him on the lacrosse field, until he’s checked from behind and somehow manages to launch the ball directly at his girlfriend. In front of everyone he runs over to stop the ball, but is too late when another vampire werewolf grabs the ball out of the air. At this point apparently the game is over and no one acknowledges that he just launched a lacrosse ball at killer force and then tried to run over and grab it… did I mention that the game is over? That the stands literally just clear out as this is going on for no reason. Some other stuff happens and also ends abruptly and our character is transported to his house. His girlfriend stops by for a visit, but he can’t switch back into his human form. I have no idea where his parents are in any of this either.
Honestly I can’t recommend anyone buy this book and really I don’t know who it’s for. It’s clearly not for the average comic book reader. It’s not even for the casual reader. It’s for fans of the new TV show, which is basically made up of fans of Twilight. The problem is that I don’t see them buying this derivate crap. The story is extremely choppy and basically when every scene ends, that’s it they just move on to something else with little to no explanation as to how they got there. The worst is the narration, because I couldn’t figure out which character was narrating the crap book. I thought it was the main character at first, but then they started referring the main character in the third person. Frankly if this is any representation to the story or storytelling of the TV show then count me out. Again thought, I don't see fans of the show picking it up either when they could just watch the show.
The art on the other hand reminds me of any of the callous adaptations that Dynamite produces which makes it a bigger laugh as the artist has mostly worked on IDW’s callous adaptations. The art is as much of a train wreck as the story. In the lacrosse scene there are two teams playing each other, or at least I assume there is because one team has a grey shirt and maroon jersey while the other team has a maroon shirt and grey jersey. Not that it really matters because the art is so bad you don’t care who you’re looking at and the story is even worse since you don’t know if it’s a practice or areal game they’re playing or what is going on in general.
Maybe I just wanted too much information from this book, simple things like, “what happened in that last scene?” or “Why all the lights are on in this kid’s house and why his girlfriend is visiting with another guy in the middle of the night?” I mean I wouldn’t ask so many questions if the story wasn’t so bad and left all these loose ends and half written bits of dialog for me to do all the work of creating the story for them. Maybe teenage girls don’t care that he targeted his girlfriend with a lacrosse ball perfectly, from the ground as he was tackled and that his only motivation to stop the ball was because he threw it at his girlfriend; not that he didn’t want to endanger other people, nope if it had hit the poorly drawn woman in the front row he probably would have barked and scratched himself like a dog. This is everything that’s wrong with comics because this isn’t a comic at all, it’s a marketing tie-in.
Score: 0/5
Publisher: Top Cow and Image Comics
Go Ahead And Burn Them: DC's One Million
Remember when DC said that it was going to make it to a million issues of all of its titles in an attempt to show that comics were here to stay? They had a huge sales gimmick push where for one month every book they published jumped into the future as if the issue had made it to the millionth edition. It was again, to show that comics were here to stay. It’s funny how much can change in just over a decade. Here we are now with DC doing another sales gimmick of rebooting its entire line and saying they're doing it... because there are no new readers. So in a way DC's mantra has become, "Comics are here to stay, the way we say." What's even funnier is that it's the same people in charge of DC now as it was back then which really makes you wonder what the problem is? It kind of reminds me of this Warren Ellis post.
The point of all this? Go ahead and burn that 1,000,000 million crap because it ain't going to be worth shit and frankly was a terrible gimmick to begin with. That and you'll probably be able to buy it digitally for the low, low price of $3.99. But for right now, from one collector to another... burn it and make some room in your collection for something new and better... from a different company perhaps. But if you honestly think you're going to sell the whole bundle one day for $119 bucks like this guy... you are sadly mistaken.
Until next time when I give more advice on what to prune from your collection, remember: Comics are only worth what someone else will pay.
Cover gallery time!
Why Isn't Vertigo Comics Day and Date Digital?
Perhaps I'm just dense and this occurred to everyone, but it just struck me... Vertigo Comics (a division of DC) hasn't gone day and date with their comics. At first the justification is that because Vertigo isn't a part of the DCnU that they wouldn't be forced to go day and date and not technically the same company. But wait, remember when DC restructured and everything Vertigo and Wildstorm was brought under one roof? Well that means that Vertigo is very much a part of the day to day that DC is which one would think would mean that they too should have gone day and date digital with the reboot.
What got me thinking was this Twitter post from DC that you can read here. It basically reminded me that, "Oh yeah, Sweet Tooth came out this week." I then looked for it digitally and found that only issues one to eleven were available. Interesting I thought, but why the hell wouldn't they have Vertigo go day and date?
I suppose that Vertigo having more creator owned projects may have something to do with it, but still... they're all under one roof. So why didn't DC drum up ridiculous sales numbers for Vertigo comics? They could have easily slapped #1's on all of their series and not told anyone that it was still just the next issue in the story line. At the very least it seems like that was the opportunity to give Vertigo books a digital boost at the same time and DC didn't. This could play into the theory that DC is thinking about getting rid of Vertigo altogether due to soft sales and the failure to attract new readers, which is a hot button for DC right now.
I guess the biggest question I have is why the upper management didn't want to include Vertigo when everything is supposedly functioning under one roof, unless they have something else going on. Really it leaves only two choices: 1) There will be some huge Vertigo digital push after all the DC hype dies down or 2) Phasing Vertigo out may have already begun. I really hope it’s not the latter of the two.
Artistic! Magneto Fan Art
Hey there friend... it's Friday! Today we have a batch of art for you all featuring Magneto. Why? Because he's sucky awesome that's why.
And there you have it. If you've got some awesome or not so awesome Magneto pictures then feel free to post them in the comments.
Review: Baltimore - The Curse Bells #2 (of 5)
I would definitely call this series a “pulse pounder” since you’re constantly left wondering what’s going to happen to our main character Lord Baltimore. That’s really where this book has always stood out to me in the fact that due to its time setting dead means dead and if someone meets their end there’s nothing to save them.
This issue picks up with Baltimore approaching the abbey that’s all been turned into vampires. He’s hot on the path of Haigus, but as he arrives at the Abbey he finds nun centuries lining the walls. He also finds the reporter that turned him onto the path following behind in an attempt to document Baltimore’s journey. Baltimore leaves him to guard his weapons as he scouts the abbey to see what he’s up against. He finds a disturbing ceremony happening in which a priest is forcing a pregnant woman to drink blood, vampire blood which leads him to a trapped and weakened Haigus.
He leaves his enemy in clutches of the curse abbey and heads back to gather weapons and supplies before launching his attack. Back in town he heads into a church and finds a priest tied up on the cross of Jesus. From behind the cross a giant snake appears speaking in tongues which Baltimore quickly dispatches. It’s an interesting scene as it shows just how far gone the European society has fallen due to the war and the plague. Upon returning to launch his assault he tells the journalist that his priority is Haigus, even it means sacrificing the woman trapped in the demonic ceremony.
The scene I absolutely loved the most was the giant snake. It was shocking and very interesting to see these people take up and worship this being of evil simple because it told them too. I really like the idea of this old evil spreading out and that the more it spreads the less people are afraid of it and become almost excepting of their new rulers. Mignola and Christopher Golden continue Baltimore’s journey with another issue that offers twists and intrigue. What this issue really showed me was that Baltimore doesn’t want to die, otherwise he would have lunged head first at Haigus when given the chance and he didn’t. That’s why the writing is so good, because it puts human fears onto fictional characters.
Here’s all I have to say about the art: It’s still great! Ben Stenbeck has a solid issue and although there aren’t any surprises that doesn’t mean the art isn’t great. Stenbeck is very consistent and he tackles a world that only he and the other creators can truly bring to life. Frankly, when it comes to comic book art, no surprises and consistency beat out the opposite any day.
This is a heavy week for Dark Horse, but for sure this issue is worth picking up. Its recaps enough that new readers can still approach this issue and series with the second issue which isn’t true with a lot of storylines and series. So don’t miss this great series just because it doesn’t have a shiny #1 on the cover, because it shines much brighter.
Score: 4/5
Writers: Mike Mignola and Christopher Golden
Artist: Ben Stenbeck
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Price: $3.50