Worst Movies of 2015 #3

You can't have the "Best" without the "Worst" so in typical Comic Bastards fashion we're bringing you the worst movies of 2015. Yeah we're steadily into the new year, but let's not forget what made for some painful cinema last year. Also, we could only pick the movie's we've seen. So if something isn't on our list and you're surprised... don't be. That means it was so bad we didn't even waste our time.


DAVE: Taken 3

Luc Besson has never met a successful film that he didn’t try to turn into a money-making franchise, but each Taken sequel has been worse than the last, and each one seems to move further and further away from what made the first one such an unexpected hit. The original taken is taught, tense and enjoyable, but Taken 3 (hopefully the franchise’s last breath) has very little to do with those other films, aside from featuring Liam Neeson punching random Eastern European men with beards. Nothing is “taken” is Taken 3, instead the plot finds Neeson’s Bryan Mills framed for the murder of his ex-wife, and on the run from the LAPD. It feels like writers Besson and Robert Mark Kamen (along with director Oliver Megaton) have taken a generic thriller screenplay and run it through a “Taken” filter. It’s a bit The Fugitive, but nowhere near as good.

I can remember when, at the end of Taken 2, Neeson’s character said “I’m...just so tired”. We all are, Liam, we all are. Stopping at one film would have been perfect. Stopping after the lesser second one would have been advisable, but stopping at three really, really needs to happen. I never thought watching the man who played Oscar Schindler punch people would get boring. But it has.

The Loft


When I first saw the trailer for The Loft, I was quite interested. I loved Wentworth Miller in Prison Break, and of course it was just a hit cast. It also felt like it had the potential to be a modern-day “Clue” in that it would be a compelling mystery with great acting. WAS I EVER WRONG! This film was downright boring. The acting from EVERY star in it was beyond stale. Not only that, I saw the ending coming from A MILE AWAY. I mean, I give them credit for trying to pull a fast one, but I could tell from the second the film started who did it. With an atrocious screenplay and disappointing acting, The Loft takes my #3 spot.


DUSTIN: Jurassic World/Star Wars: The Force Awakens

What I’m about to say applies to both films. They’re just remakes of the first film, but done in continuity. Sure, they’re the two biggest films, but when I watched them they did the same thing. Make references to the successful first film while copying it. I didn’t enjoy either. They were just rehash. They are what’s wrong with Hollywood and yet movie audiences continue to eat it up. Why? Because they buy the hype rather than making informed decisions and looking for balanced opinions. They tie for third because they do the exact same fucking thing and if you can’t see that then you probably saw both of them twice. Also if you want a tie-breaker just pick whichever one made enough money for you at the box office.